Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and natural: start with a clear topic sentence, avoid hesitation and repetition, correct grammar (use 'who' not 'which', and consistent verb forms), and give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Keep to 2–4 sentences and vary vocabulary (e.g., 'scenery', 'landscapes').

예시: I love photographing different views because I'm very attracted to natural scenery. For example, I often take pictures of sunrises, sunsets and mountain landscapes, as the changing light makes each scene unique.

제안: Open with a clear preference sentence, correct grammar (subject-verb agreement: 'they provide' or 'rural areas provide'), reduce filler words ('uh'), and use linking words to explain reasons. Provide one specific example or sensory detail to strengthen your answer.

예시: I prefer views in rural areas because they provide more peace and a stronger connection to nature. For instance, I enjoy listening to birds and streams there, which is far more relaxing than the constant traffic noise in cities.

제안: This answer repeats the previous response and does not address the question about 'own country vs other countries.' Give a direct topic sentence answering the choice, then briefly justify with specific reasons or an example. Avoid repeating unrelated content and correct grammar.

예시: I prefer views in other countries because traveling lets me see different landscapes and cultures. For example, photographing rice terraces in Southeast Asia or fjords in Norway gives me perspectives I can't find at home.

× I am a person which is, are really interested or which is very, really attracted by nature.

✓ I am a person who is really interested in nature.

Incorrect relative pronoun and verb agreement: 'which' is used for things, not people; 'who' is correct for people. The phrase 'are really interested' mismatches singular subject 'a person'. Also use 'interested in' not 'interested by'. Suggestion: use 'who is' for a singular person and 'interested in' to show what attracts them.

× Uh, and I often like to take pictures of sunset, sunset or sunrise and even different mountains.

✓ I often like to take pictures of sunsets, sunrises, and different mountains.

Singular/plural consistency and article use: when speaking generally about these events, plural forms 'sunsets' and 'sunrises' are preferred. Also list items should be separated by commas and include 'and' before the last item. Suggestion: use plural nouns for repeated/general activities.

× So yeah, I definitely, I am a person who likes taking pictures of different views.

✓ So yeah, I definitely am a person who likes taking pictures of different views.

Redundant commas disrupt sentence flow and subject-verb relationship: 'I definitely, I am' is awkward. Combine into 'I definitely am' or 'I am definitely' to maintain correct word order. The verb 'likes' correctly agrees with 'a person who' (third person singular).

× Obviously views are, uh, beautiful, uh, wherever they are, but uh, I love views in the rural areas, uh, since it provide more peace and we can connect more with the nature in the rural areas since it has a sound of nature more than the sound of traffic.

✓ Obviously views are beautiful wherever they are, but I prefer views in rural areas because they provide more peace and we can connect more with nature there; rural areas have natural sounds more than traffic noise.

Multiple issues: 'the rural areas' and 'the nature' use unnecessary definite articles; 'rural areas' and 'nature' are uncountable/general. Subject-verb agreement error: 'it provide' should be 'they provide' because 'rural areas' is plural. Also wording and redundancy: simplify repeated clauses and replace 'sound of nature' with 'natural sounds' and 'sound of traffic' with 'traffic noise'. Suggestion: remove unnecessary 'the', match verb number to subject, and tighten phrasing.

× Obviously views are, uh, beautiful, uh, wherever they are, but uh, I love views in the rural areas, uh, since it provide more peace and we can connect more with the nature in the rural areas since it has a sound of nature more than the sound of traffic.

✓ Obviously views are beautiful wherever they are, but I prefer views in rural areas because they provide more peace and we can connect more with nature there; rural areas have natural sounds rather than traffic noise.

This repeats the previous sentence (student answered the same twice). Same problems apply: remove repeated filler words, use plural agreement 'they provide', avoid 'the nature', and replace awkward phrases with natural collocations like 'connect with nature' and 'traffic noise'. Suggestion: avoid repeating entire answers and focus on concise phrasing.