Parks— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Focus on clear pronunciation, correct word choice and concise structure. Start with a direct topic sentence, correct vocabulary (parks, not barks), and reduce repetition. Use one or two supporting details with linking words (for example / because) and avoid grammatical errors (e.g., tense consistency, articles).

예시: Yes, I loved going to parks as a child. For example, I used to visit the playground every afternoon because it let me run around, explore nature and be creative with my friends.

제안: Be direct and fluent: give a clear topic sentence and two brief supporting reasons. Avoid filler phrases and unclear words (e.g., 'I would like a pee' and 'supermight regarded'). Use linking words like 'because' or 'so' and keep sentences grammatically correct and concise.

예시: Not really — I rarely go to parks now because I prefer spending time alone and value peace and quiet. As a result, I usually relax at home rather than going out to social places.

제안: Answer the question directly (yes/no) then explain briefly. Avoid repeating earlier statements word-for-word; give a specific reason or condition (e.g., if parks were quieter or had facilities). Use cohesive devices like 'however' or 'but' to contrast ideas.

예시: I would be open to more parks if they offered quiet areas and good facilities. However, since I prefer solitude, I would only use them if they were peaceful and not too crowded.

제안: Be specific about future intentions. Start with whether you plan to visit parks, then give a concrete example or condition that would make you visit (a particular park, event or company). Avoid repeating the same phrasing; keep sentences clear and within five sentences.

예시: I don't have specific parks I plan to visit now, but I might go to a calm botanical garden in the future if a friend invites me or if I need a peaceful place to relax.

× Yes, as a kid, barks give me a a sense of playfulness.

✓ Yes, as a kid, parks gave me a sense of playfulness.

The student wrote 'barks' (spelling error) instead of 'parks' and used present tense 'give' although describing childhood; past tense 'gave' is correct. Also duplicated 'a'. Improve by checking spelling and matching verb tense to the time reference. Suggestion: proofread for typos and use past tense when referring to childhood experiences.

× I can be myself, I can explore and I can expose the creativity side of me.

✓ I could be myself, I could explore, and I could show the creative side of myself.

When talking about past habits or experiences, modal 'could' or past tense is appropriate instead of present 'can'. 'Expose the creativity side of me' is awkward: 'show the creative side of myself' is natural. Suggest using 'could' and revise the verb phrase for natural phrasing.

× And on top of that, I usually go around playgrounds every in every afternoon.

✓ And on top of that, I usually went to playgrounds every afternoon.

The sentence mixes present habitual 'usually go' with a past time frame; use past 'went'. 'Go around playgrounds' is unnatural; 'went to playgrounds' is clearer. Remove extra 'in' and redundant 'every'. Suggest matching tense and simplifying prepositions/adverbs.

× It's that type of physical activity for me when I was a kid.

✓ That was the type of physical activity I enjoyed when I was a kid.

Original mixes 'It's' (present) with 'when I was a kid' (past). Change to past 'was' and rephrase for natural English: 'the type of physical activity I enjoyed.' Suggest aligning tense and using natural verb 'enjoyed'.

× As of the moment, I am not a fan of outdoor activities anymore.

✓ At the moment, I am not a fan of outdoor activities anymore.

Use 'At the moment' not 'As of the moment'. The rest is acceptable; 'anymore' fits with negative present. Suggest common phrase 'At the moment'.

× I don't engage much in socializing with others.

✓ I don't engage much in socializing with others.

This sentence is grammatically acceptable. No correction needed. Note: It correctly uses 'socializing' as a gerund and 'don't engage in' is idiomatic.

× Maybe because I value my free time alone and I would like my own space now.

✓ Maybe it's because I value my free time alone and would like my own space now.

Add 'it's' to introduce the clause ('Maybe it's because...'). Remove redundant 'I' before 'would like' for smoother style. Suggest using a subject for clarity.

× I would like a pee, I would like peace and tranquility.

✓ I would like peace and tranquility.

'I would like a pee' is incorrect and likely a mistake; remove it. Keep the intended idea 'peace and tranquility.' Suggest avoiding literal or unintended words and keep concise.

× I don't know. On top of that, I won't be supermight regarded, sure.

✓ I don't know. On top of that, I won't be very outgoing, I suppose.

'Supermight regarded' is ungrammatical and unclear. Replace with a natural expression 'won't be very outgoing' or 'I'm not very sociable.' 'Sure' is informal; 'I suppose' fits better. Suggest using clear, common adjectives and adverbs.

× I don't usually engage in outdoor activities anymore, even just a simple visits and maybe because I prefer my time alone.

✓ I don't usually engage in outdoor activities anymore, not even for simple visits, maybe because I prefer my time alone.

'A simple visits' mixes singular article with plural noun; use 'simple visits' or 'a simple visit'. Also 'even just' order is awkward; 'not even for simple visits' is natural. Tense 'don't usually engage' matches present. Suggest fixing article-number agreement and word order.

× I value my space and a busy environment quite disturbing nowadays and for example I prefer.

✓ I value my space, and a busy environment is quite disturbing to me nowadays; for example, I prefer

Missing verb for 'a busy environment quite disturbing' — add 'is' and 'to me'. Sentence fragment ends with 'I prefer' incomplete; complete thought is needed. Suggest completing the sentence and providing correct verb 'is'.

× Stay in my room locked instead of going out socializing.

✓ to stay locked in my room instead of going out to socialize.

Fragment lacks subject and proper infinitive form. Use 'to stay locked in my room' and 'to socialize' for parallel structure. Suggest combining with previous sentence for completeness.

× Are there any parks you want to go to in the future? Student: I don't usually engage in outdoor activities anymore, even just a simple visits and maybe because I prefer my time alone.

✓ I don't usually engage in outdoor activities anymore, not even for a simple visit, maybe because I prefer my time alone.

Repeated sentence from earlier; correct article-number agreement ('a simple visit' or 'simple visits'). Keep present tense 'don't usually engage' for current preference. Suggest avoiding repetition and choose singular or plural consistently.

× I value my space and a busy environment quite disturbing nowadays and for example I prefer. Stay in my room locked instead of going out socializing.

✓ I value my space, and a busy environment is quite disturbing to me nowadays; for example, I prefer to stay locked in my room instead of going out to socialize.

Combine fragmented sentences, add missing verb 'is', correct phrasing 'disturbing to me', and change 'Stay in my room locked' to 'to stay locked in my room'. Ensure infinitive forms and complete clauses. Suggest writing full sentences and linking ideas smoothly.