Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be direct and clear: start with a simple topic sentence stating whether you liked parks, then add one or two specific supporting details (what you did, who with, how you felt). Use correct tense and simpler grammar to avoid confusion. Keep it under five sentences and use linking words like "and" or "also."

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. My friends and I often went there after school to play games and ride bikes, and we usually met at a small playground near my house. Those visits were fun because we could run around freely and spend time together.

제안: Answer directly with a clear topic sentence about whether you go to parks now. Explain reasons concisely with logical linking words like "because" or "so." Avoid unclear phrases and long run-on sentences; use present simple to describe habits. Limit to three sentences maximum.

예시: Not really, I don't go to parks much now. Since I moved to Canada, I have different priorities and often prefer to stay home and call my family in the Philippines, so I rarely spend time outdoors. If I have free time, I sometimes go for short walks instead.

제안: Start with a clear yes/no and give specific reasons. Use concise supporting details (e.g. relaxation, picnics, exercise) and linking words like "because" or "so that." Avoid repeating phrases and correct small grammar issues like "can be able to" → "can" or "be able to."

예시: Yes, I would. More parks nearby would give me places to relax and exercise, and I could have picnics with friends. For example, a quiet park with benches and walking paths would be perfect for weekend outings.

제안: Answer directly naming the park or country and give a specific reason why you want to go and who with. Use correct verb forms and avoid "can able to." Add one example of an activity you want to try and keep it to two sentences.

예시: Yes, I would like to visit parks in Japan with my family. My aunt who lives there has told me about cherry-blossom viewing and traditional gardens, and I would love to enjoy a picnic and join seasonal festivals there.

× I remembered when I was Mexican daughter school, I me and my friend normally go to the park if we have a free time and after school I'd be able to remember as well.

✓ I remember when I was in elementary school in Mexico; my friend and I normally went to the park if we had free time, and I can still remember those times.

The student mixed past and present forms and used incorrect word order and articles. Use simple past for habitual actions in the past: 'remember' can be present when saying you still recall, but the actions 'go' should be past 'went' and 'have' should be past 'had'. 'Mexican daughter school' is incorrect word choice; use 'elementary school in Mexico' or 'school in Mexico'. Also correct pronoun order to 'my friend and I' and replace 'I'd be able to remember' with 'I can still remember' for clarity.

× During my childhood years that we used to play at the parking space nearby by a house and we enjoyed ensures those moments.

✓ During my childhood we used to play in the parking space near a house, and we really enjoyed those moments.

The sentence contains incorrect relative phrasing and word choice. Remove unnecessary 'that' and correct preposition to 'in' and 'near'. 'Nearby by' is redundant. 'Ensures' is incorrect; use 'really enjoyed' or 'treasured'. Also simplify 'During my childhood years' to 'During my childhood' for natural phrasing.

× Since I have different priorities and color path, I don't normally go to the park anymore and since coming here in Canada by myself, I prefer to stay at the comfort of my own home and talk to my family way back in the Philippines instead of going outside and do some other outdoor activities.

✓ Since I have different priorities and a different career path, I don't normally go to the park anymore. Since I came to Canada by myself, I prefer to stay in the comfort of my own home and talk to my family back in the Philippines instead of going outside and doing other outdoor activities.

Tenses and word choices are inconsistent. 'Since coming here' should be 'Since I came' or 'Since coming' with consistent structure; here 'Since I came' is clearer. 'Color path' is likely 'career path' or 'different path'. Keep present tense for current habits: 'I don't normally go' is fine. Use gerund 'doing' after 'instead of'. Use 'in the comfort of my own home' not 'at the comfort' and 'back in the Philippines' instead of 'way back' for formality.

× That's why I prepared to stay at home and not going to other park.

✓ That's why I plan to stay at home and not go to other parks.

The student used incorrect verb forms. 'Prepared to stay' is awkward for future intention; use 'plan to stay'. Use base verb 'go' after 'not' (not 'not going'). Also pluralize 'parks' if referring generally or use 'another park' for a single park.

× Yes, I would like to see different parks in my nearest town so that anytime if I'm given a chance that I can able to spend my quality time there and enjoy the the serene and tranquil environment of the park as well as I can able to have a picnic with my other friends as well.

✓ Yes, I would like to see different parks in my nearest town so that if I am given a chance I can spend quality time there, enjoy the serene and tranquil environment, and have a picnic with my friends.

Avoid redundant modal constructions 'can able to' and extra fillers like 'anytime' and duplicate 'as well'. Use 'if I am given a chance' and simple modal 'can' for ability. Remove duplicate 'the' and streamline 'my other friends' to 'my friends'.

× Yes, I'm planning to go to a park of the specific country like Japan so I can able to enjoy the moment together with my loved ones.

✓ Yes, I'm planning to visit a park in a specific country like Japan so I can enjoy the moment with my loved ones.

'Go to a park of the specific country' is unnatural; use 'visit a park in a country like Japan'. Remove 'can able to' and use 'can enjoy' or simply 'enjoy'. Keep tense consistent with present continuous 'I'm planning' and base verb 'visit' or 'go'.

× And since I had my aunt who lives there, she told me about the different outdoor activities that you can able to do while we are spending time at the park.

✓ And since I have an aunt who lives there, she has told me about the different outdoor activities you can do while spending time at the park.

Use 'have an aunt' (present) if aunt still lives there. Use present perfect 'has told me' to indicate a recent or relevant past action. Remove 'can able to' redundancy; use 'can do'. Also change 'we are spending' to 'spending' for a general statement.