Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and reduce fillers ("umm", "uh"). Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Use varied vocabulary (e.g., "capture memories", "compose shots"). Keep to no more than 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views when I travel. For example, I often capture sunrise scenes to preserve special memories, and I upload my best shots to social media. I also like to experiment with composition and lighting to create more interesting images.

제안: Give a clear preference or explain balance more smoothly. Use a topic sentence that directly answers the choice (or states 'both'), then add specific contrasting details with linking words (e.g., "however", "whereas"). Avoid grammar mistakes like "depends" without subject agreement.

예시: I don't have a strong preference; I enjoy both urban and rural views. Urban areas appeal to me because of lively nightlife and dynamic architecture, whereas the countryside attracts me for its calm atmosphere and scenic landscapes.

제안: Clarify and complete your answer with fewer repetitions and fillers. Start with a direct statement, then explain with one specific reason and an example. Fix grammar (e.g., "I prefer staying in countries with beautiful beaches because their relaxed atmosphere helps me unwind").

예시: I prefer views in other countries, mainly because I love beachside scenery. For instance, I enjoy staying in coastal towns with clear water and soft sand, as their relaxed atmosphere helps me unwind and creates memorable views.

× I'll I enjoy taking pictures of different views when I travel, umm, I like to capture pictures so I can remember that special moment in my future.

✓ I enjoy taking pictures of different views when I travel; I like to capture them so I can remember those special moments in the future.

The original sentence contains an extraneous 'I'll' and inconsistent pronoun references. Remove 'I'll' because it is unnecessary and disrupts the sentence. Use the pronoun 'them' to refer back to 'pictures' and 'those special moments' to match plural 'pictures'. Also replace 'in my future' with 'in the future' for natural English. Use a semicolon or a period to separate the independent clauses.

× Uh, I upload my pictures on social media.

✓ I upload my pictures to social media.

The preposition 'on' is commonly used for specific platforms but 'to' is more natural when talking about uploading to social media in general. This change fixes preposition usage for the verb 'upload'.

× I like to experiment, uh, taking pictures from different angles or different lighting.

✓ I like to experiment by taking pictures from different angles and under different lighting.

The original has a dangling gerund phrase after 'experiment'. Use 'by taking' to link the verb 'experiment' to the action, and change 'or different lighting' to 'and under different lighting' for parallel and natural phrasing.

× I have no specific views in urban area, rural area.

✓ I have no specific preference for urban or rural areas.

The original omits articles and uses 'views' incorrectly. Use 'preference' to convey choice, and include plural 'areas' with no article or use 'the' if specific. This corrects article and word-choice issues.

× The areas depends on the company or the moment.

✓ The area depends on the company or the moment.

Subject-verb agreement requires the singular subject to match the singular verb 'depends'. Either change 'areas' to 'area' or change the verb to 'depend'. Here 'area' fits the intended meaning.

× I really like the cities, the nightlife and on the other hand the countryside is more calm and pleasant.

✓ I really like cities and their nightlife, and on the other hand, the countryside is calmer and more pleasant.

Remove unnecessary definite articles before general plural nouns: 'cities' not 'the cities' when speaking generally. Also add possessive 'their' for 'nightlife', change 'is more calm' to comparative 'is calmer', and include commas for clarity.

× I prefer views in other countries because I love beachside views.

✓ I prefer views in other countries because I love beachside scenery.

'Beachside views' is acceptable, but 'beachside scenery' is a more natural collocation. Preposition 'in' is fine; this suggestion improves word choice rather than fixing a strict grammatical error.

× I prefer staying at uh I love to stay in the countries where beaches are lovely So because of their recent, uh, calm and relaxing nature and the views that make my.

✓ I prefer staying in countries with lovely beaches because of their calm, relaxing atmosphere and the beautiful views.

The original is fragmented, contains repetition and an incomplete ending ('that make my'). Combine ideas into a single coherent sentence: 'prefer staying in countries with lovely beaches' and 'because of their calm, relaxing atmosphere and the beautiful views'. Remove filler words like 'uh' and 'so' and correct 'recent' which is inappropriate here.