Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: 答えは肯定的で意図は伝わりますが、文法や語順に誤りがあり、表現が繰り返しで冗長です。具体性が不足しており、リンク詞もほとんど使われていません。次の点を改善してください：1) 主語と目的語の一致と冠詞の使用を確認する（e.g. "the sea", "a park", "flowers"）。2) 文を2～3文に分け、トピック文→具体例の順で答える。3) 接続詞（because, and, for example）を適切に使い、情報を整理する。4) 具体的な例や頻度を付け加える（how often, which places）。

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views. For example, I often photograph the sea and parks because I like capturing natural scenes such as flowers and trees. I usually go out at weekends to find new places to photograph.

제안: 答えは明確で一貫していますが、表現がやや単調で語彙の重複（"beautiful"の繰り返し）や不自然なフレーズ（"new nature"、"white sky"）があります。改善ポイント：1) 同じ意味の語を繰り返さない（use synonyms: picturesque, serene）。2) 理由を1文で簡潔に述べ、具体例を付ける（e.g. specific landscapesやactivities）。3) 接続詞（because, so）を自然に使う。

예시: I prefer rural views because they are more peaceful and picturesque. For instance, I enjoy photographing rolling hills, wildflowers, and wide-open skies, which you rarely find in a city.

제안: 意味は伝わりますが語彙ミス（"bills"は誤り）や不自然な表現（"watch new views", "experience the new scenes"）が目立ちます。また理由が抽象的で具体性が乏しいです。改善点：1) 語彙ミスを直す（"buildings"や"views"など正しい語を使う）。2) 『なぜ』を具体的に説明する（different architecture, culture, light conditions など）。3) 例を一つ挙げ、接続語で流れを良くする。

예시: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy discovering different architecture and landscapes. For example, I like photographing historic streets in Europe or colorful markets in Asia, which offer patterns and colors I rarely see at home.

× I often take a picture and for example their view of sea and parks such as nature and I like to take a photo flowers.

✓ I often take pictures of the sea and parks, such as natural areas, and I like to take photos of flowers.

The student used 'a picture' and 'a photo flowers' incorrectly and 'their view' incorrectly refers to people. Use plural 'pictures/photos' for habitual actions. Use 'of' to show what is being photographed and 'the sea' with the definite article. Combine ideas with commas for clarity. Suggestions: use plural nouns for repeated actions, use 'of' after 'picture/photo', and use correct articles (the sea).

× It's because I'd like to take a photo in new nature such as beautiful flowers and beautiful white sky.

✓ It's because I'd like to take photos in new natural places, such as of beautiful flowers and clear white skies.

The phrase 'new nature' is unnatural and 'take a photo in' is awkward; use 'take photos in' or 'of'. 'Beautiful white sky' should be plural 'skies' or 'a beautiful white sky' depending on meaning. Suggestions: use 'natural places' or 'in nature', and use 'photos of' followed by plural forms for general preference.

× I prefer bills in other countries.

✓ I prefer views in other countries.

The word 'bills' is incorrect in this context—likely a mispronunciation or wrong lexical choice. The student meant 'views'. Suggestions: use the correct noun 'views' when talking about scenery.

× It's because I'd like to watch new views and experience the new scenes and take a photo.

✓ It's because I'd like to see new views, experience new scenes, and take photos.

Parallel structure requires consistent verb forms; use base verbs 'see', 'experience', 'take' (or all '-ing' forms). Also 'watch new views' is odd; 'see' or 'view' is better. Use plural 'photos' for general activities. Suggestions: keep verbs parallel and choose verbs appropriate for scenery (see/view).