Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be careful with grammar, word choice and sentence structure. Start with a clear topic sentence, use past tense consistently, reduce repetition, and add one specific detail. Link ideas with simple connectors (for example, 'and', 'so', 'because').

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went there with my grandfather because he enjoyed walking, and we would walk around our neighborhood every morning. I especially remember feeding ducks by the pond, which was my favorite part.

제안: Keep the answer concise and natural. Use full words instead of contractions like 'cause' and avoid filler words ('like'). Use linking words ('because', 'so') and give one specific example of what you do in parks to relax.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because I need time to relax and clear my mind. For example, I often sit on a bench and read for an hour, which helps me reduce stress and feel refreshed.

제안: Make complete, grammatical sentences and avoid hesitations ('umm'). State your main reason first, then add a specific supporting detail and a linking phrase. Finish your thought instead of trailing off.

예시: Definitely. More parks would provide more opportunities for people to exercise and relax, which would improve both physical and mental health. For instance, new parks could include walking paths and quiet gardens for meditation.

제안: Very good answer: clear, specific and coherent. To improve further, tighten a couple of phrases (use active verbs) and avoid 'I have heard' if you can state personal expectation or reason. Keep it within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I want to visit an eco-park near Huntington City that is about two hours away. I expect to enjoy its well-maintained trails and native plants, and I plan to relax there and take photos of the scenery.

× Without a doubt when it was a tried, I often go to park with my grandparent grandpa who's really into walking.

✓ Without a doubt, when I was a child, I often went to the park with my grandfather, who was really into walking.

The sentence mixes present and incorrect expressions for past habits. Use past tense 'was' and 'went' to describe habitual actions in childhood. 'It was a tried' is incorrect and unclear; replace with 'I was a child'. Use 'the park' for a specific place, and 'grandfather' instead of the repeated 'grandparent grandpa'. Suggestion: Use simple past for past routines (e.g., 'I often went to the park with my grandfather').

× So every morning I walking with I was walking with him around my neighborhood in the parks as well.

✓ So every morning I walked with him around my neighborhood and to the parks as well.

The clause combines present participle 'walking' and past progressive 'was walking', creating confusion. For habitual past actions, use simple past 'walked'. Streamline redundant phrases and use plural 'parks' only if relevant; otherwise 'the park' or 'parks' consistently. Suggestion: Use 'I walked with him every morning around my neighborhood and to the parks.'

× Yes, absolutely 'cause I still want to have more time for myself to relax and let my hair down which really helps me in releasing stress and like I can breathe without thinking everything.

✓ Yes, absolutely, because I still want more time for myself to relax and let my hair down, which really helps me release stress and breathe without overthinking everything.

Use present simple for general present preferences: 'I still want'. 'Cause' should be written as 'because' in formal speech. 'Helps me in releasing stress' is less natural than 'helps me release stress'. 'Breathe without thinking everything' is ungrammatical; use 'breathe without overthinking everything' or 'without thinking about everything'. Suggestion: Keep verbs in base form after 'helps' and use clear expressions like 'overthinking'.

× Definitely 'cause when there's more park it's good be more activities for people to do there.

✓ Definitely, because when there are more parks, it's good because there are more activities for people to do there.

'There is' uses singular; 'park' should be plural 'parks' so use 'there are'. Also 'it's good be more activities' is ungrammatical—use 'there are more activities' or 'it's good because there are more activities'. Maintain subject-verb agreement with plural nouns. Suggestion: Use 'there are' with plural nouns and restructure to 'because there are more activities'.

× Not only umm physical but also mental umm activities which really umm improve their health.

✓ Not only physical but also mental activities, which really improve people's health.

The sentence fragments and fillers 'umm' should be removed for clarity. 'Which really umm improve their health' should be a relative clause modifying 'activities'; use 'which really improve people's health' for clarity and correct plural agreement. Avoid informal fillers in formal responses. Suggestion: Combine into a complete sentence: 'They provide not only physical but also mental activities, which really improve people's health.'

× Other reason is that it's also.

✓ Another reason is that parks also provide social spaces and improve community well-being.

Original sentence is incomplete ('it's also.'), missing an object or clause. Complete the idea by specifying what 'it's also' refers to. Provide a full clause to convey meaning. Suggestion: Always complete sentences by stating what 'also' refers to, e.g., 'Another reason is that they also provide...'.

× Yes, there's an eco park near Huntington City that I would love to visit.

✓ Yes, there's an eco-park near Huntington City that I would love to visit.

Grammatically this sentence is mostly correct, but 'eco park' is better written as 'eco-park' or 'eco park' depending on style; no tense change needed. Kept 'there's' for singular place. Clarified hyphenation. Suggestion: Use consistent compound noun spelling like 'eco-park'.

× It's about two hours from my town and I have heard it's very scenic with well maintained trails and lots of native plants, which makes it a perfect place to relax and take photos.

✓ It's about two hours from my town, and I have heard it's very scenic with well-maintained trails and lots of native plants, which makes it a perfect place to relax and take photos.

The sentence is mostly correct. Hyphenate 'well-maintained' when used as a compound adjective before a noun. No tense changes needed; present perfect 'I have heard' is appropriate for recent information. Suggestion: Use hyphens in compound adjectives: 'well-maintained trails'.