Tidiness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammatical errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler sounds ("umm"), fix article and plural mistakes ("the keeping" → "keeping", "decks" likely "desk" or "decks" depending), and use one linking phrase to add reason. Aim for 2–3 sentences, each natural and specific.

예시: Yes, I do. I especially like keeping my bedroom and desk tidy because an organized space helps me concentrate and reduces stress. For example, when my desk is clear I can find study materials quickly and finish tasks more efficiently.

제안: Improve grammar and coherence: use correct expressions ("a bit messy", not "a bit of messy"), and maintain past tense consistently. Reduce redundancy and link reasons with connectors ("so", "because"). Combine similar ideas to stay within 5 sentences and add one specific brief example of behavior change.

예시: No, I didn't. I was quite messy as a child and often left toys and clothes scattered, so my parents frequently nagged me to tidy up. For instance, I only bothered to clean my room when guests were coming, which changed later when I learned to organize my things to save time.

× I really enjoy the keeping my things tidy, umm especially my bedroom or decks.

✓ I really enjoy keeping my things tidy, especially my bedroom or desk.

The phrase 'the keeping' incorrectly uses the definite article before a gerund; remove 'the'. Also 'decks' is likely a wrong noun here; 'desk' (singular) fits the context. Ensure nouns match intended meaning and use singular/plural correctly.

× I feel much more relaxed and focused when my surrounding is organized.

✓ I feel much more relaxed and focused when my surroundings are organized.

The singular noun 'surrounding' should be plural 'surroundings' to refer to the environment. This fixes subject-noun agreement and matches common usage.

× I think tidiness shows good tendencies and discipline.

✓ I think tidiness shows good habits and discipline.

The noun 'tendencies' is awkward here; 'habits' better expresses repeated behaviors. Choose words that collocate naturally ('good habits and discipline').

× Definitely not. I was a bit of messy and spoiled when I was a kid.

✓ Definitely not. I was a bit messy and spoiled when I was a kid.

The phrase 'a bit of messy' improperly inserts 'of' before an adjective. Remove 'of' to use the adjective 'messy' correctly. The rest of the past tense 'was' is appropriate.

× Usually I only bother to clean my room if you were expecting visitors.

✓ Usually I only bothered to clean my room if we were expecting visitors.

The original mixes present 'usually' with conditional past 'you were'. For past habitual action, use past tense 'bothered' and match the subject: 'we were expecting visitors' or 'I was expecting visitors.' Using 'you' is inappropriate in this context.