Teachers— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: ・主張（トピック文）は明確ですが、文法と語順の誤りがあり表現が不自然な箇所があります（例: "explained so difficult so clearly"）。 ・情報は具体的で適切ですが、文がやや冗長なので2〜4文で簡潔にまとめると良いです。 ・つなぎ言葉（for example, because, soなど）を適切に使って流れを改善しましょう。 ・語彙は適切だが、より自然な表現（explained difficult texts clearly, encouraged us a lotなど）を選ぶと良いです。

예시: I had one favorite teacher at Osaka University who taught English reading. She explained difficult passages very clearly and always encouraged us, so studying became enjoyable.

제안: ・意見は明確で理由も述べられており、構成は良いです。 ・ただし "help students learn everything" のような過度に一般化した表現は避け、具体例や語彙を入れると説得力が増します。 ・接続詞（although, so, for example）は適切ですが、文をもう1文にまとめて流れを滑らかにするとより自然です。 ・文法上は比較的良いが、語彙の多様化（demanding, rewarding, high-pressureなど）を心がけてください。

예시: I wouldn't like to be a teacher, even though it's an important and rewarding profession. Teaching can be very demanding and stressful, so I prefer a career with more predictable hours and less emotional pressure.

제안: ・伝えたい内容は良いが、文が壊れており多くの文法ミスと語順の誤りがあります（例: "played through my writing", "by writing skills improve the significantly"）。 ・まずは短く明確なトピック文を作り、その後で1〜2文の具体例をつなげましょう。 ・動詞や句の選択（reviewed my writing / gave constructive feedback / my writing skills improved significantly）を正しく使う練習が必要です。 ・接続詞や句読点を使って文を区切り、論理的な流れを作ってください。

예시: I still remember one of my junior high school teachers because he reviewed my writing and gave me constructive feedback. Thanks to his detailed corrections and encouragement, my writing skills improved significantly and I became more confident.

제안: ・回答が短く不完全で、時制と語形の誤り（"move to to"）や文の終わりが不自然です。 ・過去の出来事を述べる際は過去形を使い（moved）、理由を1文で簡潔に述べ、必要なら現在の状況を追加してください。 ・5文以内で収め、余計な語や途切れを避けましょう。

예시: No, I haven't kept in touch with my primary school teachers because I moved to another area after graduation.

제안: ・内容は分かるが、動詞の選び方や時制が不適切（"plays through my writing", "I won't apprise"）で伝わりにくいです。 ・助けられた具体的な方法（reviewed my essays, encouraged me to enter competitions）とその結果（improved skills, awards, confidenceなど）を明確に述べてください。 ・接続表現（As a result, Thanks to him, Because of his supportなど）を正しく使う練習をしましょう。

예시: He always reviewed my writing and encouraged me to enter writing competitions. As a result, my writing improved and I gained confidence, so I am very grateful to him.

× I had one favorite teacher at Osaka University.

✓ I had one favorite teacher at Osaka University.

The sentence is grammatically correct in past tense for describing a past experience; no change needed. Suggestion: keep as is when referring to a past period.

× She was my English reading teacher and she was very kind.

✓ She was my English reading teacher, and she was very kind.

The sentence correctly uses past tense to describe a past teacher; only a comma is added before the conjunction for clarity. Suggestion: Use a comma before 'and' when joining two independent clauses.

× She explained so difficult so clearly and always encouraged us, which made learning enjoyable.

✓ She explained difficult things so clearly and always encouraged us, which made learning enjoyable.

Original uses incorrect word order and adjective/adverb use. 'Difficult' should modify 'things' (noun), and 'so clearly' should be the adverbial phrase. This fixes sentence structure and adjective/adverb usage. Suggestion: Place adjectives before nouns and adverbs after the verb or phrase they modify.

× I don't want to be a teacher in the future, although I think teaching is a very important and challenging job.

✓ I don't want to be a teacher in the future, although I think teaching is a very important and challenging job.

This sentence correctly uses present tense to express current preference about the future; no grammatical change needed. Suggestion: Keep present simple when stating personal preferences.

× For example, teachers help students learn everything, but the profession can be stressful, so I would prefer a different career.

✓ For example, teachers help students learn many things, but the profession can be stressful, so I would prefer a different career.

'Learn everything' is an overgeneralization and sounds unnatural; 'many things' is more natural. Grammatically the sentence is correct otherwise. Suggestion: Use more natural quantifiers like 'many things' instead of absolute 'everything' when speaking generally.

× I still remember one of my junior high school national Rangoji teachers because he played through my writing and gave me constructive feedback Thanks to his encouragement and detailed corrections by writing skills improve the significantly and though I became more confident in.

✓ I still remember one of my junior high school teachers, Mr. Rangoji, because he went through my writing and gave me constructive feedback. Thanks to his encouragement and detailed corrections, my writing skills improved significantly and I became more confident.

Multiple issues: run-on sentence, incorrect verb phrases, missing punctuation, and wrong verb forms. 'Played through' is incorrect; use 'went through' or 'reviewed'. 'By writing skills improve the significantly' is ungrammatical—correct is 'my writing skills improved significantly'. Also add punctuation and a subject for 'became more confident.' Suggestion: Break complex ideas into multiple sentences, use correct verb phrases ('went through', 'improved'), and include subjects for clarity.

× I haven't been in touch with my primary school teachers because I move to to other areas after graduation.

✓ I haven't been in touch with my primary school teachers because I moved to other areas after graduation.

Mismatch of tenses: present perfect 'haven't been' is fine, but the reason uses simple present 'move' incorrectly; past 'moved' matches the completed action after graduation. Also remove duplicate 'to'. Suggestion: Use past simple for a completed past action that explains a current state: 'I moved to other areas after graduation.'

× So.

✓ So, that's why I haven't kept in touch.

Single-word reply 'So.' is a fragment and unclear. Expand to a complete sentence that explains the result or links to the previous sentence. Suggestion: Avoid sentence fragments; provide a full clause to explain or conclude.

× He always plays through my writing and encouraged me to apply for writing competition.

✓ He always went through my writing and encouraged me to apply for writing competitions.

Mixing of present 'always' with past 'encouraged' is inconsistent: if referring to past teacher's habitual past action, use past 'always went through'. Also 'plays through' is incorrect; use 'went through' or 'reviewed'. 'Writing competition' should be plural or use an article: 'writing competitions' or 'a writing competition.' Suggestion: Maintain consistent tense (past) and use correct verb collocation ('went through'/'reviewed'), and correct noun number/usage.

× As a result, I won't apprise, so I'm very grateful to him.

✓ As a result, I wasn't accepted, so I'm very grateful to him.

'I won't apprise' is incorrect. Likely intended meaning is 'I wasn't accepted' or 'I didn't win'—interpretation made: use past passive 'wasn't accepted' if referring to application result. If the intended meaning was different, choose appropriate verb. Also reconcile tense: 'As a result' plus past actions use past tense. Suggestion: Use correct verbs and tense for past results (e.g., 'I wasn't accepted' or 'I didn't win'), and avoid 'apprise' which means 'inform' not 'accept.'