Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be careful with past tense and article use, make your answer concise and add one specific detail. Start with a clear topic sentence in past tense, then give a specific example and a linking word. Avoid redundancy and correct small grammar errors (enjoy → enjoyed; the had → they had; a lot of play → many play areas or playgrounds).

예시: Yes, I enjoyed going to parks with my parents when I was a child because they had many interesting animals. For example, I loved watching ducks in the pond and playing on the swings, which was exciting for me.

제안: This is a clear and relevant answer. Improve by using a linking phrase and one concrete detail to make it more specific and natural. Also correct small phrasing: say 'after a busy week' or 'after work' rather than 'after busy work'. Keep it within four sentences.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. For example, I usually take a 30-minute walk in the park near my home on weekends because I like the fresh air and it helps me unwind after a busy week.

제안: Make the answer grammatically correct and more specific. Use a clear topic sentence, give a reason with a linking word, and provide one concrete benefit of more parks. Fix modal and phrasing: 'the government could provide more funding' and 'because the public would benefit' or similar. Avoid vague phrases like 'at the public like that.'

예시: Yes, I would like to see more parks in Shenzhen. I think the government could provide more funding to build them because parks improve residents' health and provide safe places for children to play.

제안: Clarify which park you mean and remove hesitations. Use correct articles ('an ancient') and give one specific reason or detail about the park. Provide a clear topic sentence and a supporting detail linked with a phrase like 'for example' or 'because'.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit the Summer Palace in Beijing in the future because it is an ancient and famous park with beautiful traditional gardens and historic buildings that I want to see.

× Yes, when I was a child I enjoy going to parks with my parents because there were many interesting animals and the had a lot of play.

✓ Yes, when I was a child I enjoyed going to parks with my parents because there were many interesting animals and they had a lot of places to play.

Tense mismatch and incorrect pronoun/word: The clause 'when I was a child' sets past time, so 'enjoy' should be past tense 'enjoyed' (Grammar problem type ID 6). Also 'the had a lot of play' is ungrammatical: 'the' should be 'they' referring to animals or 'parks', and 'a lot of play' should be 'a lot of places to play' or 'lots of play areas'. Suggestion: match verb tenses to time markers and use correct pronouns and nouns for clarity.

× Yes, I usually take a walk in parks near my home on weekends because I enjoy the fresh air and it is a great way to unwind after busy work.

✓ Yes, I usually take a walk in the parks near my home on weekends because I enjoy the fresh air and it is a great way to unwind after a busy week of work.

Missing articles and awkward phrase: 'in parks' is acceptable but more natural with 'in the parks' when referring to specific nearby parks (Grammar problem type ID 6). 'after busy work' is unnatural; use 'after a busy week of work' or 'after a busy day at work' to match meaning. Suggestion: add articles where referring to specific nouns and use standard collocations ('busy week','day at work').

× Yes, I hope in the future the government could put more financial support to build more parks in Shenzhen because at the public like that.

✓ Yes, I hope in the future the government can provide more financial support to build more parks in Shenzhen because the public would like that.

Modal verb and collocation errors: 'could' is acceptable but 'can' or 'would' fits better with 'I hope' (Grammar problem type ID 4). Also 'put more financial support' is an incorrect collocation; use 'provide more financial support'. 'at the public like that' is ungrammatical; correct phrase is 'the public would like that' or 'people would appreciate that'. Suggestion: use appropriate modal verbs to express ability or desire and standard verb + noun collocations ('provide support').

× Yes, I want to visit you even which is a ancient and famous park located in Beijing. It umm this umm very traditional and ancient.

✓ Yes, I want to visit the Summer Palace, which is an ancient and famous park located in Beijing. It is very traditional and historic.

Article and sentence structure errors: 'a ancient' should be 'an ancient' because 'ancient' begins with a vowel sound (Grammar problem type ID 22). The original also has unclear reference 'you even' and repetition 'umm this umm' and sentence fragment 'very traditional and ancient'. Suggestion: replace unclear words with the park's name if known, use 'which' to introduce the relative clause, use 'an' before vowel sounds, and include a verb 'is' to form a complete sentence. Use varied adjectives ('historic' instead of repeating 'ancient').