Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and grammatical. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler sounds (uh) and incorrect structures (e.g., "they both, is ice cream").

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. It was one of the few times my whole family—my parents and little sister—spent the day together, and we often played games and ate ice cream while walking until evening.

제안: Use a clear topic sentence and correct verb forms. Give a reason and a brief plan using linking words (however, because, so). Replace vague phrasing like "overtime I think that I will correct this situation" with a specific plan.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. However, because my child is very young, we don't visit as often as we would like, so I plan to start taking short weekly walks to get us used to being outdoors together.

제안: Make your opinion clear and correct word choice and sentence structure. Explain one or two specific benefits of more parks using linking words (because, for example). Avoid unclear phrases like "this stranger, the family institution."

예시: Yes, I would like to see more family-friendly parks in my city because they provide safe places for people to relax and for families to spend time together after work or school. For example, parks with playgrounds and picnic areas would encourage community activities.

제안: Good content and clear ambitions; tighten the response and use linking words to connect ideas. Reduce repetition and combine sentences to stay within the five-sentence limit. Add a brief reason why these parks appeal to you.

예시: Yes, I hope to visit Disneyland with my children in the future because I want them to meet the characters I loved as a child. I would also like to visit water parks in other countries to enjoy different attractions and make fun family memories.

× Oh yes, how when I was little, I really loved going to the park, uh, because it was the only time, uh, with my parents and I were together.

✓ Oh yes, when I was little, I really loved going to the park because it was the only time my parents and I were together.

The original has extra words ('how') and disrupted word order. 'My parents and I' is the correct subject order, and the clause 'because it was the only time...' should follow without extra fillers. Remove unnecessary fillers and place 'when I was little' at the start for clarity. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× It was a day off, a weekend, uh, with my little sister and I always played and had fun and they both, uh, is ice cream.

✓ It was a day off, a weekend, and my little sister and I always played and had fun, and we both ate ice cream.

Use 'my little sister and I' as subject, not 'and I' following a preposition without proper structure. 'They both' is incorrect; use 'we both'. The verb should be past tense 'ate' to match 'played' and 'had'. This corrects pronoun use and verb tense consistency. Grammar problem type ID: 12

× We walked until the night.

✓ We walked until night.

The phrase 'until the night' is unnatural; 'until night' or 'until it got dark' is more idiomatic. Keep past tense 'walked' consistent. This fixes collocation and natural phrasing. Grammar problem type ID: 5

× Oh yes, of course. Now my child and I also often to go the park, but because my child is a little younger we don't go as often as we would like.

✓ Oh yes, of course. Now my child and I also often go to the park, but because my child is a little younger we don't go as often as we would like.

Remove the extra infinitive marker 'to' after 'often'. Word order should be 'often go to the park'. Maintain pronoun consistency. This corrects incorrect verb form usage with adverb. Grammar problem type ID: 8

× But overtime I think that I will correct this situation.

✓ But over time I think that I will correct this situation.

The issue is a spelling/word choice: 'overtime' (one word) means extra work pay; 'over time' (two words) means gradually. Use 'over time'. The future tense 'I will correct' is acceptable. Grammar problem type ID: 7

× Yes, of course I would like to see as many amusement park for the whole family as possible in my city as this stranger, the family institution and many people after work or after school basically don't know what to do and park is the best solution.

✓ Yes, of course I would like to see as many amusement parks for the whole family as possible in my city because such places strengthen family bonds, and many people after work or after school often don't know what to do, so parks are the best solution.

Multiple issues: 'as many amusement park' needs plural 'amusement parks' (singular/plural). 'As this stranger, the family institution' is unclear; replaced with clear meaning 'because such places strengthen family bonds'. Use 'often' instead of 'basically' for adverb placement and naturalness. Change 'park is' to plural 'parks are' to agree with plural subject. Grammar problem type ID: 1

× Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?

✓ Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?

This sentence is correct as written; subject-verb agreement is proper ('Are there any parks...'). No correction needed. Grammar problem type ID: 27

× Oh, of course there are such parks.

✓ Oh, of course there are such parks.

The sentence is acceptable, but it is short and could be expanded for clarity. No grammar correction required. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× I strongly believe that in the future I will be able to visit Disneyland with my children, see it from the inside, and experience what it's like to look at all the characters I grew up with.

✓ I strongly believe that in the future I will be able to visit Disneyland with my children, see it from the inside, and experience what it's like to see all the characters I grew up with.

Use parallel verbs and clearer wording: 'experience what it's like to see' is more natural than 'to look at'. 'See it from the inside' is understandable; maintain future tense 'will be able to'. This improves verb choice and collocation. Grammar problem type ID: 7

× This is a very big dream for me.

✓ This is a very big dream for me.

Sentence is grammatically correct; no change needed. It fits the context. Grammar problem type ID: 26

× I would also like to visit many water parks that exist in different countries.

✓ I would also like to visit the many water parks that exist in different countries.

Add the definite article 'the' before 'many water parks' to indicate a specific group the speaker has in mind; without it the sentence is still acceptable but 'the many' sounds more natural when referring to parks worldwide. This corrects article/adjective usage. Grammar problem type ID: 17