Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve fluency and reduce hesitations and filler words (e.g., "uh", "umm"). Make sentences more natural and concise: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details (how you take photos, what you enjoy). Correct minor grammar (e.g., "helps me take" instead of "help me to click"). Keep answer within 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I love photographing different views, especially sunrises and sunsets in natural settings. I’ve enjoyed this hobby since childhood and usually shoot with my Canon camera, which helps me capture sharp images. I particularly enjoy framing landscapes that show light and shadow because they create dramatic photos.

제안: Work on grammar, sentence structure and coherence. Begin with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then use linking words (because, for example, also) and give specific reasons or examples. Avoid repetition and correct subject-verb agreement and pluralization (e.g., "rural areas," "nature itself"). Aim for 2–3 well-formed sentences.

예시: I prefer rural areas to urban ones because the countryside has more unspoiled nature and clearer skies. For example, I can photograph unique cloud formations and quiet fields that aren’t possible in busy cities. Also, rural places often have cleaner surroundings, which makes my photos look more peaceful.

제안: Reduce filler words and organize answer: state preference, then give two specific supporting reasons (e.g., cultural variety, famous landmarks). Use correct phrasing ("I prefer views in my own country"), avoid repeating phrases, and give a brief example. Keep to 2–3 concise sentences.

예시: I prefer views in my own country because India offers a great variety of landscapes and cultural sites. For instance, famous monuments like the Taj Mahal and colorful festivals provide unique photo opportunities that reflect local history and traditions.

× I like taking pictures of different views like sunset, sunrise including nature.

✓ I like taking pictures of different views, such as sunsets and sunrises, and of nature.

The original sentence lists examples but uses singular nouns (sunset, sunrise) and an awkward structure. Use the gerund 'taking' correctly with plural forms for examples ('sunsets', 'sunrises') and connect items with 'such as' and 'and' for clarity. Also add commas for listing.

× This is my hobby uh from childhood and I have a Canon camera which help me to click the perfect picture with the perfect dimension.

✓ This has been my hobby since childhood, and I have a Canon camera which helps me take the perfect picture with the right dimensions.

Several issues: 'from childhood' should be 'since childhood' for a continuing hobby (preposition/time expression). 'Help me to click' is non-idiomatic—use 'helps me take'. 'Help' needs third-person singular agreement 'helps' (subject-verb agreement). 'Perfect dimension' should be plural 'dimensions' and 'right' is more natural than 'perfect' here. Also use present perfect 'has been' to show continuation from childhood.

× So far as I really like taking pictures of a different place.

✓ I really like taking pictures of different places.

The phrase 'So far as' is unnecessary and awkward. 'a different place' mismatches with 'pictures of'—use plural 'different places' to match plural 'pictures'. This fixes subject-verb and noun number consistency.

× I prefer more views in rural area compared to urban area because rural area they have natures itself, they have everything clean they don't they they clouds are formation is beautiful.

✓ I prefer rural areas to urban areas because rural areas have natural scenery, everything is cleaner, and cloud formations are beautiful.

'More views in rural area' is unidiomatic; use 'prefer rural areas to urban areas'. Avoid repeating 'area' singular; use plural 'areas'. 'They have natures itself' is incorrect—use 'have natural scenery' or 'nature'. Replace awkward fragments 'they don't they they' with 'everything is cleaner'. 'Clouds are formation is beautiful' is ungrammatical; correct to 'cloud formations are beautiful'.

× That's why I like taking more pictures of rural area compared to the urban area.

✓ That's why I like taking more pictures of rural areas than of urban areas.

Use plural 'rural areas' and 'urban areas' for general preference. Prefer the comparative 'than' instead of 'compared to' and include 'of' after 'pictures' when parallel ('pictures of rural areas' and 'pictures of urban areas').

× I prefer views in my own country because I live in India and the, uh, this country is like full of, uh, different cultures, uh, different, uh, monuments, having a Taj Mahal, uh, So I think it's better for me to have to have umm, preferred views in your own, in my own country.

✓ I prefer views in my own country because I live in India. This country is full of different cultures and monuments, such as the Taj Mahal, so I think it is better for me to enjoy views in my own country.

Remove hesitation fillers and redundant phrases. Use 'my own country' consistently (not 'your own'). 'Having a Taj Mahal' is incorrect—use 'such as the Taj Mahal'. 'Preferred views in your own, in my own country' is mixed-person and awkward; simplify to 'better for me to enjoy views in my own country'. Also fix sentence segmentation and verb forms for clarity.