Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more direct and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence (e.g., “Yes, I loved going to parks as a child.”), then add one or two specific supporting details. Avoid fillers (uh, umm) and repetition, and limit your answer to up to five sentences. Use linking words like “for example” or “also” to connect ideas.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, I spent hours on the swings and playing in the sandpit, which I found really fun. I still enjoy parks now because they offer good opportunities for physical activity.

제안: Give a clear main statement then support with specific reasons and one linking phrase. Correct small grammar issues (e.g., “scale” → “seat” or “swing”, “and the children” → “in children”). Reduce hesitation and keep responses within five sentences.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks and I take my daughter there every day. Also, she meets other children and practices social skills, and playing on the swings and in the sand helps her motor development.

제안: Answer directly and use clearer structure: state your opinion, give two specific reasons, and conclude briefly. Fix grammar and word choice (e.g., “not were maintained properly” → “are not well maintained”; “those were” → “that were”). Avoid repeating general phrases and keep sentences concise.

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city. Many existing parks are poorly maintained and there are too few new ones, so children lack safe places to play. The local government should invest in creating and maintaining more public parks.

제안: Be specific and concise: give one clear statement about the park, one or two reasons why you want to visit, and avoid filler and repetition. Use correct singular/plural forms (e.g., “lions and tigers”) and link reason with “because” or “since.”

예시: Yes, there is a large park with a small zoo that I would like to visit. I want to take my daughter there because she loves animals—especially lions and tigers—and she would enjoy seeing them up close.

× Oh, I love going to the parks.

✓ Oh, I loved going to parks.

The examiner asked about childhood (past), so the speaker should use past tense. Change 'love' to 'loved' to match the time frame; drop the definite article 'the' before 'parks' for general reference to parks in childhood. Suggestion: Use past simple for habits in childhood: 'I loved going to parks.'

× I love going to the swings, uh, the natural grass over there, umm, the sand area, the bucket area.

✓ I loved playing on the swings, on the grass, in the sand area and with the buckets.

Past context requires past tense 'loved' and more natural prepositions: 'playing on the swings', 'on the grass', 'in the sand', and 'with the buckets'. Remove excessive 'the' and improve noun choice for clarity. Suggestion: Use specific prepositions for activities: 'playing on', 'on the grass', 'in the sand'. Use past tense for childhood activities.

× Now as an adult, I love to take my daughter to the parks.

✓ Now as an adult, I love taking my daughter to the park.

For habitual present actions use present simple or present continuous; 'love taking' is more natural than 'love to take'. Use singular 'the park' if referring to the local park rather than parks in general. Suggestion: Say 'I love taking my daughter to the park' for present habitual action.

× I take her daily because I think parks have so much physical activities for.

✓ I take her daily because I think parks offer so many physical activities.

Use present simple for habitual action 'take'. Replace 'have so much physical activities for' with 'offer so many physical activities' for correct verb and quantifier usage and proper sentence completion. Suggestion: Use 'offer' with plural 'activities': 'parks offer so many physical activities.'

× Yes, as I told earlier, I take my daughter to the park every day.

✓ Yes, as I said earlier, I take my daughter to the park every day.

When referring to a previous statement in the same conversation, 'said' is more natural than 'told'. Present simple 'take' is correct for habitual action. Suggestion: Use 'as I said earlier' to refer to prior remarks.

× I introduce her to different friends in that area.

✓ I introduce her to different children in the area.

'Friends in that area' is awkward; 'children in the area' is clearer. 'Introduce to' is correct. Use 'the area' rather than 'that area' for natural reference. Suggestion: Use specific nouns: 'different children in the area.'

× She loves going on the scale on the swings, umm, playing with the sand over there.

✓ She loves going on the swings and playing in the sand.

'Going on the scale on the swings' is incorrect and unclear. The usual expression is 'going on the swings'. Use 'playing in the sand' rather than 'with the sand over there'. Suggestion: Keep phrases concise: 'going on the swings and playing in the sand.'

× I believe it is very important to develop social and motor skills and the children.

✓ I believe it is very important for children to develop social and motor skills.

The original misuses 'and the children' and word order is wrong. Use 'for children to develop' to show purpose and correct object placement. Suggestion: Use 'important for children to develop social and motor skills.'

× Yes, one of the drawbacks I feel my city has is there are not so many parks and even the ones those were established by the governments are now ruined and not were maintained properly.

✓ Yes, one drawback I feel my city has is that there are not many parks, and even the ones established by the government are now ruined and were not maintained properly.

Multiple errors: include 'that' after 'is'; use 'not many' rather than 'not so many' for formality; remove 'those' and use 'established by the government' (government as singular/unified); 'were not maintained' is correct past passive; remove unnecessary 'now' before 'ruined' or place consistently. Suggestion: Use 'one drawback is that there are not many parks, and even the ones established by the government were not maintained properly.'

× That's why children don't have many areas to go and play.

✓ That's why children don't have many places to go and play.

Use 'places' rather than 'areas' for natural collocation with 'go and play'. Structure is otherwise fine. Suggestion: Say 'places to go and play.'

× I think this is the responsibility of the government that they should create.

✓ I think it is the government's responsibility to create more parks.

Original sentence is ungrammatical: use possessive 'the government's responsibility' and an infinitive 'to create more parks'. Avoid dangling 'that they should create.' Suggestion: Use clear structure: 'It is the government's responsibility to create more parks.'

× Yes, there is one big park in my city.

✓ Yes, there is a big park in my city.

Both forms are acceptable, but 'a big park' is more natural than 'one big park' unless emphasizing quantity. No tense change needed. Suggestion: Prefer 'a big park' for neutral statements, or keep 'one' when emphasizing count.

× It has a zoo also and some of the big swings.

✓ It also has a zoo and some large swings.

Word order: 'also has a zoo' is more natural. Use 'large swings' rather than 'big swings' and remove 'some of the' unless specifying which swings. Suggestion: Say 'It also has a zoo and some large swings.'

× I want to take my daughter over there someday because she's, uh, she likes animals.

✓ I want to take my daughter there someday because she likes animals.

Remove filler and repetition 'she's, uh, she'. 'There' is sufficient; 'someday' with present 'want' is fine. Suggestion: Keep sentences concise: 'I want to take my daughter there someday because she likes animals.'

× She's a huge fan of lion and tigers and I heard, I've heard that there are a few animals as well.

✓ She's a huge fan of lions and tigers, and I've heard that there are a few animals there as well.

Use plural 'lions and tigers' when speaking generally. Combine repeated 'I heard' into 'I've heard'. Add 'there' to clarify location. Suggestion: Use plurals for animal types and avoid repeated clauses: 'She's a huge fan of lions and tigers, and I've heard there are a few animals there as well.'

× Specifically she likes both.

✓ Specifically, she likes both of them.

'Both' needs an object: 'both of them' clarifies what two items are meant (lions and tigers). Add comma after introductory adverb. Suggestion: Use 'both of them' or 'both animals' to be clear.