Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and grammatically accurate. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (ums, ahs), and limit to about 2–4 sentences. Replace informal or awkward phrases like "I'm obsessed and so into with travel" with natural expressions such as "I love traveling". Add one specific detail (what you photograph or why) and use a linking word if you add a reason.

예시: Yes, I love taking pictures when I travel. I usually photograph landscapes and candid moments to remember special experiences, so I try to capture the light and atmosphere that made the place memorable.

제안: Give a clear topic sentence stating your preference or say you have no fixed preference, then support it with specific contrasts using linking words. Avoid repetition and vague words like "so emotional" — explain what you mean. Correct grammar (singular/plural, verbs). Keep it to 2–4 sentences.

예시: I don't have a fixed preference; it depends on my mood. For example, I enjoy urban views for their lively streets and architecture, while rural views appeal to me because of their peaceful nature and wide open spaces.

제안: Provide a clear, balanced response: begin with a direct statement of preference, then give 1–2 specific reasons and an example. Avoid exaggerated claims like "the most beautiful country in the world" unless you qualify them as personal opinion. Fix small grammar issues (e.g., "sometimes", "solo travel" → "travel alone").

예시: I prefer views in my own country because I know the culture and scenery well and feel a strong sense of pride. However, I also enjoy traveling abroad occasionally to discover different landscapes; for instance, I once visited a coastal town overseas that had very different light and colors compared with Vietnam.

× Of course I'm obsessed and so into with travel, so I like to take a photo to, umm, take some photo of our memorable, uh, experiences and, uh, wonderful view.

✓ Of course I'm obsessed with travel, so I like to take photos of our memorable experiences and wonderful views.

The original has redundant and incorrect prepositions ('so into with travel') and incorrect verb/preposition collocations. Use 'obsessed with' not 'obsessed and so into with'. 'Take a photo to' is incorrect; use 'take photos of' to indicate photographing things. Use plural 'photos' and 'views' to match general meaning. Remove filler words for clarity.

× I think it depend, it depend on my mood, you know, because I'm so emotional.

✓ I think it depends on my mood, you know, because I'm very emotional.

Subject-verb agreement requires third person singular present 'depends' after 'it'. Also 'so emotional' is acceptable but 'very emotional' is clearer. Correcting tense/number makes the sentence grammatical.

× Sometimes I like urban areas, sometimes I just like rural area.

✓ Sometimes I like urban areas; sometimes I just like rural areas.

Use plural 'rural areas' to match 'urban areas' and to indicate general preference. Parallel structure improves clarity.

× It's different. Uh, urban area have a lively style and rural area will have some kind of natural.

✓ It's different. Urban areas have a lively atmosphere, and rural areas have a more natural feel.

Plural subjects 'urban areas' and 'rural areas' require plural verb 'have'. 'Lively style' is unnatural; use 'lively atmosphere'. 'Some kind of natural' is ungrammatical; 'a more natural feel' conveys intended meaning.

× To be honest, I'm proud of my country. Vietnam is the most beautiful country in the world. But I love traveling so sometime I just want to solo travel to another country to see the view.

✓ To be honest, I'm proud of my country. Vietnam is one of the most beautiful countries in the world. But I love traveling, so sometimes I just want to travel solo to another country to see the views.

'The most beautiful country in the world' is an absolute claim; 'one of the most beautiful countries' is more natural and less absolute. 'Sometime' should be 'sometimes'. 'Solo travel' is better expressed as 'travel solo'. Use plural 'views'. Added comma after 'traveling' for clarity.

× But actually I prefer my own country.

✓ But actually, I prefer my own country.

Sentence is grammatically fine; added comma after 'actually' for natural pause. No plural change needed.