Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific supporting detail using a linking word. Correct grammar (articles, verb forms) and avoid redundancy.

예시: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks as a child. For example, whenever I felt tired I would ride my bicycle along the tree-lined paths, which helped me relax and enjoy the fresh air.

제안: Remove filler words and correct grammar. Give a clear frequency phrase and one specific reason using a linking word to make it coherent.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. I usually visit a nearby park once a week because walking there helps me clear my mind and get some exercise.

제안: Use correct grammar and be specific about why more parks are needed. Avoid vague or incorrect words. Provide one clear reason with a linking word and an example.

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because there are many children and families who need safe places to play. For instance, additional playgrounds would reduce overcrowding in the few existing parks.

제안: Give a specific park or type of park you want to visit and state a clear future intention. Use correct tense and remove hesitations. Use a linking word to explain why you want to go.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit the botanical garden nearby in the future because it has beautiful themed gardens and peaceful walking routes, which I think I will enjoy as an adult.

× Yes, when I was tired I did like going to park because I always wanted to ride a bicycle in parks and enjoy the atmosphere.

✓ Yes, when I was tired I did like going to go to the park because I always wanted to ride a bicycle in parks and enjoy the atmosphere.

The phrase 'going to park' is missing the definite article 'the' when referring to a specific type of place (park) in general habit contexts. Use 'go to the park'. Also 'did like going to go to the park' corrects the redundant structure: the original used 'did like going to park' – improved to 'did like going to the park'. Suggestion: use 'the' before singular countable nouns when speaking about a specific or familiar place.

× Yes, uh, I still like to go into park now, so I often go to park with once a week.

✓ Yes, uh, I still like to go to the park now, so I often go to the park about once a week.

Two article errors and an adverbial/method phrase problem: 'go into park' should be 'go to the park'; 'go to park with once a week' is ungrammatical — use 'about once a week' and repeat 'the park' or use 'there'. Also 'go to' is the correct verb+preposition. Suggestion: use 'go to the park' and express frequency as 'once a week' or 'about once a week'.

× Yes, I think I would like to see more park in my city because in my city there are many children, so the government made a rudder park in.

✓ Yes, I think I would like to see more parks in my city because there are many children, so the government should build more playgrounds.

Several issues: 'more park' needs plural 'parks' (article/number). 'Made a rudder park in' is unclear and ungrammatical; likely intended meaning is 'build playgrounds' or 'create parks'. I replaced with 'should build more playgrounds' to fit meaning and grammatical structure. Also removed redundant 'in my city' repetition. Suggestion: use plural for 'more' + noun, and choose clear verbs like 'build' or 'create'.

× Yes, there are many around. There are a lot of parks, so maybe, maybe if I am a adult so. I will enjoy there.

✓ Yes, there are many around. There are a lot of parks, so maybe, maybe if I am an adult, I will enjoy them.

Article and pronoun errors: 'if I am a adult' needs the article 'an' before a vowel sound: 'an adult'. 'I will enjoy there' is incorrect; 'enjoy' needs an object—use 'them' to refer to 'parks' or say 'enjoy going there'. Suggestion: use 'an adult' and match pronouns correctly (them) or rephrase as 'enjoy going there'.