Tidiness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and use clearer linking words. Start with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details with cohesive devices. Avoid redundancy (e.g., "tidy my work" and "clean my room" overlap).

예시: Yes, I like to keep things tidy. On weekdays I maintain basic order because I'm busy, and on weekends I thoroughly clean my room and organise my desk so I can easily find everything.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and then add specific, coherent details with better sentence structure and linking words. Avoid run-on sentences and vague endings. Mention one or two concrete examples of tasks you did as a child.

예시: Yes, I usually kept my room tidy as a child because my mother insisted on weekly cleaning. For example, every Saturday we would put dirty clothes in the washing machine and fold toys and books neatly on the shelf.

제안: Open with a direct statement and use linking words to connect points. Use varied vocabulary (e.g., "organise," "stationery") and avoid repeating "make it a point." Provide one concrete routine and one benefit.

예시: I keep my study space organised by using labelled folders for loose papers and a pencil holder for stationery. Additionally, I dust and wipe the desk every evening so the surface stays clean and I can work without distractions.

제안: Give a clearer topic sentence and support it with a reason and a brief example. Replace unclear words like "flutter" with precise vocabulary (e.g., "clutter" or "distractions").

예시: Yes, I believe being tidy is important because a clean environment reduces distractions and improves concentration. For instance, when my desk is organised I can complete tasks faster and make fewer mistakes.

× Yes, I like to keep things tidy if I'm busy on the weekdays.

✓ Yes, I like to keep things tidy even when I'm busy on weekdays.

Use of 'if' implies a conditional; 'even when' better expresses contrast that despite being busy the speaker still keeps things tidy. Also 'the weekdays' is unnatural here; use 'weekdays'. Ensure present simple 'like' matches habitual action.

× I make it a point that during the weekends I find time to tidy my work, to clean my room and thus I can find all the things in their proper place without mismanaging them.

✓ I make it a point to find time on weekends to tidy my work and clean my room so I can find everything in its proper place.

Use infinitive 'to find time' instead of 'that ... I find time'. 'During the weekends' -> 'on weekends'. Combine clauses for clarity and use 'everything' and 'in its proper place' for idiomatic phrasing. 'Mismanaging them' is awkward; replaced with clearer structure.

× Yes, I used to keep my room tidy as a child because my mother was very specific that the room and the house should be clean every weekend she used to make efforts with us so that we tidy our room and clean our clothes, put The Dirty clothes in the washing machine and also put other.

✓ Yes, I used to keep my room tidy as a child because my mother insisted that the room and the house should be clean every weekend; she used to make us tidy our room, wash our clothes, and put dirty clothes in the washing machine.

Run-on sentence corrected and verbs standardized to past tense: 'was very specific' -> 'insisted' for natural phrasing. Use 'used to make us' not 'make efforts with us'. Capitalization fixed ('The Dirty' -> 'dirty'). Removed unclear 'and also put other' and clarified actions. Past habitual 'used to' is appropriate.

× Because the workplace or the study place is very important, I make it a point that we have folders on our table so the extra pages are stacked in those folders.

✓ Because the workplace or study area is very important, I make it a point to have folders on my table so extra pages are stacked in them.

Changed 'study place' to 'study area' and 'we have' to 'I have' to match the speaker. Use infinitive 'to have' instead of 'that we have'. 'Those folders' -> 'them' for smoother reference. Ensure subject consistency.

× Also have pencil holders and pen holders so that they are not clustered over my table.

✓ I also have pencil and pen holders so that pens and pencils are not scattered on my table.

Missing subject 'I'. 'Clustered over my table' is awkward; 'scattered on my table' is idiomatic. Clarified reference by repeating 'pens and pencils' instead of 'they' to avoid ambiguity.

× And I make it a point that I use a duster and clean my table.

✓ And I make it a point to use a duster and clean my table.

Use infinitive 'to use' after 'make it a point' rather than a clause 'that I use'. This aligns with common collocation 'make it a point to do something'.

× Yes, I think it's necessary to be tidy, because if the place is clean and tidy, your thoughts are also the same.

✓ Yes, I think it's necessary to be tidy, because if the place is clean and tidy, your thoughts are too.

'Your thoughts are also the same' is wordy and unidiomatic. Use 'too' for concise parallelism. Present simple 'think' and 'is' correctly express general truth.

× You are more focused on the work rather than the flutter which is around and you concentrate on your job well.

✓ You are more focused on your work rather than the clutter around you, so you can concentrate on your tasks well.

'Flutter' is the wrong word; 'clutter' fits context. 'Which is around' -> 'around you'. Replaced 'job' with 'tasks' for general study/work context and added 'so' to show result. Improved word order for natural English.