Tidiness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct small grammar mistakes. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid repeating the same idea and fix errors like "there isn't any distractions" → "there aren't any distractions" and "in near me" → "near me."

예시: Yes, I do. My grandfather taught me that cleanliness is important, so I tidy my bed every morning and sweep the room once a week. As a result, I feel more focused because there aren't any distractions around me.

제안: Provide a clear topic sentence and shorten redundancy. Use linking words to make it coherent (e.g., "however," "so"). Correct phrasing like "not of my own free will" could be simplified to "not willingly."

예시: No, not willingly. I was quite carefree as a child, so I rarely cleaned my room unless my parents reminded me or insisted that I do it.

제안: Use correct grammar and be specific about strategies. Fix count and agreement errors: "there aren't any disruptions," "crumpled-up pieces of paper," "empty pens," and avoid starting sentences with "And." Use linking words like "for example" and "in addition."

예시: I keep my study area tidy by removing distractions. For example, I throw away crumpled-up paper, put empty pens in a drawer, and switch off my phone so I can concentrate on my work.

제안: Start with a clear opinion and support it with one or two specific reasons. Avoid vague phrases like "presents good character" — give concrete effects. Use linking words such as "because" and "therefore."

예시: Yes, I do. Being tidy reflects discipline and respect for others; for instance, a neat workspace helps you find things quickly and shows colleagues that you are reliable.

× My grandfather always taught me that cleanliness is next to godliness, so because of his teachings I always keep my surroundings clean.

✓ My grandfather always taught me that cleanliness is next to Godliness, so because of his teachings I always keep my surroundings clean.

Use of the definite article is not the issue here; rather 'Godliness' is a proper noun in this proverb and should be capitalized. Also the sentence is otherwise grammatically correct. Suggestion: capitalize 'Godliness' to reflect the fixed phrase 'cleanliness is next to Godliness.'

× I make sure to tidy my bed every morning and to sweep at least once a week.

✓ I make sure to tidy my bed every morning and sweep at least once a week.

The infinitive 'to' before the second verb is unnecessary when the verbs share the same auxiliary structure. Removing the second 'to' makes the sentence more natural. Suggestion: join coordinated verbs without repeating the particle 'to' unless needed.

× This way I feel focused in my room and I feel that there isn't any distractions in near me.

✓ This way I feel focused in my room and I feel that there aren't any distractions near me.

Problems: subject-verb agreement with 'distractions' (plural) requires 'aren't' not 'isn't'; 'in near me' is ungrammatical—use 'near me' or 'around me'. Suggestion: match verb number to the noun and use correct prepositional phrase 'near me'.

× No, not of my own free will.

✓ No, not of my own free will.

Sentence is acceptable as is. It conveys meaning correctly. No correction needed.

× I was very carefree as a child.

✓ I was very carefree as a child.

Sentence is correct in past tense and fits context. No correction needed.

× I didn't care about how clean my space was and for me to clean, I had to be reminded or to be forced.

✓ I didn't care about how clean my space was, and to get me to clean I had to be reminded or forced.

Problems: 'for me to clean' is awkward; better is 'to get me to clean'. Also parallel structure: 'reminded or forced' without 'to be' is more natural. Suggestion: use active infinitive 'to get me to...' and keep parallel structure.

× And that was the only situation where I would clean as a child.

✓ That was the only situation in which I would clean as a child.

Beginning a sentence with 'And' is informal though acceptable; more formal: remove 'And'. Use 'in which' instead of 'where' when referring to a situation. Suggestion: prefer 'in which' for situations and avoid unnecessary conjunction at start.

× I keep my study space tidy by making sure that there isn't any disruptions around me.

✓ I keep my study space tidy by making sure that there aren't any disruptions around me.

'Disruptions' is plural so use 'aren't' not 'isn't'. Also 'any' is acceptable with plural noun. Suggestion: ensure verb agrees with plural noun.

× For example, I make sure that there isn't any crumpled up pieces of paper or that there isn't any empty pens that I can't use.

✓ For example, I make sure that there aren't any crumpled-up pieces of paper or any empty pens that I can't use.

Plural nouns 'pieces' and 'pens' require 'aren't' not 'isn't'. Hyphenate 'crumpled-up' as a compound adjective. Maintain parallel structure and repeat 'any' for clarity. Suggestion: match plural nouns with plural verbs and keep parallel coordination.

× And I also make sure that there's no gadgets for me to use, so that way I'm focused on my work.

✓ I also make sure that there are no gadgets for me to use, so that I can focus on my work.

'Gadgets' is plural so use 'there are' not 'there's'. 'So that way' is redundant; use 'so that' or 'so' and use 'I can focus' instead of 'I'm focused' for purpose. Suggestion: ensure subject-verb agreement and use concise purpose clauses.

× I think that everybody should be tidy because it presents good character.

✓ I think that everybody should be tidy because it presents a good character.

'Good character' usually takes no article when used in general ('it shows good character'), or may take 'a' in some contexts. Better: 'because it shows good character.' Suggestion: rephrase to 'it shows good character' for natural expression.

× It shows that you want to be clean and that you care about your environment, and it makes people aware that you're somebody who's focused and who doesn't get distracted.

✓ It shows that you want to be clean and that you care about your environment, and it makes people aware that you're someone who is focused and doesn't get distracted.

Use 'someone' rather than informal 'somebody' for smoother style; 'who is focused' better than 'who's focused' in formal speech but contraction is acceptable. Also 'who doesn't get distracted' is fine; remove redundant 'who' before 'doesn't'. Suggestion: simplify relative clauses and avoid redundant relative pronouns.