Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Cấu trúc câu chưa rõ ràng và có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp (ví dụ: “other taking”, “wild flying”). Nội dung lặp lại và thiếu liên kết; nên mở đầu trực tiếp trả lời, dùng câu ngắn gọn, sửa lỗi động từ và danh từ, đồng thời bổ sung một hoặc hai chi tiết cụ thể về địa điểm hoặc cảm xúc. Hạn chế tiếng lấp đầy như “uh” và dùng từ vựng phù hợp (e.g., “wildlife”, “scenery”, “phone camera”).

예시: Yes, I love taking photos of different views, especially breathtaking mountains and colorful flower fields. I also enjoy photographing small wildlife like birds and squirrels. At the moment I usually use my phone because I can't afford professional equipment, but I still try to capture good compositions and lighting.

제안: Câu trả lời mâu thuẫn với việc dùng từ không chính xác (“refer a blue views to urban ones”) và cấu trúc câu lộn xộn. Nên bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề rõ ràng (rural or urban), giải thích lý do với các chi tiết cụ thể, dùng liên từ để nối ý (for example, because, whereas). Tránh lỗi ngữ pháp với danh từ và tính từ (“blue views” không rõ nghĩa).

예시: I prefer rural views because I grew up in the countryside and appreciate the fresh air and open green landscapes. For example, I enjoy walking in fields and listening to birds, which feels more relaxing than the busy, stressful city streets.

제안: Trả lời lặp lại nhiều và nhiều tiếng lấp đầy khiến ý không rõ ràng. Cần nêu rõ ưu tiên (nước mình hay nước khác) rồi giải thích lý do ngắn gọn, kèm ví dụ cụ thể. Sửa ngữ pháp (ví dụ: “they beautiful” → “they are beautiful”) và dùng từ chính xác về khả năng tài chính (e.g., “I can't afford to travel right now”).

예시: I appreciate views both in my country and abroad because each place has unique scenery. However, I haven't traveled much overseas yet because I can't afford it at the moment, so I focus on exploring beautiful spots near my home.

× Uh, other taking pictures of different views is basically breathtaking mountains, lots green spaces and colorful flowers.

✓ Uh, I enjoy taking pictures of different views, especially breathtaking mountains, lots of green spaces, and colorful flowers.

The original sentence has incorrect structure and missing subject; 'other' is incorrect and 'lots green spaces' misses 'of' or 'lots of'. Rearranged to a clear subject 'I enjoy' and added 'especially' to list examples; inserted 'lots of' and commas for clarity. Suggestions: always include a subject and verb, use 'lots of' before plural nouns, and list items with commas.

× I enjoy photographing small animals and wild flying, but at the moment I don't have the money to buy new equipment so usually use my phone.

✓ I enjoy photographing small animals and birds in flight, but at the moment I don't have the money to buy new equipment so I usually use my phone.

The phrase 'wild flying' is ungrammatical; 'birds in flight' or 'animals in the wild' is correct. Also missing subject 'I' before 'usually use my phone'. Suggestions: choose appropriate noun phrases (e.g. 'birds in flight') and include the subject for verbs.

× I refer a blue views to urban ones because I grew up in the countryside, I enjoy the fresh and beautiful atmosphere there, and I like the open green landscapes more than the busy stress of the city.

✓ I prefer urban views because I grew up in the countryside; however, I enjoy the fresh and beautiful atmosphere there, and I like the open green landscapes more than the stressful busyness of the city.

The original used 'refer a blue views' which is incorrect; correct verb is 'prefer' and 'a' and 'blue' are wrong. Also 'busy stress' is awkward; use 'stressful busyness' or 'the city's busy atmosphere'. Suggestions: use 'prefer' for choices, ensure articles agree with nouns, and choose idiomatic expressions like 'stressful' or 'busyness'.

× I, I love the views, uh, on the views as well as they beautiful and, and breathtaking.

✓ I love the views there as well because they are beautiful and breathtaking.

The phrase 'on the views' is incorrect and 'they beautiful' lacks the verb 'are'. Replaced with 'there' and added 'are' to form a correct clause. Suggestions: ensure pronouns like 'they' are followed by a verb; use 'there' to refer to places.

× But now, uh, at the moment, I don't have, uh, enough money to travel to those beautiful places.

✓ But at the moment I don't have enough money to travel to those beautiful places.

Sentence is mostly correct but had unnecessary filled pauses and commas. Simplified to present tense statement. Suggestions: remove filler words and avoid extra commas.

× Uh, I have to work hard and earn more money if I have strength.

✓ I have to work hard and earn more money if I have the energy.

'If I have strength' is unnatural in this context; 'if I have the energy' or 'if I'm able' is idiomatic. Also 'have to' correctly expresses necessity. Suggestions: use natural collocations like 'have the energy' or 'am able to'.