Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence expressing your current view, then briefly explain the change and give a specific reason or example. Avoid repetition and filler words. Use linking words like 'however' or 'now' to show contrast.

예시: I used to dislike taking photos because I felt it took away from seeing the view with my own eyes. However, now I take photos to preserve memories and revisit special moments later; for example, I often look back at pictures from trips to remember details I might otherwise forget.

제안: Answer directly with a clear preference and add a specific reason. Remove meta-comments about the question being frequently asked. Use linking words like 'because' to connect your reason and give one concrete example of what you enjoy in rural views.

예시: I prefer rural views because living in a busy city makes me crave green spaces and fresh air. For example, I enjoy walking among trees and listening to birds, which helps me relax after a noisy week in the city.

제안: Give a direct answer and support it with clear reasons and a specific example. Avoid repetition and incomplete words. Mention one or two qualities of views in your country and explain why they matter to you.

예시: I prefer the natural views in my own country, Vietnam, because it has stunning landscapes like terraced rice fields and tropical beaches. For instance, I love visiting Ha Long Bay and Sapa, where the scenery and local culture make each trip memorable, so I would happily spend money exploring more of Vietnam.

× To be honest, I used to, I used to dislike it because it, it ripped off the chain to, you know, to experience, to see the view with my direct eyes and I just hate that I did.

✓ To be honest, I used to dislike it because it took away the chance to, you know, experience seeing the view with my own eyes and I hated doing that.

This sentence contains past tense problems and awkward verb choices. 'Ripped off the chain' is incorrect idiomatically; use 'took away the chance' to express loss of opportunity. 'I just hate that I did' mixes present 'hate' with past action; change to past 'I hated doing that' to match 'used to' and 'took'. Also simplify redundant 'I used to, I used to' and remove repeated fillers. Improve word choice for clarity.

× But now I think it's a good way to keep the Cam memories and to see it when you miss it.

✓ But now I think it's a good way to keep the camera memories and to see them when you miss the view.

The gerund/participle forms need correct agreement and noun use. 'Cam' should be 'camera' and 'memories' is plural, so the pronoun referring back should be 'them' rather than 'it'. Also specify 'the view' for clarity.

× Umm, that is a question that is very frequently asked to me and very frequently asked because.

✓ Umm, that is a question people ask me very frequently.

The original is wordy and includes an incomplete clause 'and very frequently asked because' which is ungrammatical (sentence fragment). Simplify structure: use active voice 'people ask me' and place 'very frequently' after the verb for natural word order.

× But I'm actually living in an urban area so I'm tired of it and I want to see something more with green colours and wind and trees, you know?

✓ But I actually live in an urban area, so I'm tired of it and I want to see more greenery, wind, and trees, you know?

Use simple present 'I actually live' for current state rather than progressive 'I'm actually living' (both possible but simple is more natural here). 'See something more with green colours' is unnatural; use 'see more greenery'. Also commas improve readability.

× That I said before, I like the nature views, the natural view.

✓ As I said before, I like natural scenery and nature views.

'That I said before' is incorrect word order; use 'As I said before'. 'The nature views, the natural view' is repetitive; combine into 'natural scenery and nature views' for clarity.

× So my country, Vietnam is an absolutely the best joy for it to my to my in in my opinion, beca and I would spend a lot of money in traveling around my country.

✓ So my country, Vietnam, is absolutely the best place for that, in my opinion, and I would spend a lot of money traveling around it.

Multiple grammatical problems: extra 'the' before 'best' is incorrect; 'best joy for it to my to my' is garbled—replace with 'best place for that'. Use 'in my opinion' correctly placed. 'Spend a lot of money in traveling' should be 'spend a lot of money traveling' and refer back to 'Vietnam' with 'it'. Clean up repetition and word order.