Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the answer grammatically correct, more concise and use linking words. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one or two specific supporting details (activities, frequency) using linking words like “and” or “because.” Avoid filler phrases such as “you know.”

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My friends and I often spent whole afternoons there playing on slides and swings, and we sometimes had picnics because our parents wanted us to play outdoors.

제안: Correct grammar and improve coherence: use a clear topic sentence, then explain reasons with linking words like “especially” and “because.” Replace vague phrases like “pressure” repetition with “stress.” Keep to 1–3 sentences and avoid hesitations (“you know”).

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks, especially at weekends. I often lie on the grass to relax because being in nature helps me relieve stress after a busy week.

제안: Give a direct opinion and then one clear, specific reason. Avoid unclear or run-on sentences; use linking words like “because” or “so.” Replace vague or awkward phrases (e.g., “climb around,” “forget all the assignment study”) with concrete benefits such as cleaner air, more space to relax, and better community life.

예시: Yes, I would. More parks would improve air quality and give people more space to relax, so residents could escape busy streets and reduce stress from work or study.

제안: Be specific about why you want to visit: mention particular features (views, gardens, activities) and use correct grammar. Limit to 2–3 concise sentences and use linking words like “because” or “because of.” Remove filler words and correct phrasing such as “I have so many” which is unclear.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit Sheng Wu Park because it is famous for its panoramic views and well-kept flower gardens. I have seen many travel blogs and pictures online that make me want to see it in person.

× When I was a child, I really like to go to parks, play with my best friends.

✓ When I was a child, I really liked going to parks and playing with my best friends.

The sentence refers to a past time ('When I was a child'), so verbs should be in the past tense. Change 'like' to 'liked' and use gerunds 'going' and 'playing' to link the activities naturally. Also add 'and' to connect the verbs correctly.

× We often spend the whole afternoon in the parks and you know, there are many public facilities like Slide that we can play.

✓ We often spent the whole afternoon in the parks, and there were many public facilities like slides that we could play on.

Because the context is childhood (past), use past tense: 'spend' -> 'spent', 'are' -> 'were', 'can' -> 'could'. 'Slide' should be plural 'slides' and the correct preposition is 'play on'. Also add a comma and conjunction for clarity.

× Nowadays I still like going to park and especially at the weekends and you know, when I feel pressure, I think when to parks and lie on the grass is the best way for me to relax pressure.

✓ Nowadays I still like going to parks, especially on weekends, and when I feel stressed, going to parks and lying on the grass is the best way for me to relax.

Use 'parks' plural and 'on weekends' for natural phrasing. 'Feel pressure' is unnatural; use 'feel stressed.' The gerund forms 'going' and 'lying' are required as subjects of 'is.' Remove redundancy 'relax pressure' and replace with 'relax.' Also ensure consistent present tense.

× I think if there are more parks in the city, which may make the city more become more like a forest that I can climb around in all the parks that I can forget all the assignment study and everything that makes me feel.

✓ I think if there were more parks in the city, it would make the city feel more like a forest where I could walk around and forget about assignments, studying, and everything that stresses me.

The conditional requires past subjunctive 'were' and modal result 'would.' Remove redundant 'more become more.' 'Climb around in all the parks' is awkward; 'walk around' works better. Use 'forget about assignments, studying' for clarity and 'everything that stresses me' instead of 'everything that makes me feel.' Fix sentence flow and structure.

× Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?

✓ Are there any parks you want to go to in the future?

This question is already grammatically correct and fits the future context. No correction needed.

× I really want to go to Sheng Wu Park in the future.

✓ I really want to go to Sheng Wu Park in the future.

The sentence is grammatically correct; no article change is needed because the park name is a proper noun. No correction required.

× It's a park with the fantastic view I have.

✓ It's a park with a fantastic view.

The original phrase 'the fantastic view I have' is awkward and unnecessary. Use 'a fantastic view' to describe the park. The possessive 'I have' is not needed and makes the sentence ungrammatical.

× I have so many. I have seen many like blog in the on the Internet which really appeals to me.

✓ I have seen many blogs and posts about it on the Internet, which really appeal to me.

Combine fragments into a single sentence. Use 'blogs' plural and 'posts' if needed, and correct word order: 'on the Internet.' 'Appeals' must agree with plural 'blogs and posts,' so use 'appeal.' Remove 'I have so many' fragment.