Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar, use a clear topic sentence and one or two supporting details with linking words. Avoid fillers (uh) and incorrect word choices (e.g., 'leverage'). Also fix tense and article errors: say 'when I was a child' and 'play outdoors' or 'do outdoor activities.'

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often played with my friends there after school, especially in the evenings, because the cooler weather made outdoor games more enjoyable.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence and then a specific reason. Reduce repetition and correct grammar (e.g., 'I am a person who loves being in the lap of nature'; 'I can't imagine life without going to the park'). Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' to connect ideas and keep answer within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because they help me relax after a hectic day. For example, I often walk there in the evening to clear my mind and unwind, which improves my mood and sleep.

제안: Start with a direct answer and give two specific reasons with linking words. Remove hesitations and correct grammar: 'people are getting more into technology and forgetting to go outside' and 'more recreational areas would encourage families to spend time outdoors.'

예시: Yes, I would. More parks would encourage people who spend too much time on technology to go outside, and they would provide safe recreational spaces where families can exercise and spend quality time together.

제안: Answer directly and give specific details: name a park or describe its features. Correct informal language ('wanna') and repetition. Use linking words ('for example', 'also') and fix grammar: 'there are a few parks I haven't visited in Surrey' and 'they have playgrounds for children.'

예시: Yes, there are a few parks in Surrey I'd like to visit, such as [name a park]. For example, some of them have attractive landscapes and several playgrounds for children, which makes them perfect for family visits.

× I loved to go to the park when I was child.

✓ I loved to go to the park when I was a child.

Missing indefinite article before singular noun 'child'. English requires 'a' with singular countable nouns in this context. Include 'a' to make it 'a child'.

× that is the best time that I leverage in the outdoor activities.

✓ that was the best time when I engaged in outdoor activities.

'Leverage' is incorrect here; native phrasing requires a verb meaning 'use/spend time' with past reference. Use 'engaged in' plus plural 'outdoor activities'. Also change 'is' to 'was' to match past tense 'I loved' and maintain consistent tense.

× Without any doubt yes I love to go to the parks even now as I am person who love to in being in in lap of the nature and I can't imagine my life after without going to the park in the evenings after my hectic day and it's helped me a lot to relax and unwind.

✓ Without any doubt, I love going to the parks even now, as I am a person who loves being in the lap of nature, and I can't imagine my life without going to the park in the evenings after a hectic day because it helps me relax and unwind.

Multiple issues: missing articles ('a person', 'the lap of nature' -> 'the lap of nature' acceptable but 'lap of nature' often 'the lap of nature'); subject-verb agreement 'love'->'loves'; incorrect word order 'to in being in in' corrected to 'being'; unnecessary 'after' removed; tense consistency changed from 'it's helped' (awkward) to 'it helps' to express habitual present. Also added commas for clarity.

× they forgetting to be in outside, uh, and I think, uh, bike, uh, having a more recreational area, especially in the cities, people are encouraged to go out with their children and spend the, their time, uh, effectively.

✓ they are forgetting to be outside, and I think having more recreational areas, especially in cities, would encourage people to go out with their children and spend their time effectively.

Fixed verb form 'forgetting' needs auxiliary 'are'; preposition 'in outside' should be 'outside'; 'having a more recreational area' -> 'having more recreational areas' (plural) and clearer subject; added 'would' to express result; removed unnecessary commas and filler words. Adjusted word order for natural English.

× these parks are quite, uh, attractive, uh, because it draws many people's intention.

✓ these parks are quite attractive because they draw many people's attention.

'It draws' is incorrect because the subject 'these parks' is plural, so the verb should be 'draw'. Also 'attention' is the correct noun, not 'intention'. Removed filler 'uh' and extra commas.

× Yes, there are few parks in Surrey that I haven't visited yet visited yet, but I wanna go in there in future because these parks are quite, uh, attractive, uh, because it draws many people's intention.

✓ Yes, there are a few parks in Surrey that I haven't visited yet, but I want to go there in the future because these parks are quite attractive and they draw many people's attention.

Added 'a' in 'a few parks' for the intended meaning (some); removed duplicate 'visited yet'; 'wanna' -> 'want to'; 'go in there' -> 'go there'; added 'the' before 'future'; fixed subject-verb agreement 'draw' and 'attention' as above; removed fillers and extra commas.

× Apart from that, these, uh, ha, these parts has uh, several ground playgrounds specially for the children.

✓ Apart from that, these parks have several playgrounds on the grounds, especially for children.

Corrected 'parts' to 'parks' (likely typo). 'Has' -> 'have' to agree with plural subject 'parks'. Changed awkward phrase 'ground playgrounds' to 'playgrounds on the grounds' or simply 'playgrounds'; 'specially for the children' -> 'especially for children' is more natural. Removed filler sounds.