Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve grammar and tense consistency, make the answer more natural and concise, and add a specific example or memory. Use past tense for childhood, avoid repetition, and use linking words like "because" and "also" correctly.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks when I was a child because they had playgrounds and ponds full of ducks. For example, I used to visit Central Park every weekend with my family, where we would feed the ducks and play on the swings. Those visits were fun and helped me make many childhood friends.

제안: Correct tense and word choice, make the response clearer and more natural. Start with a direct topic sentence, then briefly explain why parks remain appealing, using linking words such as "because" or "so". Give a specific activity you do to relax there.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because I appreciate plants and wildlife more as an adult. For instance, I often walk among the trees and watch birds for half an hour after work, which helps me unwind and forget about stress.

제안: Make the idea clearer and more concise. Use correct adjectives and avoid vague phrases like "so weird to see many plants." Provide a reason and a specific benefit of more parks, using linking words such as "because" and "for example."

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in my city because it is very built-up with tall buildings and limited green space. For example, adding small parks in residential areas would improve air quality and give residents places to relax and exercise.

제안: Clarify whether you mean amusement parks or botanical parks and finish your sentences. Avoid filler words like "umm" and be specific about the park or activities you want to try. Use linking words to connect ideas and give an example of a specific park or activity.

예시: In the future I would like to visit a large amusement park that also has landscaped gardens. For example, I plan to go to Joyland Amusement Park to try new rides and also visit its botanical garden, because I enjoy both excitement and scenic walks.

× I like going to a park when I was a child because there are many facilities in the parks and also there are many flowers and different kinds of animal to explore another.

✓ I liked going to parks when I was a child because there were many facilities, many flowers, and different kinds of animals to explore.

ID 6: The sentence mixes present tense (like, are) with past time reference (when I was a child). Use past tense 'liked' and 'were' to match the past timeframe. Also correct pluralization: 'parks' or 'a park' consistently, and 'animals' plural. Remove unclear phrase 'to explore another' and replace with 'to explore.' Suggestion: choose consistent past tense and correct plural forms.

× In addition, I can hang out with my friends.

✓ In addition, I could hang out with my friends.

ID 2: The speaker is describing past habitual action; modal 'can' is present. Use past modal 'could' to match past timeframe. Suggestion: use 'could' or 'was able to' when describing past ability or habit.

× Yes, when I grow up I am more as obsessed with some beautiful things, especially for some plants and some animals.

✓ Yes, now that I have grown up, I am more obsessed with beautiful things, especially plants and animals.

ID 6: Tense and phrasing are incorrect. 'When I grow up' refers to future; the speaker means the present state after growing up, so use 'now that I have grown up.' Remove unnecessary words 'as' and 'some' for natural English. Use plural nouns without extra 'some' when generalizing.

× I can relieve all my pressure and tension from work and study in the park.

✓ I can relieve my stress and tension from work and study in the park.

ID 6: The tense 'can' is acceptable for a present general ability. Main issue is word choice: 'pressure' is less natural than 'stress' in this context, and 'all' is unnecessary. Suggestion: use 'stress' and omit 'all' for conciseness.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because in my city there are many very tall buildings and it is very dense in UH area and it is so weird to see many plants, so I want to have more plants.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in my city because there are many tall buildings and the UH area is very dense, so it looks strange to see few plants; I want more green spaces.

ID 26: The original sentence is repetitive and ungrammatical ('in my city' repeated, 'very dense in UH area') and has awkward phrasing ('so weird to see many plants' likely meant 'few plants'). Improve coherence: remove repetition, specify 'the UH area,' correct logical meaning, and use 'green spaces' for natural wording.

× Actually, I'm thinking of amusement parks because umm, the park with some beautiful flowers and beautiful view.

✓ Actually, I'm thinking of amusement parks and parks with beautiful flowers and views.

ID 26 and ID 6: The sentence is fragmented and uses 'because' without completing the clause. Make parallel structure: 'amusement parks and parks with beautiful flowers and views.' Keep present continuous 'I'm thinking' for current consideration. Avoid filler 'umm' in formal answers.

× I have been to most of them already and I want to have some different kinds of activities to do and the.

✓ I have been to most of them already, and I want to try different kinds of activities there.

ID 9 (past participle / present perfect) and ID 26: 'I have been to' is correct, but the sentence ends abruptly ('and the'). Revise to complete idea: 'try different kinds of activities there.' Use 'try' for attempting new activities and 'there' to refer back to parks.