Tidiness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve accuracy, clarity and natural word choice. Use correct vocabulary (e.g., “room” not “scenes”), fix grammar (subject-verb agreement, word order), and shorten to 2–4 clear sentences. Add one specific example of what you do and use a linking word to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I like to keep my room tidy because it helps me feel relaxed and clears my mind. For example, I always put my books back on the shelf and hang my jacket after I use them, so the room feels comfortable and calm.

제안: Make the answer more concise and natural. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two supporting details using linking words. Use past tense consistently and avoid long run-on sentences.

예시: Not really. When I was a child my parents usually tidied my room because they wanted me to concentrate on studying, so I focused on homework instead.

제안: Correct vocabulary and grammar, be specific about methods and use linking words. Replace unclear words (‘scenes’, ‘sport’) with ‘items’, ‘areas’, or ‘drawers’. Provide one concrete example of your organization system and keep answers within 2–4 sentences.

예시: I try to keep my study space tidy because it helps me concentrate. For instance, I sort items into categories—books, stationery and electronics—and keep them in separate drawers or boxes so everything is easy to find.

제안: This is a clear, relevant response but can be improved by briefly explaining why tidiness might help some people. Add a linking phrase and one reason to make your opinion more convincing.

예시: I think it depends on the person. For example, some people work well in a messy environment, but for most people being tidy helps reduce stress and saves time because they can find things more easily.

× Yes, I like to keep scenes tidy because it helps me feel relaxed and clever my mind.

✓ Yes, I like to keep scenes tidy because it helps me feel relaxed and clear-minded.

The phrase 'clever my mind' is incorrect English; 'clever' is an adjective meaning intelligent and cannot modify 'my mind' here. The intended meaning is that tidiness clears the mind, so use 'clear-minded' (an adjective) or 'clear in my mind.' Also use a hyphen for the compound adjective 'clear-minded.' Suggestion: say 'it helps me feel relaxed and clear-minded.'

× I always put the scenes bike into zero places after using them which make my room to feel comfortable and calm.

✓ I always put my things back in their proper places after using them, which makes my room feel comfortable and calm.

The original contains several errors: 'scenes bike' is nonsensical and likely intended as 'my things' or 'my belongings.' 'Zero places' is incorrect; use 'proper places.' Subject-verb agreement: 'which make' should be 'which makes' because the clause refers to the singular idea of returning things, making the room feel comfortable. Also remove the unnecessary 'to' in 'feel.' Suggestion: use clear nouns like 'my things' and ensure the relative clause verb agrees ('makes').

× I didn't really need to keep my room tidy when I was a child because my main responsibility was studying and my parents took care of my household matters for example they would tidy my room and tell me how to arrange things so I focus on my schoolwork instead.

✓ I didn't really need to keep my room tidy when I was a child because my main responsibility was studying, and my parents took care of household matters; for example, they would tidy my room and tell me how to arrange things so I could focus on my schoolwork instead.

Tense consistency and modal use: the sentence mixes past and present ('so I focus'). Change to past ability/permission 'so I could focus' to match the past context. Add commas and a semicolon to separate clauses and insert 'household' without 'my' for natural phrasing. Suggestion: keep verbs in the past when describing childhood events ('didn't need', 'was', 'took care', 'would tidy', 'could focus').

× Yes, I would like to keep my work space tidy because it can help me calm and I usually divide different scenes into different category and put them into the designated sport.

✓ Yes, I try to keep my workspace tidy because it helps me stay calm, and I usually sort different items into different categories and put them in designated spots.

Multiple word choice and form errors: 'work space' should be 'workspace' or 'work space' as one word is common; 'help me calm' should be 'help me stay calm' (use verb phrase 'stay calm'). 'Divide different scenes into different category' is incorrect: use 'sort different items into different categories.' 'Designated sport' is a typo for 'designated spot.' Suggestion: use 'help me stay calm', 'sort items into categories', and 'designated spots.'

× I think it depends on the person. For example, some of my friends are quite untidy but still very successful. So being tidy isn't necessary for everyone.

✓ I think it depends on the person. For example, some of my friends are quite untidy but still very successful, so being tidy isn't necessary for everyone.

The original two short sentences are grammatical but better combined into one flowing sentence by joining with a comma and lowercase 'so.' This improves cohesion but does not correct a grammatical error. Suggestion: combine related ideas into one sentence for smoother speech.