Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Trim repetition, improve sentence structure and tenses, and add a clear topic sentence followed by concise supporting details. Use varied vocabulary (e.g., 'scenery', 'landscape', 'wildlife') and correct tense consistency. Limit to 3–4 sentences and avoid repeating ideas.

예시: Yes, I love photographing different views. I’m an avid hiker, so on trips I often photograph the surrounding scenery — mountains, forests, flowers — and sometimes the wildlife I encounter. These photos help me remember the atmosphere of each place.

제안: Provide a clear topic sentence stating your preference, avoid repetition and unclear phrases, and use precise vocabulary ('natural landscapes', 'cityscapes'). Remove irrelevant or confusing fragments. Support your opinion with 1–2 specific reasons and a short example or contrast.

예시: I prefer rural views to urban ones because I enjoy natural landscapes and quieter atmospheres. For example, I find mountain panoramas and forests more relaxing than busy streets and high-rise buildings.

제안: Start with a clear, concise answer then justify it with specific comparisons and a brief example. Reduce filler ('I', 'um') and correct grammar (use plural/singular properly). Name one or two distinct features you liked abroad vs at home.

예시: I enjoy views in both my country and abroad because each place offers unique scenery. For instance, China has dramatic mountain landscapes, while the national parks I visited in the United States offered vast open spaces and different wildlife, so I appreciate both.

× I'm avid hiking enthusiast and I often go on hiking trips and when I was hiking I often take many pictures of the view around me, the mountains, the trees, the flowers and maybe some pictures of the insects or animals I encountered on the road.

✓ I'm an avid hiking enthusiast and I often go on hiking trips, and when I hike I often take many pictures of the views around me: the mountains, the trees, the flowers, and sometimes pictures of the insects or animals I encounter on the trail.

The sentence is missing the indefinite article 'an' before 'avid hiking enthusiast' (singular noun requires an article). 'The view' should be plural 'the views' to match multiple scenes. Verb tense consistency: change 'when I was hiking I often take' to 'when I hike I often take' to keep present habitual tense. 'Maybe some pictures' changed to 'sometimes pictures' and 'encountered' to 'encounter' for consistent present habitual narration.

× Personally, I prefer the view in rural area I prefer nature over urban high rises I personally I would like to appreciate the beauty of our mothers, the natural beauty, the landscape, the weather, the wind, the cloth, the. OK.

✓ Personally, I prefer the views in rural areas; I prefer nature over urban high rises. I personally like to appreciate the natural beauty: the landscape, the weather, the wind, and the clothing of people.

Use plural 'views' and 'rural areas' instead of singular to match general preference (there be/number agreement issue). The original also lacks punctuation and repeats 'I personally'. 'The beauty of our mothers' is likely incorrect word choice; replaced with 'natural beauty'. 'Cloth' is unclear, changed to 'clothing' for grammatical noun form. Sentence split and punctuation added for clarity.

× I think I enjoy them both equally. Each country has different geography and landscape. Obviously China has many great places, but also other places in the, in the world. Like I, I really enjoy the national parks in in United States when I visited and it's it's all different. I I like them all.

✓ I think I enjoy them both equally. Each country has different geography and landscapes. Obviously, China has many great places, but so do other countries. For example, I really enjoyed the national parks in the United States when I visited; they are all different, and I like them all.

Use plural 'landscapes' to match 'geography' (consistent plurality). 'Other places in the world' was vague; changed to 'other countries' for clarity. Tense consistency: 'enjoy' vs 'visited' requires past tense 'enjoyed' when referring to a past visit. Removed stuttering and extra words, and corrected 'in in United States' to 'in the United States'. 'It's it's all different' changed to 'they are all different' to refer to national parks (plural).