Tidiness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid awkward phrasing (e.g., "clean freak person"), correct grammar ("when someone interrupts, I find it irritating"), and limit to 2–3 sentences. Add one brief reason or example using a linking word.

예시: Yes, I do. I'm quite tidy and prefer to keep my room and belongings well organized. For example, I have a dedicated room where everything has its place, and when someone disturbs that order I feel distracted.

제안: Provide a clear topic sentence and reduce repetition. Use past tense correctly for childhood habits ("I used to be" or "I have been" careful). Give one specific example and a linking word to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I did. I grew up keeping my room tidy because I shared it with my older sister, who taught me to put toys and books away. As a result, I still try to be neat even when I'm visiting other people's homes.

제안: Be concise and correct singular/plural and word choice (e.g., 'materials' -> 'material'; 'book cells' -> 'bookcase' or 'shelves'). Start with a topic sentence, then give one or two specific methods using linking words for coherence.

예시: I keep my study space tidy by putting all materials in designated places. For instance, I store books on a bookshelf and keep pens and paints in labeled boxes, which helps me concentrate and work more efficiently.

제안: Avoid fillers like 'umm' and formal address 'Sir' in IELTS answers. Give a direct topic sentence and one clear reason with a linking phrase, and avoid overgeneralizing ("everyone agrees").

예시: Yes, I do. Being tidy is important not only because it reflects our habits, but also because it reduces germs and makes the environment healthier for everyone around us.

× To be honest, I think that I'm a clean freak person and I like to keep my things organized and tidy.

✓ To be honest, I think I'm a clean freak, and I like to keep my things organized and tidy.

'Clean freak' is an informal noun phrase; adding 'person' is redundant and awkward. Use 'a clean freak' or 'a tidy person'. Also add a comma before 'and' joining two independent clauses for clarity.

× I have a separate room in my house and I keep everything in order and whenever someone interrupt it's I find it very irritating too.

✓ I have a separate room in my house, and I keep everything in order; whenever someone interrupts, I find it very irritating.

'Someone interrupt' has incorrect verb form: with subject 'someone' use third person singular 'interrupts' (subject-verb agreement). Also sentence needed punctuation and word order correction: 'it's I find it' is ungrammatical; change to 'I find it very irritating.'

× Yes, since my childhood I have been an hygienic person and I tend to keep my things neat and well organized.

✓ Yes, since my childhood I have been a hygienic person, and I tend to keep my things neat and well organized.

Article 'an' before 'hygienic' is incorrect because 'hygienic' begins with a consonant sound; use 'a hygienic person'. Comma improves readability. The present perfect 'have been' with 'since my childhood' is acceptable.

× I have learned this habit from my sister with whom I used to share a room since my childhood and I have learned a lot from her.

✓ I learned this habit from my sister, with whom I used to share a room during my childhood, and I learned a lot from her.

Combine tense usage for clarity: 'used to share' suggests past habitual action, so use simple past 'learned' for consistency. 'Since my childhood' is better as 'during my childhood' when describing a past period. Also remove repetition by using a consistent tense.

× And I tend to do so even when I'm in someone else's house too.

✓ I tend to do so even when I'm in someone else's house.

'And' at sentence start is unnecessary; 'too' is redundant with 'even'. Remove extra words for conciseness.

× I tend to keep my study space tidy by organizing every materials I use in a proper place.

✓ I tend to keep my study space tidy by organizing every material I use in the proper place.

'Every' should be followed by a singular noun: 'every material' (though 'every item' or 'all the materials' are more natural). 'In a proper place' is better as 'in the proper place' or 'in proper places' depending on meaning.

× I have a separate book cells where I keep all my books and I have a box where I keep all the materials like paint and pencils.

✓ I have a separate bookshelf where I keep all my books, and I have a box where I keep materials like paint and pencils.

'Book cells' is incorrect pluralization and word choice; use 'bookshelf' (singular) or 'book shelves'. 'All the materials' can be shortened to 'materials'. Ensure noun forms are correct and natural.

× I always keep my study space tidy so that I can focus in my study and perform well.

✓ I always keep my study space tidy so that I can focus on my studies and perform well.

Use the preposition 'on' with 'focus' ('focus on'). 'My study' should be plural 'my studies' when referring to schoolwork in general. Tense is fine; correction addresses preposition and noun number.

× Yes Sir, I believe that everyone agrees that we need to be tidy and hygienic because it's not just about, umm, our personality, but it is very much important for our health and for all the people who are living around us.

✓ Yes sir, I believe that everyone agrees that we need to be tidy and hygienic because it's not just about our personality; it is also very important for our health and for the people who live around us.

Capitalize 'sir' not necessary; lower-case is acceptable. Remove filler 'umm'. 'Very much important' is unnatural; use 'also very important'. 'Who are living around us' is wordy; use 'who live around us.' Replace comma with semicolon or split sentence for clarity.