Tidiness— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise, reduce repetition and filler words, and organize into a clear topic sentence plus one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Use correct grammar (e.g., 'a person who cannot', 'things are missing', 'I like things arranged neatly'). Aim for natural phrasing and varied vocabulary like 'organized' or 'neat'.

예시: Yes. I prefer to keep my space very tidy because I concentrate better in an organized environment. For example, I always arrange my books by subject and label storage boxes, which helps me find things quickly.

제안: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers and broken sentences. Give one or two specific supporting details with linking words (e.g., 'however' or 'but later'). Correct grammar: 'I wasn't tidy' or 'my books were everywhere'. Briefly contrast past and present if relevant.

예시: No, I wasn't tidy as a child. For instance, my books and clothes were scattered around the study area, but I learned to be more organized later when I started managing my own schedule.

× Yes, yes, I'm person who who cannot do anything if, for example, the room is not tidy or there's a lot of, uh, missing thing.

✓ Yes, yes, I'm a person who cannot do anything if, for example, the room is not tidy or there are a lot of things missing.

The original sentence omits the article 'a' before 'person' and repeats 'who'. It also uses 'there's' (there is) with a plural noun phrase 'a lot of things missing', which is a subject-verb agreement/pronoun number issue; use 'there are'. 'Missing thing' should be plural and placed after 'things' as 'things missing' for natural word order. Suggestion: include the article 'a', remove duplicate 'who', use 'there are', and pluralize 'thing' to 'things'.

× I'm a person who tied everything at the specific way and also, umm, at the ways that is arranged very carefully.

✓ I'm a person who ties everything in a specific way and also in ways that are arranged very carefully.

The speaker used 'tied' (past) instead of the habitual present 'ties' and incorrect prepositions 'at' with 'way'. 'Specific' should follow the article 'a' and be part of the noun phrase 'a specific way'. 'Ways that is' has subject-verb disagreement; 'ways' is plural so use 'are'. Suggestion: use present tense for habits ('ties'), use preposition 'in' with 'way', and match verb number to subject ('are').

× Actually, no, when I was a child, I, I was a very anti person, especially when I was studying and for example, when I was studying at umm, uh, the salon in uh, my house, uh, the book were everywhere and a lot of missing things, a lot of umm, clothes, for example, but.

✓ Actually, no. When I was a child, I was a very untidy person, especially when I was studying; for example, when I was studying in the living room of my house, the books were everywhere and many things were missing, and there were a lot of clothes everywhere.

Errors include inappropriate word choice 'anti person' (use 'untidy' or 'messy'), awkward repetition and run-on fragments. 'Studying at the salon' is unnatural; 'in the living room' or 'in my house' is clearer. 'The book were' has number disagreement; use 'books were'. 'A lot of missing things' is awkward; 'many things were missing' is clearer. Also add 'there were' for 'a lot of clothes' to form a complete clause. Suggestion: choose correct vocabulary ('untidy' or 'messy'), fix plural agreement, use 'were' consistently for past plural, and break into clearer sentences.