Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid filler words (uh) and verb form errors. Add one specific detail linked with a linking word. Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. I mainly played games with my friends there and enjoyed being surrounded by nature, which made me feel happy and energetic.

제안: Correct word choice and repetition errors, and use one linking phrase to connect ideas. Be precise about activities and their benefits. Remove repeated words and unnecessary phrases.

예시: Yes, I still enjoy going to parks. For example, I go every morning to jog and do stretching exercises, which helps me feel energetic throughout the day.

제안: Reduce repetition and filler words, and use a clear reason with linking words. Provide a specific benefit for different groups to strengthen the answer. Stick to 2–3 sentences maximum.

예시: Yes, definitely—our city needs more parks. They would benefit everyone, especially children who need safe places to play and adults who need green spaces to relax and exercise.

제안: Fix vocabulary and grammar (perks → parks; avoid awkward relative clauses). Give one clear example of a specific park and explain briefly why you want to visit it, using a linking word to contrast with your busy schedule.

예시: I have several parks on my bucket list, but one I especially want to visit is the riverside park near my home because it has beautiful walking trails. However, due to my busy schedule I haven't had time to go yet.

× Yes, I love going to parks. When I was a child, uh, mainly I went to the parks for playing games with my friends and uh, enjoy the nature and I think it makes me more happy and joyful.

✓ Yes, I loved going to parks. When I was a child, I mainly went to parks to play games with my friends and enjoy nature, and I think it made me happier and more joyful.

Tense mismatch and verb form: The response begins with present tense 'I love' but the context asks about childhood, so past tense is required. 'For playing games' is an incorrect infinitive use; use 'to play' instead. 'Enjoy the nature' is unidiomatic; use 'enjoy nature'. 'Makes me more happy' should be 'made me happier' (comparative adjective and past tense). Suggestions: maintain past tense for actions in childhood, use 'to' + base verb for purpose, use comparative forms correctly and omit unnecessary articles with noun 'nature'.

× Yes, till now I love going to parks and I do a lot of activities in the parks. For example, I go to the parks every morning and I do some exercise there which which makes me more energetic for a long day.

✓ Yes, up to now I have loved going to parks and I do a lot of activities there. For example, I go to the park every morning and do some exercise which makes me more energetic throughout the day.

Tense and article issues: 'till now I love' is awkward; use present perfect 'I have loved' to show continuation to present. 'In the parks' unnecessarily repeats; 'there' is fine. 'Go to the parks every morning' should be 'go to the park' (general habit uses singular or no article). Duplicate word 'which which' is an error. 'For a long day' is unidiomatic; use 'throughout the day'. Suggestions: use present perfect for actions continuing to present, avoid duplicate words, use correct articles for habitual actions, and use natural time expressions.

× Yes, definitely. I love to see more parks in my city in, in the future. Uh, I think it, it, it is not only uh for me, uh, but uh, also for children, uh, it provides beneficial for everyone, uh, there.

✓ Yes, definitely. I would love to see more parks in my city in the future. I think they would be beneficial not only for me but also for children and everyone there.

Pronoun and sentence structure errors: Repetition 'it, it, it' and filler words disrupt clarity. 'I love to see more parks in my city in the future' is awkward; 'I would love to see' is more natural. 'It provides beneficial for everyone' is incorrect: 'provide' requires an object and 'beneficial' should be an adjective describing the parks; restructure to 'they would be beneficial for everyone.' Suggestions: remove fillers and repetitions, use appropriate pronouns referring to 'parks' (they), and use correct verb and adjective structures.

× There are a lot of perks on my bucket list who who where I want to go to in the future, but in particular among of them which is within walking distance from my home and easily accessible. But As for my busy schedule, I can't go there.

✓ There are a lot of parks on my bucket list that I want to visit in the future, and one in particular is within walking distance from my home and easily accessible. However, because of my busy schedule, I can't go there.

Wrong word choice and quantifier/pronoun errors: 'perks' is incorrect; should be 'parks'. Repetitions 'who who where' are incorrect; use 'that' or 'which' for things. 'Among of them' is incorrect; use 'one in particular' or 'among them'. Capitalization 'As' mid-sentence is wrong. 'But As for my busy schedule, I can't go there' is awkward; 'However, because of my busy schedule' is clearer. Suggestions: choose correct nouns, remove repetitions, use appropriate relative pronouns for things ('that'/'which'), and use 'one in particular' to specify.