Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and finish your thoughts. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons or examples, using linking words to improve coherence. Avoid incomplete sentences and vague phrases like “I believe that an object is.”

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because travelling lets me capture unique scenes. For example, when I visit a market I focus on the colors and textures of stalls, and when I visit a mountain I photograph the changing light. This variety keeps photography interesting for me.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence, then support it with a specific reason and an example. Use linking words (for example, because, therefore) to make your answer more coherent and avoid general phrases like “everything that the urban area cannot offer.”

예시: I prefer views in rural areas because I love natural landscapes. For example, I enjoy photographing mountain trails and wildflower fields because they offer peaceful scenes and varied colors that I can't find in the city.

제안: Structure your answer with a clear contrast using linking words (however, whereas). Be specific about what you like in each place and avoid filler words like “you know.” Provide one concrete example for each preference.

예시: I prefer natural views in my own country, the Philippines, because of its lush forests and rice terraces. However, for cityscapes I prefer the USA, for example New York's skyline and modern architecture, which offer striking angles for photos.

× Definitely, since I am a traveller and I've always seen the beauty in all things and I believe that an object is.

✓ Definitely. Since I am a traveller, I've always seen the beauty in all things, and I believe that every object has beauty.

Original sentence is run-on and ends abruptly with 'an object is' which is incomplete. This is a sentence structure error (ID 26). Combine ideas into clear sentences and complete the thought by specifying what you believe about objects. Use punctuation to separate clauses and add the verb phrase 'has beauty' to complete the sentence.

× I mean, an object has different angles if you're just willing to look at it.

✓ I mean, an object shows different angles if you are just willing to look at it.

The original is acceptable but 'you're' is informal contraction; to match speaking-test tone, expand and use a clearer verb. This was flagged as present participle/verb choice (ID 10). Replacing 'has' with 'shows' clarifies meaning and using 'you are' improves formality. Ensure verb choice accurately reflects intended meaning.

× Since I've mentioned that I really love nature, I've always preferred the views and scenes in rural areas because I've seen lots of beautiful plants and mountains and everything that the urban area cannot offer.

✓ As I mentioned, I really love nature, so I have always preferred rural views and scenes because I have seen many beautiful plants, mountains, and other things that urban areas cannot offer.

Original contains awkward phrasing and redundancy ('Since I've mentioned' and 'I've always preferred' together) and inconsistent singular/plural ('urban area' vs 'urban areas'). This is a sentence structure error (ID 26) and minor singular/plural issue (ID 1). Improve by simplifying the opening phrase, using consistent plural forms, and replacing 'lots of' with 'many' for clarity.

× I would definitely prefer the views in my own country, the Philippines, in terms of the greenish things or the, you know, the plants and everything, the natural resources.

✓ I would definitely prefer the views in my own country, the Philippines, in terms of greenery, plants, and natural resources.

Original uses informal filler words and awkward phrase 'the greenish things or the, you know, the plants and everything.' This is an article/word-choice error (ID 22) and style issue. Use the uncountable noun 'greenery' and list items clearly without filler. Remove unnecessary articles and informal phrases for clarity.

× But when we are talking about the city life and buildings, well then I prefer the USA.

✓ However, when talking about city life and buildings, I prefer the United States.

Original has informal discourse markers ('well then') and uses 'the USA' which is acceptable but 'the United States' is more formal. This is a sentence structure/style error (ID 26). Remove filler words, use a smoother connector ('However') and the more formal country name to fit speaking-test register.