Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct grammar (e.g., "instilled in me", "daily walks", "I was able to"). Avoid repetition and limit answer to 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes — I loved visiting parks with my grandmother. She instilled in me the habit of taking daily walks, and she often introduced me to her friends, which helped me become more confident talking to people. I have many happy memories of those afternoons.

제안: Improve grammar and fluency and remove filler words. Use linking words to connect ideas (e.g., "because", "so"). Be specific about activities and keep it within 3–4 sentences. Replace informal phrases like "chit chat" with "chat" or "catch up".

예시: Yes — parks help me relax and recharge after a busy day. I usually go in the evenings after my clinical duties, where I exercise and also catch up with friends, which helps me unwind.

제안: Use clearer sentence structure and correct grammar (e.g., "my city is already overcrowded", "many skyscrapers are being built, leaving little green space"). Provide one clear reason with a linking word and a brief result or suggestion. Avoid filler sounds like "uh".

예시: Yes — I would. My city is already overcrowded, and many new skyscrapers are being built, leaving very little green space. As a result, people have fewer places to walk or exercise, so I hope the city will create more parks.

제안: This answer is clear but can be slightly more specific and natural. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then add one or two concise details about why you want to visit (e.g., wildlife, scenery, activities). Use linking words like "because" or "so" and keep it to 2–3 sentences.

예시: Yes — I want to visit a natural park I saw on Facebook because it looked very large and is home to many native animals and birds. I would like to go there to observe wildlife and enjoy the scenery.

× She instilled me with this habit to go for daily walk.

✓ She instilled in me the habit of going for a daily walk.

The verb 'instill' requires the preposition 'in' when indicating who receives the habit. The phrase 'to go for daily walk' is unidiomatic: use the noun 'habit of' plus the gerund 'going' and include the article 'a' before 'daily walk'. Use of gerund after 'habit of' is correct.

× Moreover, she introduced me to her many friends so that I got able to develop my communication skill.

✓ Moreover, she introduced me to many of her friends so that I was able to develop my communication skills.

Word order and pronoun placement: 'many of her friends' is the natural expression. 'Got able' is incorrect; use 'was able' for ability in the past. 'Communication skill' should be plural 'communication skills' to refer to general ability. Also remove unnecessary 'her' before 'many friends' or use 'many of her friends'.

× Beside this, I had great time, time in my park and so many memories.

✓ Besides this, I had a great time in the park and many memories.

Use 'Besides' rather than 'Beside this' for adding information. Include the article 'a' with 'great time'. 'Time in my park' is unclear — use 'in the park'. Repetition of 'time' is redundant; simplify to 'a great time' and 'many memories'.

× Definitely going to park make me incredibly relaxed and mentally rejuvenated.

✓ Definitely going to the park makes me incredibly relaxed and mentally rejuvenated.

When the subject is a gerund phrase ('going to the park'), it takes a singular verb 'makes' (third person singular). Also include the definite article 'the' before 'park' for a specific activity and maintain parallel adjective order.

× I always go to the park in the evening hours after getting free from my hectic clinical schedule.

✓ I always go to the park in the evening after getting free from my hectic clinical schedule.

'Evening hours' is redundant; 'in the evening' is more natural. The article use is fine here; main change is style. 'Getting free from' is acceptable informally but 'finishing' or 'being free from' may be more natural; kept as 'getting free' to preserve meaning.

× This time I not only, uh, do some exercise to keep myself fit and healthy, but also do chit chat with my many friends.

✓ At that time I not only did some exercise to keep myself fit and healthy, but also chatted with many of my friends.

The original mixes tenses and awkward phrases. The surrounding context is past habitual ('I used to...'), so use past simple 'did' and 'chatted'. 'Chit chat' as a verb should be 'chatted' or 'had chit-chat'; 'my many friends' should be 'many of my friends'. Remove filler 'uh'.

× Definitely yes. My city already overcrowded.

✓ Definitely, yes. My city is already overcrowded.

The sentence 'My city already overcrowded' lacks a verb; add the copula 'is' to form the present state. Include a comma after 'Definitely' for clarity.

× Moreover uh lots of skyscrapers are being built in my city so leaving no green space behind.

✓ Moreover, lots of skyscrapers are being built in my city, leaving no green space behind.

The clause 'so leaving no green space behind' is awkward; use a participle clause 'leaving no green space behind' after a comma. Remove filler 'uh' and add comma after 'Moreover'. The meaning is preserved with present continuous passive 'are being built'.

× People are struggling to go for walk and do daily exercise in the open space and I really hopeful to get new green space in my city.

✓ People are struggling to go for walks and do daily exercise in open spaces and I am really hopeful that we will get new green spaces in my city.

'Go for walk' needs plural 'walks' or 'a walk'; 'open space' should be plural when general. 'I really hopeful' lacks the verb 'am'. To express hope for future provision, add 'that we will get' or 'to get' with proper subject. Also pluralize 'green space(s)' for consistency.

× I would like to visit a natural park I saw on Facebook.

✓ I would like to visit a natural park that I saw on Facebook.

Add the relative pronoun 'that' to connect the clauses clearly. The tense 'would like' (present conditional) is correct for future desire; 'saw' is past simple correctly describing when they saw the park.

× It looked very large and was home to many animals and birds, and it is a popular tourist attraction known for its indigenous species.

✓ It looked very large and was home to many animals and birds, and it is a popular tourist attraction known for its indigenous species.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable; no correction needed. The sequence of tenses is coherent: 'looked' and 'was' describe past impression, and 'is' indicates current status. No change required.