Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Câu trả lời có ý tưởng rõ ràng nhưng cần tự nhiên hơn và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp thì thì quá khứ/hiện tại. Tránh bắt đầu bằng cụm từ không liên quan (“But I was a child”). Nên mở đầu trực tiếp, dùng thì phù hợp, tách câu dài thành 2 câu tối đa và thêm một liên từ để mạch lạc.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I enjoyed playing on the swings and having picnics with my family because the fresh air and green trees made them relaxing places.

제안: Câu trả lời ngắn gọn, mạch lạc và phù hợp. Có thể cải thiện bằng cách thêm một linking word ngắn để kết nối ý và dùng một cấu trúc thay thế cho tránh lặp từ (‘because’ xuất hiện một lần là OK nhưng có thể thay đổi). Giữ độ dài không quá 5 câu.

예시: Yes, I do. I usually visit the park every weekend and occasionally go after work when I feel exhausted, as walking there helps me relax and clear my mind.

제안: Rất tốt về nội dung, cụ thể và có lý do rõ ràng. Có thể rút gọn một chút để tự nhiên hơn và dùng một linking word khác để đa dạng (ví dụ: 'therefore' hoặc 'so'). Tránh câu quá dài; chia thành hai câu nếu cần.

예시: Yes, I would. There are only a few parks at the moment and the nearest is five kilometres from my apartment, so it’s hard to visit without driving. Therefore, having more parks within walking distance would help people exercise and relax more easily.

제안: Câu trả lời có ý nhưng có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp, cấu trúc rời rạc và lỗi lặp từ (‘is is’), thiếu tên công viên chính xác và miêu tả không rõ ràng. Cần sửa ngữ pháp, dùng tên đúng (e.g. Central Park), và sắp xếp các chi tiết theo thứ tự logic (why, what, where). Giữ tối đa 3 câu.</br>

예시: Yes, I’d love to visit Central Park in New York. It’s one of the largest urban parks in the world and features a large lake and beautiful riverside scenery, which I think would be wonderful to see in person.

× But I was a child. I enjoy going to parks, I like playing on the swings and having picnics with my family because the fresh air and green trees made a fun place to relax.

✓ I enjoyed going to parks when I was a child. I liked playing on the swings and having picnics with my family because the fresh air and green trees made it a fun place to relax.

The original contains tense inconsistency and comma splice. 'But I was a child' is unnecessary and mismatched with present tense 'I enjoy'; the context asks about childhood, so past tense should be used (present -> past). Also two independent clauses are joined with a comma (comma splice). Use past tense verbs 'enjoyed' and 'liked' and combine or separate clauses correctly. Suggestion: use past tense consistently and separate sentences properly.

× Yes I do, I usually go to the park every weekend and sometimes after work when I feel exhausted because walking there helps me relax and clear my mind.

✓ Yes, I do. I usually go to the park every weekend and sometimes after work when I feel exhausted because walking there helps me relax and clear my mind.

Main issue is punctuation and sentence boundary rather than verb tense, but present tense use is correct. Add a comma after 'Yes' and separate into two sentences to avoid run-on. Maintain present simple 'go' and 'helps' for habitual actions. Suggestion: punctuate 'Yes, I do.' then continue with the habitual description.

× Yes, I'd like more parks in my city because there are only a few of them at the moment and the nearest one to my apartment is 5 kilometers away.

✓ Yes, I'd like more parks in my city because there are only a few at the moment and the nearest one to my apartment is 5 kilometers away.

'A few of them' is wordy and slightly awkward; not strictly ungrammatical but can be simplified to 'a few'. Suggestion: remove 'of them' for conciseness. No tense change needed.

× That makes it difficult to visit unless I drive, so having more parks within walking distance would help people exercise and relax more easily.

✓ That makes it difficult to visit unless I drive, so having more parks within walking distance would help people exercise and relax more easily.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable. No changes needed. Ensure clarity and parallelism: 'exercise and relax' is fine. Included here to indicate no error per provided list.

× Yes, I want to go to New York the park in the New York Center because it is is one of the largest park in the world, with a Big Lake and beautiful scenery along the side of the river of the.

✓ Yes, I want to go to the park in New York City because it is one of the largest parks in the world, with a big lake and beautiful scenery along the riverside.

Multiple errors: word order and redundancy ('New York the park in the New York Center' is confused), repeated word 'is is', singular/plural mismatch 'one of the largest park' should be 'parks', unnecessary capitalization 'Big Lake', and awkward phrase 'along the side of the river of the.' Correct by ordering place name properly ('park in New York City'), remove duplicate 'is', change 'park' to plural 'parks' after 'one of the', use lowercase for common nouns, and replace 'along the side of the river of the' with 'along the riverside' or 'along the side of the river'. Suggestion: keep place names clear, check plural after 'one of the', avoid repetition, and use standard collocations like 'riverside'.