Tidiness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and complete. Start with a clear topic sentence answering the question directly, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid fillers (uh, um) and unfinished sentences. Also use correct grammar (e.g., "I'm a messy person" not "messy person").

예시: No, I don't particularly enjoy keeping things tidy. However, I try to improve by setting aside 15 minutes each evening to put things away and tidy my desk, so my space doesn't get too cluttered.

제안: Answer directly and give a clear reason with specific details. Use past tense correctly and link cause and effect with words like "because" or "so". Avoid hesitations and complete your thought.

예시: Not really. I wasn't very tidy as a child because my mother was very organized and usually took care of household tasks, so I didn't learn to keep my room in order until later.

제안: Structure your answer: begin with a topic sentence describing your routine, then give specific steps or habits using linking words (first, then, finally). Use precise vocabulary and finish sentences. Avoid listing with "etcetera."

예시: I keep my study area organized by designating a corner of my room as my workspace. First, I arrange books on a shelf to the left, then place my computer in the center, and finally I store chargers in a small box so the desk surface stays clear.

제안: Provide a clear opinion and justify it with specific reasons and examples. Use linking phrases (for example, because, therefore). Reduce repetition and correct awkward phrasing (e.g., "it looks perfect outside" unclear).

예시: Yes, I think being tidy is important because it creates a calm environment and makes a good impression on others. For example, a neat desk helps me focus better, and guests are more comfortable when the house is orderly.

× I wouldn't say I like to keep things tidy 'cause I'm really idle and messy person.

✓ I wouldn't say I like to keep things tidy because I'm a really idle and messy person.

Missing article before 'really idle and messy person' and informal contracted 'cause' should be 'because' in formal speech. Add the indefinite article 'a' for singular countable noun and use 'because' for clarity. Grammar problem type ID:22: Article errors

× However I'd like to get rid of this, uh, kinda personality and, uh, nowadays I'm.

✓ However, I'd like to get rid of this kind of personality, and nowadays I am trying to change.

'kinda' is colloquial; use 'kind of'. The sentence fragment 'nowadays I'm.' is incomplete and needs a verb phrase. Replaced with 'nowadays I am trying to change' to complete the sentence and match present progressive meaning. Grammar problem type ID:23: Sentence without a verb

× I wouldn't say I was so tidy as a child, uh, 'cause my mom was very organized person and she was doing household choices instead of me.

✓ I wouldn't say I was very tidy as a child because my mom was a very organized person and she made household decisions instead of me.

Missing article before 'very organized person' (article error) and awkward verb 'was doing household choices' is incorrect; use 'made household decisions'. Also use 'very' instead of 'so' for naturalness. This fixes article use and verb choice. Grammar problem type ID:22: Article errors

× And that's the reason I would say umm, uh, now like this as an adult and.

✓ And that's the reason I would say I am like this as an adult.

Sentence fragment ending with 'and.' is incomplete (sentence without a verb or object). Removed filler words and completed the clause with 'I am like this' to be grammatical. Grammar problem type ID:23: Sentence without a verb

× I have a separate place in my room and there are my desk and chair to sit and on my desk there are various kinds of books and my computer and chargers, lights, etcetera.

✓ I have a separate area in my room with my desk and chair, and on my desk there are various books, my computer, chargers, and a lamp.

Awkward phrasing 'separate place' better as 'separate area'; 'there are my desk and chair to sit' is ungrammatical—use 'with my desk and chair'. 'Various kinds of books' simplifies to 'various books'. 'Lights, etcetera' is vague; use 'a lamp'. This fixes sentence structure and word choice. Grammar problem type ID:26: Sentence structure errors

× And I put my books on one side and then computer on.

✓ I put my books on one side and the computer on the other side.

The fragment 'then computer on' is incomplete and missing articles. Add 'the' before 'computer' and complete the phrase 'on the other side' to show contrast. Grammar problem type ID:23: Sentence without a verb

× Sure, it's essential to be tidy, it looks perfect outside and it gives such a message.

✓ Sure, it's essential to be tidy; it looks neat on the outside and sends a positive message.

Comma splice: two independent clauses joined with a comma—use semicolon or separate sentences. 'Perfect outside' is odd—'neat on the outside' is natural. 'Gives such a message' is awkward; 'sends a positive message' is clearer. Grammar problem type ID:26: Sentence structure errors

× You are uh, so organized person and it's great thing.

✓ You are a very organized person and it's a great thing.

Missing article before 'organized person' and before 'great thing' (article errors). Replace 'so' with 'very' for formality and clarity. Grammar problem type ID:22: Article errors

× But you need to be so umm, tidy and you should avoid being messy.

✓ But you don't need to be excessively tidy; you should just avoid being messy.

Original 'need to be so tidy' is vague; 'so' is informal. 'Need to be excessively tidy' clarifies meaning. Also improves contrast with avoiding messiness. Grammar problem type ID:13: Incorrect use of adjectives or adverbs