Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Reduce fillers and redundancies, use a clear topic sentence plus one or two specific supporting details. Keep answers within 3–4 concise sentences and use linking words (for example, because, so) to improve coherence.

예시: Yes, I really enjoy taking photographs of different views because photography helps me relax and capture memories. For example, I often photograph sunsets and cityscapes to remember how they looked, and doing so makes me feel refreshed and inspired.

제안: Correct grammar and tighten structure: start with a clear topic sentence, then give two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid vague phrases and unnecessary repetition.

예시: I prefer rural views because they offer much more green space and greater biodiversity. For instance, I moved from a busy city centre to a semi-rural area to escape traffic and noise, so I can enjoy cleaner air and a more peaceful lifestyle.

제안: Organize your response: give a direct answer, then explain with one or two clear reasons and a specific example. Fix grammar and avoid contradictions (e.g., say whether you have travelled abroad).

예시: I would prefer to see views in other countries because I have not travelled abroad yet and I am curious about different landscapes and cultures. For example, I would like to visit Japan to photograph its mountains and temples, which would be a new experience compared with places I have already seen at home.

× Definitely yes uh, photography is also one of my pastime hobby and it helps me to unwind from my daily stress as well as I feel more enthusiastic and energetic after keeping uh up a memory of uh, something beautiful.

✓ Definitely, yes. Photography is one of my pastimes and it helps me unwind from daily stress; I also feel more enthusiastic and energetic after preserving a memory of something beautiful.

Incorrect adjective/noun collocation: 'pastime hobby' is redundant because pastime and hobby are synonyms; use plural 'pastimes' for activities. 'Unwind from my daily stress' should be 'unwind from daily stress' (adverb usage); 'keeping up a memory' is awkward — use 'preserving a memory'. The sentence was long and needed punctuation to improve clarity.

× I prefer views in rural area because it has lot more green space and rich in biodiversity.

✓ I prefer views in rural areas because they have a lot more green space and are rich in biodiversity.

Singular/plural mismatch: 'rural area' should be plural 'rural areas' to match general preference; 'it has' refers to singular but 'areas' require 'they have'. Missing quantifier 'a' before 'lot' and correct phrase is 'a lot more'. Also 'rich in biodiversity' needs verb 'are' for agreement.

× This is only reason I shifted from UH city centre which was in bustling city to the semi rural area so I can enjoy the healthy and pleasant environment free from traffic, noise and live my life more.

✓ This is the main reason I moved from the city centre to a semi-rural area so I could enjoy a healthier, more pleasant environment free from traffic and noise and live my life more peacefully.

Sentence structure issues and article errors: missing article 'the' before 'main reason' and 'city centre'. 'Shifted from UH city centre which was in bustling city' is awkward; simplify to 'moved from the city centre'. Use 'semi-rural' with hyphen and include 'a' before it. Tense consistency: past 'moved' and modal 'could' match the reason. Added adverb 'peacefully' to complete 'live my life more'.

× Umm, so I love to take pictures of diverse views.

✓ So, I love taking pictures of various views.

Verb form and adverb choice: 'love to take' is acceptable but 'love taking' is more natural here (gerund after 'love'). 'Diverse' is acceptable but 'various' is more natural collocation with 'views'.

× I have never been to any other country so I really want to see the view of across the globe actually because I have explored my country enough and I enjoyed all those views and I really feel boring to revisit in those places.

✓ I have never been to another country, so I really want to see views across the globe because I have explored my country enough and enjoyed those sights; I would be bored to revisit the same places.

Tense and word choice issues: 'any other country' -> 'another country' is more natural. 'See the view of across the globe' is ungrammatical; use 'see views across the globe'. Keep present perfect 'have explored' and simple past 'enjoyed' is acceptable but better to remove extra 'I'. 'I really feel boring to revisit in those places' is incorrect: 'feel boring' should be 'would be bored' and delete 'in' after 'revisit'.

× So I am exploring lots of other.

✓ So I am exploring many other places.

Incomplete sentence: 'lots of other' is fragmentary; it needs a noun like 'places'. Use 'many' or 'a lot of' + noun. Present continuous 'am exploring' is fine here.