Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 回答は意図は伝わりますが、文法ミス（時制、動詞の選択、冠詞など）、語彙の誤用（prayed→played）、そして冗長表現があります。また、Supporting detail を一つか二つの文で整理して述べるとより自然で効果的です。具体的には、正しい動詞を使い、時制を統一し、短くて明確な一つの主題文のあとに具体例を付け加えてください。

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I often went there after school to play baseball with my friends, and doing that every day helped me relax and forget about homework.

제안: 文法（時制の一貫性、主語と動詞の一致）と論理の流れが不安定です。接続詞や理由を述べるときは一つの文で完結させ、具体的な効果を明示してください。また、不完全な文を避け、語彙を明確に使いましょう。

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks because there are many green spaces near my home. Visiting them helps me clear my mind and feel more energetic, especially after a busy day.

제안: 主旨は明確ですが、表現が不自然で冗長です。場所（downtown）や理由（need for nature）を短く具体的に述べ、接続詞で文をつなげてください。また、自然を感じるために公園が必要であることをもう少し具体例で示すと良いです。

예시: Yes, I would like more parks in Tokyo, especially in downtown areas. Small parks would give local residents access to nature, reduce stress, and provide places for children to play.

제안: 良い具体例ですが、語順と前置詞が不自然です（go Shinjuku and park in Shinjuku→go to Shinjuku Gyoen Park）。公園の名前を正確に言い、なぜ行きたいのかをもう一文で付け加えるとより説得力が増します。

예시: Yes, I'd like to visit Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden in Tokyo. It's one of the largest parks in the city and famous for its cherry blossoms, so I want to see them in spring.

× Yes, I like going to parks. When I was a child, I often went to parks after school and I prayed baseball with my friends every day.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks. When I was a child, I often went to parks after school and I played baseball with my friends every day.

The first clause uses present tense 'like' but context is childhood, so past tense 'liked' is correct (Present tense issue). 'Prayed baseball' is a word choice error; the correct verb is 'played'. Suggest using past tense consistently for past habits and use correct verbs: 'liked' and 'played'.

× It made me relaxing and unwind.

✓ It helped me relax and unwind.

'Made me relaxing' incorrectly uses an adjective/participle form; use causative structure 'made me relax' or better 'helped me relax'. Also 'unwind' should follow parallel structure: 'relax and unwind'. Suggest: 'It helped me relax and unwind.'

× Yes, I like going to parks. Because there were many parks near my house, I often go to parks.

✓ Yes, I liked going to parks. Because there were many parks near my house, I often went to parks.

Context refers to past (childhood) so present 'like' and present 'go' are incorrect. Use past tense 'liked' and 'went' to match time frame (Present tense issue). Also avoid sentence fragments starting with 'Because'—attach to main clause.

× Going to parks make easy works because I can feel green and.

✓ Going to parks makes work easier because I can enjoy being surrounded by greenery.

Subject 'Going to parks' is singular gerund phrase, so verb should be 'makes' not 'make' (subject-verb agreement). 'easy works' is incorrect collocation; use 'work easier' or 'makes tasks easier'. The phrase 'I can feel green and.' is incomplete and unclear; replace with 'I can enjoy being surrounded by greenery.' Suggestions: ensure verb agrees with gerund subject and complete the idea.

× Yes, I would like to see more parks in Tokyo. In Tokyo, especially downtown area, I can't find many parks.

✓ Yes, I would like to see more parks in Tokyo. In downtown Tokyo, I can't find many parks.

Phrase 'especially downtown area' is awkward; use 'downtown Tokyo'. 'Many' is acceptable here; this is mainly word order/phrase use—categorized as Incorrect use of quantifiers because 'many' vs 'much' confusion can occur. Suggest: 'In downtown Tokyo, I can't find many parks.'

× So it should be more parks in Tokyo to feel nature.

✓ So there should be more parks in Tokyo to experience nature.

Incorrect sentence structure: 'it should be more parks' is ungrammatical. Use 'there should be more parks'. Also 'to feel nature' is unnatural; use 'to experience nature'. Suggest using 'there should be' + noun phrase.

× Yes, I want to go Shinjuku and park in Shinjuku, Tokyo in the future.

✓ Yes, I want to go to Shinjuku Park in Shinjuku, Tokyo in the future.

Missing preposition 'to' before place and word order issue. Combine words to form the park name 'Shinjuku Park' or 'Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden'. Use 'go to' for locations. Suggest: 'I want to go to Shinjuku Park in Shinjuku, Tokyo.'

× It is the largest park in Shinjuku and there are many trees such as cherry blossoms.

✓ It is one of the largest parks in Shinjuku, and there are many trees, such as cherry blossom trees.

'The largest park' might be incorrect if not unique; safer: 'one of the largest parks' (article error). Also 'cherry blossoms' refers to flowers or trees; to be clear, say 'cherry blossom trees'. Suggest using articles carefully and clarify nouns.