Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and reduce hesitations. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Avoid filler words ("umm", "uh") and repetitive phrases ("beautiful places", "beautiful HD photos"). Also vary vocabulary slightly and keep to about 2–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views, especially when I explore parks and green spaces. For example, I often stop to photograph colorful flowers because their vivid tones look great in high-resolution shots, and I upload the best images to my online gallery to share with friends.

제안: Avoid repetition and improve sentence structure. Begin with a direct topic sentence, then give one or two specific comparisons using linking words (e.g., "whereas", "because"). Reduce filler words and compress similar ideas into one clear sentence. Use precise adjectives (e.g., "tranquil", "scenic").

예시: I prefer rural views because they are more tranquil and scenic, with abundant greenery and varied landscapes. Whereas urban areas mainly feature tall buildings and concrete, the countryside offers rustic paths, trees, and panoramic vistas that are more interesting to photograph.

제안: Clarify your meaning and correct grammar. Start with a concise topic sentence stating your preference, then give a specific reason. Avoid negative phrasing that confuses (e.g., "I haven't had a chance"). Remove fillers and fix grammar ("its" not "it's"). Provide a concrete example of a country or type of view you've seen online to make the answer more specific.

예시: I would choose views from other countries because I’ve seen many inspiring photos of coastal cliffs and mountain villages online. Although I haven’t had many opportunities to travel yet, images of places like the Swiss Alps or the Amalfi Coast make me eager to experience those landscapes in person.

× Uh, I definitely run to take their beautiful HD photos so that I can collect them together and share online.

✓ Uh, I definitely run to take their beautiful HD photos so that I can collect them together and share them online.

Missing object 'them' after 'share' makes the verb phrase incomplete. When sharing something, include the object: 'share them online'. This clarifies what is being shared and completes the sentence structure.

× I would definitely choose views in the rural areas because it's, it's more natural.

✓ I would definitely choose views in rural areas because they're more natural.

'The rural areas' is unnecessary with a general meaning; use zero article 'rural areas'. Also 'it’s' refers to singular but 'views' is plural, so use plural pronoun 'they're'. Ensure pronoun agrees with the noun number.

× I mean, in the city center we're used to seeing skyscrapers and high in tall buildings.

✓ I mean, in the city center we're used to seeing skyscrapers and tall buildings.

Phrase 'high in tall buildings' is ungrammatical and redundant. Use the adjective 'tall' directly with 'buildings'. Remove the extra words to form a correct noun phrase.

× While I didn't have much of a chance to visit my own country and see it's beautiful nature and views, and neither did I have a chance to visit abroad, I would definitely, uh, choose the views from other countries.

✓ While I didn't have much of a chance to visit my own country and see its beautiful nature and views, and neither did I have a chance to travel abroad, I would definitely choose the views of other countries.

Use possessive pronoun 'its' (not 'it's' which is a contraction for 'it is'). 'Visit abroad' is awkward; use 'travel abroad'. Also 'views from other countries' is acceptable but 'views of other countries' is more natural. Removed filler 'uh' and redundant commas for clarity.

× And their vibrant colors are really appealing.

✓ Their vibrant colors are really appealing.

Sentence began with 'And' in spoken transcript; grammatically the core sentence 'Their vibrant colors are really appealing.' is fine. No pronoun error in context because 'their' correctly refers to 'flowers'. Removed leading conjunction for written clarity.