Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response more natural and grammatically correct by using a clear topic sentence, linking words, and concise supporting details. Correct tense and articles, avoid repetition, and keep to 3–4 sentences. Add a specific example to make it more vivid.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often played football with my friends there almost every weekend, which helped me stay active. Also, spending time outdoors relaxed me after a busy day because the fresh air and open space felt refreshing.

제안: Clarify meaning and fix grammar and vocabulary. Start with a direct topic sentence, explain reasons with linking words (however, because), and give one clear example. Avoid unclear phrases like "is steal my cup."

예시: I don't go to parks much now because I am busy with work and study. However, I prefer going to proper football fields when I want to play with a friend because they have better facilities. When I do have free time, I sometimes visit a nearby park to relax.

제안: Use correct articles and plurals, and make the point more concise with linking words. Provide a specific benefit or example to strengthen the answer (e.g., types of facilities or locations).

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because they provide safe play areas for children instead of staying on their phones. In addition, parks with many trees help reduce air pollution and improve local air quality, which benefits residents' health.

제안: Fix vocabulary and clarity: use 'park' not 'pub' and ensure place names are clear. Start with a direct response, mention a specific park or type of park, and explain why with a brief supporting reason. Avoid unclear phrases like 'reduce threat.'

예시: At the moment I am too busy with work and study, but in the future I plan to arrange a day out with my friends to visit a local park. For example, we might go to the large riverside park because it has walking trails and sports areas where we can relax without using our phones.

× Absolutely yes. I like it.

✓ Absolutely yes. I liked it.

The question asks about liking parks as a child (past time). Use past tense 'liked' to match the time reference. Suggestion: Align verb tense to the time frame in the question (use past tense when referring to childhood).

× Going to the park when I was younger because I could play football then with my friends almost every weekend.

✓ I went to the park when I was younger because I could play football with my friends almost every weekend.

This fragment lacks a subject and finite verb at the start; it should be a complete sentence. Also remove redundant 'then' after 'football'. Suggestion: Begin with subject 'I' and proper past tense verb 'went' to form a complete sentence and keep modifiers concise.

× It was also a great place to reduce stress and boost my feeling after a busy day.

✓ It was also a great place to reduce stress and boost my mood after a busy day.

'Feeling' as a noun is vague here; native usage prefers 'mood'. Use 'boost my mood' to convey emotional improvement. Suggestion: Choose collocations common in English (boost my mood, reduce stress).

× Now I have no time to go to park because of the work and study.

✓ Now I have no time to go to the park because of work and study.

When referring to a specific place like 'the park', include the definite article 'the'. Also omit 'the' before uncountable nouns 'work' and 'study'. Suggestion: Use 'the park' and 'work and study' without articles for general activities.

× Moreover, the football fields where I can play footballs with a friend is better than the park.

✓ Moreover, the football fields where I can play football with a friend are better than the park.

Subject-verb agreement requires plural verb 'are' with plural subject 'football fields'. Also 'footballs' is incorrect: 'play football' uses the uncountable/sport noun. Suggestion: Use 'play football' and match verb number to subject.

× But when I'm free go to into the park is steal my cup.

✓ But when I'm free, going to the park is my favorite thing to do.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and unclear ('go to into', 'is steal my cup' are incorrect). Rewritten to express intended meaning: when free, the student goes to the park and enjoys it. Suggestion: Use a clear structure: 'When I'm free, I go to the park' or 'Going to the park is my favorite thing to do.'

× I think more park in my city can create area for children where they can play instead of using the phone.

✓ I think more parks in my city could create areas for children where they can play instead of using their phones.

Use plural 'parks' and 'areas' to match 'more'; add modal 'could' for polite suggestion; 'their phones' is correct possessive plural for children. Suggestion: Match singular/plural and use appropriate possessive pronoun.

× Moreover, parks with many trees can reduce pollution so people in this area can breathe more.

✓ Moreover, parks with many trees can reduce pollution so people in the area can breathe more easily.

Use 'in the area' (not 'this area' unless referring to a specific nearby area) and adverb 'easily' to modify 'breathe'. Suggestion: Use appropriate preposition 'in the area' and an adverb for clarity.

× Right now I have no time to go any pub because of the work and study, but in the future I will try to schedule a plan with my friends to go to talcum park to reduce threat instead of using my phone.

✓ Right now I have no time to go to any park because of work and study, but in the future I will try to make plans with my friends to go to a local park to relax instead of using my phone.

Replace 'go any pub' with 'go to any park' to match context; omit 'the' before 'work and study'; 'schedule a plan' is redundant—use 'make plans'; 'talcum park' seems incorrect—use 'a local park'; 'reduce threat' is incorrect in context—likely meant 'relax'. Suggestion: Use natural collocations ('make plans', 'a local park', 'relax') and correct articles.