Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and use correct tense and sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence (Yes, I loved going to parks as a child.), then add one or two specific supporting details using linking words (for example, because/such as). Avoid redundancy and grammatical mistakes.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, I lived near the Summer Palace in Beijing, so I visited it every few days to play and explore the gardens, which left me with unforgettable memories.

제안: Give a direct topic sentence and then specific examples with correct prepositions and clearer phrasing. Use linking words (for instance, however) to show frequency or contrast. Avoid unclear names or phrases and fix grammar (e.g., 'not much has changed' or 'I still enjoy parks').

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. For instance, I regularly visit Shakespeare Park and sometimes go to One Tree Hill Park; however, I go to parks in North, Central, and South Auckland less often due to my busy schedule.

제안: Answer directly and avoid irrelevant details. State your preference and give one clear reason why more parks are desirable, with a specific example. Do not mention unrelated conditions (like buying a car). Use correct nouns and adjectives (e.g., 'large public forest').

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in Auckland because they provide green space and improve residents' well-being. For example, another regional park with a large public forest and walking trails would encourage outdoor activities and make the city greener.

제안: Keep focus on future plans and be specific about the park you want to visit. Avoid mixing past reading habits with unclear place names; use correct names and simple descriptions. Provide one reason why you want to go and one expected impression. Use clear linking words (because/so).

예시: Yes, I would like to visit Hoan Kiem Lake (Hồ Hoàn Kiếm) in Hanoi in the future because I have read about its beautiful scenery and historical significance. I think its peaceful atmosphere and historic sites will be amazing to see in person.

× Yes, my favorite hobby is when I was a child was going to the park.

✓ Yes, my favorite hobby when I was a child was going to the park.

The original sentence has redundant verbs 'is' and 'was' causing a structural error. Remove the incorrect 'is' so the sentence correctly places the time clause 'when I was a child' next to 'favorite hobby'. Suggestion: Place time expressions next to the noun they modify and avoid duplicate linking verbs.

× For example, I lived near the Summer Palace in Beijing when I was a kid.

✓ For example, I lived near the Summer Palace in Beijing when I was a kid.

This sentence is grammatically correct and uses past tense appropriately for a childhood situation. No change needed.

× I loved to go there once in a few days.

✓ I loved going there every few days.

Use the gerund 'going' after 'loved' for habitual past actions; 'to go' is also acceptable but 'loved going' sounds more natural. 'Once in a few days' is awkward; use 'every few days' to express frequency.

× It's unforgettable memory for me.

✓ It's an unforgettable memory for me.

This sentence is missing the article 'an' before the singular countable noun 'unforgettable memory'. Adding 'an' corrects the sentence structure.

× Yes, this hasn't changed to a large extent.

✓ Yes, this hasn't changed to a large extent.

The present perfect negative 'hasn't changed' correctly indicates a continuing situation from past to present. No correction needed.

× I still go to the Shakespeare Park as far as the One Tree Hill Park and more less often the Total park in North Central and South Auckland respectively.

✓ I still go to Shakespeare Park, One Tree Hill Park, and, less often, Totara Park in North, Central and South Auckland, respectively.

Original has awkward phrasing 'as far as' and 'more less often' and likely a park name error 'Total park'. Use a parallel list structure with commas, place 'less often' in appropriate position, correct park name to 'Totara Park' (common NZ park) if intended, and list regions clearly. This fixes preposition and adverb placement and improves clarity.

× Yes, I would definitely like to see more parks than my city, Auckland.

✓ Yes, I would definitely like to see more parks in my city, Auckland.

The preposition 'than' is incorrect here; use 'in' to indicate location. 'See more parks in my city' correctly expresses the desire to have more parks located in Auckland.

× I would like to go through the winter home Regional Park, the ***** Regional Park as far as the water care ranges which has a huge big public forest.

✓ I would like to visit Winterholm Regional Park and ***** Regional Park, as well as the water catchment reserves, which have a large public forest.

Multiple issues: 'go through' is odd—use 'visit'; 'winter home' should be capitalized and combined if it's a proper name (here 'Winterholm'); 'as far as' is incorrect for listing additional places—use 'as well as'; 'water care ranges' is likely 'water catchment reserves'; subject-verb agreement: 'reserves' requires 'have' not 'has'; 'huge big' is redundant—use 'large' or 'huge'. These changes correct verb choice, prepositions, noun phrases, and agreement.

× If I just get the new Lexus car.

✓ If I could get a new Lexus car, I would go.

Original is a sentence fragment without a main clause and mixes tense/modal meaning. Conditional sentences require both clauses. Use 'If I could get a new Lexus car' (conditional) and add a main clause like 'I would go' to complete the thought.

× Yes, when I was a kid, I enjoyed reading travel books.

✓ Yes, when I was a kid, I enjoyed reading travel books.

This sentence correctly uses past tense to describe a childhood habit. No change needed.

× I was particularly impressed by the Huang Kim Lake Park, which is known as the Lack of returns, World Park in English and Hanoi.

✓ I was particularly impressed by Huang Kim Lake Park, which is known in English as 'Lake of Returns World Park' in Hanoi.

The original word order and names are confused. Use 'known in English as' to introduce the English name. Place the park name clearly and indicate location 'in Hanoi'. If the exact English name is 'Lake of Returns World Park', put it in sequence. This fixes word order and clarity.

× They can flop Vietnam.

✓ It is in Vietnam.

Original 'They can flop Vietnam' is ungrammatical and unclear. Likely intended meaning is 'It is in Vietnam' or 'It is located in Vietnam'. Use a clear copular sentence to state location.

× The beautiful image took my breath away.

✓ The beautiful scenery took my breath away.

'Image' is an odd choice here; 'scenery' or 'view' is more natural when describing a park's appearance. Use correct noun choice to convey the intended meaning.