Tidiness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make your answer more natural and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two supporting details using linking words. Avoid redundancy and limit to 3–4 concise sentences. Focus on correct verb forms, articles, and word order (e.g., “I consider myself an organized person,” not “our such a organized person”).

예시: Yes, I do. I consider myself an organized person, so I keep my room tidy and plan my study and work tasks carefully. For example, I make a weekly to-do list and put things back in their place after using them.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence and then one clear supporting detail. Correct tense and pronoun use, and avoid confusing phrases (e.g., “he doesn't steal” is unclear). Use linking words like ‘however’ or ‘sometimes’. Keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes, I did. I used to clean my room regularly; however, my older brother was less tidy, so I sometimes helped him tidy his room as well.

제안: Be specific and clear about your methods. Use correct sentence structure and avoid double negatives like “easy to can't find.” State one or two concrete practices and use linking words such as ‘for example’ or ‘so’.

예시: I keep my desk organized by only keeping items I need for work and storing everything else. For example, I use drawers and labeled boxes, and I tidy the surface every evening so I can always find what I need.

제안: Start with a clear opinion and support it with one or two reasons, using linking words like ‘because’ or ‘therefore’. Use correct noun forms and word order (e.g., ‘tidiness makes you seem reliable’). Avoid vague phrases such as ‘make sense to tidy everything’.

예시: Yes, I do. Tidiness is important because it makes you appear reliable and helps you stay responsible. Therefore, being tidy at work or study can improve productivity and others' trust in you.

× Yes I do, I see myself as our such a organized person.

✓ Yes I do. I see myself as such an organized person.

The original uses 'our' incorrectly; the speaker means 'such an' to modify 'organized person'. Also sentences should be separated with a period. Use the article 'an' before a vowel sound and place 'such' before the article and adjective for natural word order.

× It is not only tidy my room also I like to organize my study and works whatever I need to do by myself.

✓ Not only is my room tidy, but I also like to organize my study and my work, and I do whatever I need to do by myself.

The original has incorrect word order and missing connectors. Use the correlative structure 'not only ... but also' and correct noun forms: 'work' (uncountable) or 'my work'. Add conjunctions and proper word order to make the sentence grammatical.

× So yes I usually clean my room.

✓ So yes, I usually clean my room.

Add a comma after 'So yes' for natural speech flow. The sentence is otherwise grammatical; correction adds punctuation for clarity.

× Yes I did. I used to clean my room quite often, but on the other hand my older brother didn't actually he doesn't steal so sometimes I helped him to tidy his room as well and.

✓ Yes I did. I used to clean my room quite often, but on the other hand my older brother didn't; he didn't tidy his room, so sometimes I helped him tidy his room as well.

The original mixes tenses and has run-on phrasing. Keep past tense consistent for past habits: 'didn't' and 'helped'. Remove 'steal' which is incorrect here, and use punctuation to separate clauses. Also 'helped him to tidy' can be 'helped him tidy' for natural speech.

× Well when I purchased something I need I value it is really important things for my study or work.

✓ Well, when I purchase something I need, I value it; it is really important for my study or work.

Tense should match present habit: 'purchase' not 'purchased'. Remove plural 'things' after 'important' and use 'important for my study or work'. Add commas and semicolon to separate clauses. 'Value it' is clarified by the following clause.

× So as of my desk it's really organized and really easy to can't find something I need.

✓ As for my desk, it's really organized and it's easy to find something I need.

Use the correct phrase 'As for my desk'. The original has a negation error 'easy to can't find' — replace with positive 'easy to find'. Add 'it's' for the second clause to be grammatical.

× Yes I do think so. Like for study and work the tidy is makes reliable as a person, personal responsibility as well.

✓ Yes, I do think so. For study and work, being tidy makes you seem reliable and shows personal responsibility.

'The tidy' is incorrect; use the gerund 'being tidy'. 'Makes reliable as a person' is ungrammatical — rephrase to 'makes you seem reliable' and 'shows personal responsibility'. Add commas for clarity.

× So people should make sense to tidy everything I think.

✓ So people should make an effort to tidy everything, I think.

'Make sense to tidy' is incorrect collocation. Use 'make an effort to tidy' or 'make sense to keep things tidy'. Add comma before 'I think' for natural speech.