Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and use a clear topic sentence. Keep it concise (max 5 sentences), use correct tense and simple vocabulary to describe memory, and add one specific detail. Link ideas with a simple connector if needed.

예시: Yes, I liked going to parks when I was a child. I grew up in a small village, so the local park was one of the few places I could play outside. I often climbed trees and played tag with my friends, which made it a very happy place for me.

제안: Give a clear direct answer then briefly explain reasons with correct grammar and linking words. Avoid fillers and repetition. Limit to 2–4 sentences and include a specific condition or example.

예시: Not really. As an adult I rarely go to parks because I prefer exercising at the gym and I have less free time. However, if I become a parent, I would visit parks to spend time with my child and let them play outdoors.

제안: Start with a direct response, then give two specific reasons linked with simple connectors. Use precise vocabulary (air quality, relaxation, recreation) and avoid repetition.

예시: Yes, I would. Parks improve air quality and provide green space for relaxation. In addition, they offer recreational areas where families can exercise and children can play.

제안: Answer directly and use correct grammar (e.g., "I want to visit parks in England"). Give a specific reason and one example of a park or type of scenery you expect to see. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and avoid hesitation words.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit parks in England. I expect the landscapes to be quite different from my home, with historic gardens and large, well-kept lawns like those in Hyde Park or Kew Gardens.

× And actually, I don't remember the when I was child gold Spark because I was, I was. Magnetic grow up the village so it's.

✓ Actually, I don't remember when I was a child because I grew up in a village.

The sentence has multiple sentence structure and word choice problems: unnecessary filler words ('gold Spark', 'Magnetic') and repetition ('I was, I was') create confusion. Use correct article 'a child' and correct past tense verb 'grew up' with the preposition 'in' for locations. Remove unrelated words to form a clear sentence. Suggestion: simplify to 'I don't remember when I was a child because I grew up in a village.'

× No, because I'm adult now, Uh, so I don't like to going park.

✓ No, because I'm an adult now, so I don't like going to parks.

Errors include missing article before 'adult' (use 'an adult'), incorrect verb form 'to going' (should be gerund 'going' after 'like'), and missing preposition and plural for 'park' in this context ('going to parks' or 'going to the park'). Maintain present simple tense for general preference. Suggestion: use 'I'm an adult now' and 'I don't like going to parks.'

× Uh, maybe, uh, when I became a parents, uh, just for my child, uh, we, I can go, but now I don't like it.

✓ Maybe when I become a parent, I will go to parks with my child, but I don't like them now.

Problems: incorrect tense 'became' should be future 'become' to match hypothetical future; 'a parents' incorrect article/number should be 'a parent'; modal and future construction better expressed as 'I will' or 'I would' depending on certainty. Also clarify subject and plural 'them' for parks. Suggestion: use 'When I become a parent, I will go to parks with my child.'

× Of course, because the parks are the parks are really good for nature and good air, relaxing and other things.

✓ Of course, because parks are really good for nature, provide good air, and are relaxing among other benefits.

Repetition 'the parks are the parks are' is redundant. Using 'the' before 'parks' is unnecessary when speaking generally; use plural 'parks' without the definite article. Also improve parallelism and clarity by turning fragments into full clauses. Suggestion: 'Parks are really good for nature, provide good air, and are relaxing.'

× Yeah, uh, I was, uh, I want to go, uh, England's parks because, uh, the nature are different, uh, and exhausted.

✓ Yes, I want to visit parks in England because the nature is different and refreshing.

Mixed tenses: 'I was' is incorrect and unnecessary; use present 'I want' for current desire. 'England's parks' is awkward—use 'parks in England'. Subject-verb agreement: 'the nature are' should be 'the nature is' or better 'the scenery/nature is'. 'Exhausted' is incorrect adjective for nature; likely meant 'refreshing' or 'beautiful'. Suggestion: 'I want to visit parks in England because the nature is different and refreshing.'