Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Improve accuracy, fluency and coherence: correct mistakes, reduce hesitation, and make the answer more natural and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details and an example. Use linking words (because, so) to connect ideas and avoid redundant phrases.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views because it helps me keep memories of places I visit. For example, when I travel I always photograph landscapes and street scenes so I can remember the atmosphere and details later.

제안: Clarify meaning and fix grammar/word choice. Begin with a clear statement of preference, then give specific reasons and a brief comparison. Use linking words (because, although) and avoid contradictions. Correct collocations (e.g., 'calm' not 'calmly'; 'crowded' applies to urban areas).

예시: I prefer rural views because they feel calm and relaxing. For instance, the countryside usually has open fields and fewer people, whereas urban areas are often crowded and noisy, so I find rural scenery more peaceful.

제안: Make the comparison clearer and fix grammar. State your conclusion first, then explain reasons and give a brief example. Remove repetitions and hesitations, and use linking words (although, but, because) to structure the answer.

예시: Although my country has many beautiful views, I prefer views in other countries because traveling abroad feels like a dream and offers new cultures and scenery. For example, visiting a foreign city allowed me to photograph unique architecture that I don't see at home.

× Yes, I like to talk photos of different views of everything or everywhere I went to because it is my umm, my way of storing memories of the things.

✓ Yes, I like to take photos of different views of everything or everywhere I go because it is, umm, my way of storing memories of things.

Errors: 'talk photos' is incorrect verb choice; correct verb is 'take' (Verb + object). Tense inconsistency: 'everywhere I went to' mixes past with present general habit; use present simple 'everywhere I go'. Extra articles/words: 'the things' is unnecessary; use 'things'. Suggestion: use appropriate verb collocations ('take photos') and keep habitual actions in present simple, remove unnecessary articles.

× I would say that I prefer more of the rural areas because I find the view very calmly and very relaxing and like in rural where I find it, umm, crowded because there were more people in urban than in.

✓ I would say that I prefer rural areas because I find the views calm and very relaxing; rural places are less crowded because there are more people in urban areas than in rural ones.

Errors: 'prefer more of the rural areas' is awkward—use 'prefer rural areas'. 'find the view very calmly' uses adverb 'calmly' incorrectly; need adjective 'calm' to describe 'views'. Tense and agreement: 'there were more people in urban than in' is incomplete and mixes tenses; use present simple for general statements: 'there are more people in urban areas than in rural ones'. Sentence structure: long run-on sentence; break into clearer clauses. Suggestion: use correct adjective/adverb forms and maintain consistent tense for general preferences.

× I would say that I that there is a lot of beautiful views in my country, but I prefer the views in another country is because it always feels like a dream to have the opportunity to go and visit the other countries and see, uh.

✓ I would say that there are many beautiful views in my country, but I prefer the views in other countries because it always feels like a dream to have the opportunity to visit them.

Errors: 'I would say that I that there is' has extra words and a subject-verb agreement issue: 'a lot of beautiful views' should be 'many beautiful views' and requires plural verb 'there are' (Singular/plural and there be issues). 'the views in another country is' has subject-verb disagreement and wrong article; use plural 'views in other countries' and 'because' plus clause. 'to go and visit the other countries and see' is wordy; simplify to 'visit them'. Suggestion: remove redundant words, use correct 'there are' for plural existence, match subject and verb number, and simplify pronoun references.