Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid redundancy ("most favorite"), correct verb choice ("went to" not "work to"), and limit to 3–4 supporting details. Use linking words to connect ideas (for example, "and" or "which").

예시: Yes. I often went to the park with my parents when I was a child, and it was one of my favorite activities. It helped me stay active and also improved my mood, especially because I could play outdoors with friends.

제안: Begin with a direct topic sentence. Avoid filler phrases ("most like favorite") and be careful with tense and articles ("a busy day"). Keep it natural and slightly shorter. Use one linking phrase to explain the reason (e.g., "because" or "as").

예시: Yes, I do. I enjoy walking in the park because it helps me relax and recharge after a busy day at work. I also like observing people and the surroundings, which calms my mind.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence then two specific, well-phrased supporting reasons. Correct grammar ("relaxation" not "relaxations", "help improve" or "would improve"). Use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect cause and effect.

예시: Yes, I would. More parks would provide space for exercise and relaxation because they offer safe areas for walking and sports. They would also help improve air quality and reduce urban heat, which is important in summer.

제안: Start with a concise topic sentence and then give one or two specific details about the park and why you want to visit. Avoid vague repetition ("very large and peaceful" twice). Use a linking word like "because" to explain your reason clearly.

예시: Yes. I would like to visit Eco Park in Hanoi because it is a large, peaceful green space. I think walking there and seeing the gardens would help me relax and connect with nature.

× Of course, when I was a kid, I used to work to the park with my parents very often since this was one of my most favorite engaging activities at that time, and it helped me a lot in improving my health and my mental health too.

✓ Of course, when I was a kid, I used to walk to the park with my parents very often since this was one of my most favorite activities at that time, and it helped me a lot in improving my physical and mental health.

The original sentence used 'work to the park' which is incorrect; the intended verb is 'walk' (singular/plural not directly the issue but replacement fixes meaning). Also 'my health and my mental health' is redundant; 'physical and mental health' is clearer. Suggestion: use 'walk to the park' and pair 'physical and mental health' to avoid repetition.

× Yes, since I'm really into walking in the park and watching people without doing anything, which is one of my most like favorite activities to unwind my mind and recharge my batteries after busy day at work.

✓ Yes, since I'm really into walking in the park and watching people without doing anything, which is one of my favorite activities to unwind my mind and recharge my batteries after a busy day at work.

Errors: 'most like favorite' is ungrammatical—use 'favorite' alone. Also missing article 'a' before 'busy day'. Suggestions: remove 'most like' and add 'a' before 'busy day' to make the noun phrase correct.

× Parks provide essential green space for relaxations and exercise, and adding more good improve air quality and reduce urban heat, which is especially important during hot summers.

✓ Parks provide essential green space for relaxation and exercise, and adding more parks would improve air quality and reduce urban heat, which is especially important during hot summers.

Errors: 'relaxations' should be the uncountable noun 'relaxation'. Phrase 'adding more good improve' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'adding more parks would improve'. Suggestion: use 'relaxation' (singular/uncountable) and insert subject 'parks' with modal/auxiliary 'would' to form correct clause 'adding more parks would improve'.

× Yes, there are few parks I would like to visit.

✓ Yes, there are a few parks I would like to visit.

'There are few parks' implies almost none; to express that some exist, use 'a few parks'. Suggestion: add the article 'a' to change meaning to 'some'.

× For example, I hope to go to a large Green Park in Hanoi called the Eco Park because it looks very large and peaceful, and I think spending time there would help me relax and enjoy nature.

✓ For example, I hope to go to a large green park in Hanoi called Eco Park because it looks very large and peaceful, and I think spending time there would help me relax and enjoy nature.

Errors: Unnecessary capitalization of 'Green Park' unless it's the official name; if the official name is 'Eco Park' do not use 'the' before it in this context. 'the Eco Park' can be fine if 'the' is part of name, but more natural: 'called Eco Park'. Suggestion: use lowercase for descriptive 'green park' and drop 'the' before proper name unless required.