Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific details using linking words. Avoid fillers (‘like’, ‘really’) and contradictory phrases (‘should really shouldn’t’).

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. For example, when I see a stunning landscape or city skyline, I immediately take a photo because the light and composition catch my eye.

제안: Give a direct preference and explain with specific contrasting reasons. Use clear linking words (however, although, because) and avoid unclear words (‘waves’, ‘depots’). Keep to two or three sentences.

예시: I prefer urban views because they offer striking architecture and lively street scenes. However, I also enjoy rural views since they reveal peaceful landscapes and everyday life, which contrasts with the city.

제안: Answer directly and give specific examples. Correct vocabulary (e.g. ‘views’, ‘skies’, ‘steps’ → ‘skies’, ‘steppes’) and avoid vague fillers. Use linking words to connect reasons (for example, because, and).

예시: I prefer views in my own country, Mongolia, because it has vast open landscapes and exceptionally dark skies. For example, I can photograph the Milky Way and the rolling green steppes, which are hard to find elsewhere.

× Yes, I like taking a picture of different views because I am like more into a photography person so I take a photograph of different.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because I am more into photography, so I take photographs of different scenes.

The student used incorrect pronouns and awkward phrasing: 'a photography person' should be 'into photography' and 'a picture of different views' should be plural 'pictures' to match the general activity. Also 'different' needs a noun: 'different scenes'. Use consistent plural nouns when speaking about a habitual activity.

× Use when I see like when I think like, wow, that's really beautiful.

✓ I take photos when I see something and think, 'Wow, that's really beautiful.'

The original fragment has poor sentence structure and repeated filler words 'like' and missing subjects. The corrected sentence adds a clear subject and verb and removes unnecessary fillers. Preserve natural speech but avoid excessive 'like'.

× I should really shouldn't shoot this photo.

✓ I feel like I should shoot this photo.

The original combines contradictory modal verbs 'should' and 'shouldn't', causing a contradiction. Use a single clear modal verb. 'I feel like I should' expresses the intended meaning.

× So I like taking pictures of different views.

✓ So I like taking pictures of different views.

This sentence is already correct; plural 'pictures' matches 'different views'. No change needed. Included to show checked item.

× I think I prefer waves of urban areas because like it can outstand most.

✓ I think I prefer views of urban areas because they can stand out the most.

'Waves' is incorrect; 'views' is intended. 'Outstand' is not used; use 'stand out'. Subject-verb agreement: 'they can stand out' refers to 'views'. Replace filler 'like'.

× Also also I like rural areas because like it can show the difference between urban depots or rural people.

✓ I also like rural areas because they show the differences between urban and rural people.

Use 'they' to refer to 'rural areas' (plural). 'Depots' is incorrect for 'people'; the phrase 'urban and rural people' is clearer. Remove filler 'like' and duplicate 'also'.

× So it can like differentiate people's lives.

✓ So they can highlight the differences in people's lives.

Use a clear subject 'they' (the areas or scenes) and a stronger verb 'highlight' or 'show' rather than 'differentiate' which usually requires two things to be compared. Remove filler 'like'.

× But for me I prefer. Open areas.

✓ But for me, I prefer open areas.

The original sentence is broken into fragments and has incorrect punctuation. Combine into one sentence with a comma after the introductory phrase. Keep 'open areas' as the object.

× I think I prefer waves of like in my own country because I live in Mongolia, so Mongolia has a lot of like.

✓ I think I prefer views in my own country because I live in Mongolia, and Mongolia has a lot to offer.

Replace 'waves' with 'views' and remove filler 'like'. 'A lot to offer' is a natural English phrase; the original trailing 'has a lot of like' is incomplete.

× It has endless depth and I can take a really good Skype.

✓ It has vast open spaces and I can take really good sky photos.

'Endless depth' is awkward; 'vast open spaces' is more natural. 'Skype' is incorrect (a software name); context implies 'sky photos'. Use 'sky photos' or 'pictures of the sky'.

× Pictures of night sky, the Galaxy or stargazing and also it has like very green grassy steps.

✓ I can take pictures of the night sky, the galaxy, or go stargazing, and it also has very green grassy steppes.

Add articles 'the night sky' and 'the galaxy'. 'Stargazing' is an activity; rephrase to parallel list. 'Steps' likely meant 'steppes' (wide grasslands) when referring to Mongolia. Keep adjectives in correct order: 'very green grassy steppes'.