Tidiness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 문장 구조가 불완전하고 반복되는 음성과 망설임이 많습니다. 주제문으로 직접 답변한 뒤 구체적이고 간결한 세부사항을 한두 문장으로 덧붙이세요. 불필요한 반복(예: "umm", "uh")을 줄이고 단어 선택을 바로잡으세요(예: "loom" → "room"). 연결어를 사용해 문장을 자연스럽게 이어 보세요.

예시: Yes, I do. I enjoy keeping my room tidy because a neat environment makes me feel calm and focused. For example, I always put clothes in the wardrobe and organize my desk every evening so I can start the next day without clutter.

제안: 대체로 질문에 답했지만 문장이 끊기고 문법 오류(동사 형태, 어순)가 있습니다. 과거 습관을 말할 때는 'used to' 또는 'when I was a child'와 같은 표현을 명확히 사용하세요. 이유나 구체적 예시를 한두 문장으로 더해 문장을 완성하세요.

예시: Yes, I did. When I was a child, my parents always told me to keep my room tidy, so I used to make my bed and put toys away every day. This habit started when I was about five and continued through my school years.

제안: 반복 표현('always always')과 연결사 사용법이 어색합니다. 현재 습관을 말할 때는 간결한 주제문 뒤에 순서나 방법을 구체적으로 설명하세요. 연결어(for example, after finishing)와 정확한 명사 사용(desk, workspace)을 사용하면 더 자연스럽습니다.

예시: I always tidy my desk before I start studying so I can concentrate better. For example, I put away my phone, clear any unnecessary papers, and wipe the surface after finishing to keep it neat.

제안: 의견을 제시했지만 이유 제시가 불충분하고 반복적입니다. 'I think so' 대신 명확한 주제문을 사용하고, 이유와 결과를 연결어로 설명하세요(예: because, so). 구체적인 이점(예: reduced stress, efficiency)을 추가하면 설득력이 높아집니다.

예시: Yes, I believe being tidy is important because it reduces stress and helps me work more efficiently. For instance, when my desk is organized, I can find my books quickly and focus on tasks without distractions.

× Yes I do umm, for example, umm keeping my loom tidy is very. Makes me happy uh, but keeping my messy.

✓ Yes I do. For example, keeping my room tidy makes me very happy, but when it is messy I feel upset.

The original has fragment sentences and a misspelled word (loom -> room). Combine fragments to form complete sentences and fix word choice. Use a subject and verb in each clause: 'keeping my room tidy makes me very happy' is a full clause; contrast with 'when it is messy' to complete the idea. Also remove filler words (umm, uh) for clarity.

× Yes I did. Umm, when I was a child my mother and my father told always told me keep your room clear and tidy.

✓ Yes I did. When I was a child, my mother and father always told me to keep my room clear and tidy.

The original misorders adverb and repeats 'told'. Place 'always' before the verb phrase and include the infinitive marker 'to' after 'told' for reported commands. Also omit redundant 'my' before 'father' and add commas for clarity.

× So umm since I was five years old, I always keep my.

✓ Since I was five years old, I have always kept my room tidy.

When referring to an action that started in the past and continues to the present, use the present perfect ('have kept'). The original is incomplete (ends with 'my') and uses simple present incorrectly for a continuing situation. Complete the object ('room tidy').

× And when I start to study I always always keep my table desk clean and tidy.

✓ When I start studying, I always keep my desk clean and tidy.

Avoid starting sentences with 'And' in formal answers and remove repeated 'always'. Use the gerund 'studying' after 'start' rather than 'to study'. 'Table desk' is redundant; use 'desk'.

× And also after studying I always clean my desktop.

✓ Also, after studying I always clean my desk.

'Desktop' can mean computer screen; use 'desk' to refer to study surface. Remove leading 'And' and place a comma after 'Also' for natural flow.

× I think so. Umm keeping my room or my desk tidy is very good. In fact, to me, UMM for example, it is very calm and convenient.

✓ I think so. Keeping my room or desk tidy is very beneficial. For me, it creates a calm and convenient environment.

'Very good' is vague; 'beneficial' is clearer. The original contains disfluencies ('Umm', 'for example') and awkward phrasing 'it is very calm and convenient.' Use 'creates a calm and convenient environment' to express the effect of tidiness. Remove filler words and restructure for clarity.