Tidiness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is relevant and communicates the main reasons, but it has grammar mistakes, some awkward phrasing, and redundancy. To improve: 1) Start with a clear topic sentence (one short sentence). 2) Use correct verb forms and articles (e.g., “I am a tidy person” or “I can find things easily”). 3) Reduce redundancy by combining related ideas and use a linking word to connect reasons (e.g., “because” and “so”). 4) Keep the response to no more than 4–5 sentences. Specific fixes: change “if I can keep things tidy I can work effectively” to “keeping things tidy helps me work more effectively,” and “I can find it very easy” to “I can find things easily.”

예시: Yes, I do. Keeping things tidy helps me work more effectively because I can focus without distractions, and I can also find things easily when I need them. For example, when my desk is organised I complete tasks faster and don’t waste time looking for documents.

제안: Your response answers the question and gives a brief explanation of change over time, which is good. However, there are multiple grammar errors, awkward pronoun use, repetition, and unclear chronology. To improve: 1) Use past tense consistently when talking about childhood (e.g., “I wasn't very tidy”). 2) Avoid repetition (“asked me to asked me to”). 3) Use linking phrases to show contrast (e.g., “However,” “As I got older,” “now”). 4) Provide one specific example of how you changed (e.g., you started organising schoolwork). Keep it concise and natural (2–3 sentences).

예시: No, I wasn't very tidy as a child. My mother often asked me to clean my room, but I rarely did; however, as I got older I learned the benefits of organising my things, so now I try to keep my room neat and tidy.

× Yes, I like to do that because if I can keep things tidy I can work effectively and other than that when I am looking for something I can find it very easy if I am tidy person.

✓ Yes, I like to do that because if I keep things tidy I can work effectively, and also when I am looking for something I can find it very easily if I am a tidy person.

Errors: inconsistent verb forms and adverb/adjective usage. 'If I can keep things tidy' is conditional but simple present 'if I keep' is more natural for habitual situations. 'I can find it very easy' uses the adjective 'easy' incorrectly; use the adverb 'easily'. Missing article before 'tidy person' requires 'a tidy person'. Also add 'also' or 'and' to connect ideas and a comma to separate clauses for clarity. Suggestion: use simple present in conditional clauses for habitual facts, use adverbs to modify verbs, and include articles before singular countable nouns.

× When I was a child, I'm not too tidy person, my mother always asked me to asked me to room clean but it's not possible.

✓ When I was a child, I wasn't a very tidy person; my mother always asked me to clean my room, but it wasn't possible.

Errors: tense inconsistency and incorrect word order. 'I'm not' mixes present with past context; use past 'I wasn't'. Missing article before 'tidy person' requires 'a very tidy person' for natural emphasis. 'Asked me to asked me to room clean' repeats phrase and wrong word order; correct form is 'asked me to clean my room'. 'It's not possible' should be past 'it wasn't possible' to match past description. Suggestion: keep past tense consistently when describing past habits, place infinitive verb after 'asked me to', and use correct noun phrase order (clean my room).

× But us getting older I realized what my mother really wanted to say.

✓ But as I got older, I realized what my mother really wanted to say.

Errors: incorrect pronoun and tense. 'Us getting older' is incorrect; use 'as I got older' or 'as we got older' depending on subject. 'Getting' with 'us' doesn't fit the sentence; use past simple 'got' to match 'I realized'. Suggestion: use 'as' or 'when' + past simple for time clauses referring to change over time in the past, and use the correct subject pronoun 'I'.

× So I become a tidy person now.

✓ So I have become a tidy person now.

Errors: incorrect tense for a change that began in the past and has present relevance. 'I become' is wrong; use present perfect 'I have become' to indicate a change that has occurred and continues now. Alternatively, 'I became a tidy person' (past simple) is possible but present perfect fits 'now'. Suggestion: use present perfect for past actions with present results, and include 'a' before 'tidy person'.