Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and organize your response: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words, and finish with a short concluding remark. Avoid repetition and correct basic grammar (e.g., articles, verb forms, and word order).

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. I usually take pictures to preserve memories and later share them with family or friends, so I keep them in an album. In addition, photos serve as visual proof of places I've visited, which makes it easier to talk about my experiences.

제안: Give a direct answer first (one clear preference or 'both') and then support it with specific reasons using linking words like 'however' or 'because'. Reduce filler phrases and correct phrasing (e.g., 'when I live' → 'when I live in the city').

예시: I enjoy both urban and rural views. Urban areas are interesting because of the architecture and lively atmosphere, but when I want to relax I prefer rural landscapes because they are quieter and more natural. So my choice usually depends on my mood and the purpose of the visit.

제안: Answer clearly and avoid hesitation. State your preference and give specific reasons or an example. Use correct tense and prepositions (e.g., 'I have lived in Australia for over seven years' and 'views within my country').

예시: I prefer views in other countries because they offer new cultural experiences and landscapes I haven't seen before. For example, after living in Australia for over seven years, I still enjoy travelling abroad to discover different scenery and traditions.

× Of course, absolutely, because when I take the photo I can keep the memory so put in my album.

✓ Of course, absolutely, because when I take a photo I can keep the memory and put it in my album.

The original sentence omits the object pronoun 'it' after 'put' and uses 'the photo' unnecessarily; also joining ideas with 'and' is clearer. Use 'a photo' for a general reference and include 'it' to complete the verb phrase 'put it in my album'. Suggestion: say 'put it in my album' or 'add it to my album.'

× When I next time want to share something with my friend or family, I can show them from the album.

✓ When I next want to share something with my friends or family, I can show them from the album.

'Next time' is awkwardly ordered; 'next' alone works. 'Friend or family' should be plural 'friends or family' to match 'them'. Also keep consistent plural reference. Suggestion: use 'next' or 'the next time' and match plurality (friends).

× That will be easier and you have proof to show others people.

✓ That will be easier and you will have proof to show other people.

'Others people' is incorrect; use 'other people'. Also maintain future/modal consistency: 'you will have' fits better than present 'you have' in this context. Suggestion: use 'other people' and use consistent tense or modal 'you can have'/'you will have'.

× And so I like to take the picture of the.

✓ So I like to take pictures of views.

The original sentence is incomplete and has wrong article usage 'the' with no noun. Rephrase to a complete sentence: 'take pictures of views' or 'take pictures of different views.' Suggestion: complete the object and use plural 'pictures' for general habit.

× I prefer Auburn area when I live in the city but sometimes it depends if you want to have holiday and relaxing vibe.

✓ I prefer urban areas when I live in the city, but sometimes it depends if I want a holiday and a relaxing vibe.

The student used 'Auburn area' (probably meant 'urban area') and mixed tenses/persons. Use 'urban areas' for general preference, and change 'you' to 'I' to match speaker. Add articles 'a' before 'holiday' and 'relaxing vibe'. Suggestion: use 'urban areas' and keep first person 'I' consistently.

× Maybe I will choose the rural area.

✓ Maybe I will choose the rural area.

No grammatical change needed if speaker means a specific rural area in the future; however, for general preference use plural 'rural areas' or 'the countryside'. Suggestion: consider 'rural areas' or 'the countryside' to sound natural.

× So that will depend on my mood and that time what I want to have.

✓ So that will depend on my mood and on what I want at that time.

Original word order is incorrect ('that time what I want to have'). Correct structure is 'on what I want at that time'. Also include preposition 'on' after 'depend'. Suggestion: use 'depend on my mood and on what I want at that time.'

× So basically both of them.

✓ So basically both of them.

Grammatically acceptable as a short answer, but better as a full sentence: 'Basically, I like both.' Suggestion: expand to 'I like both' for clarity.

× I prefer, uh, in different country for my personal experience.

✓ I prefer to visit different countries for my personal experience.

'Prefer in different country' is incorrect preposition and singular/plural. Use 'prefer to visit different countries' to express preference for locations. Also plural 'countries' fits. Suggestion: use 'prefer to visit different countries'.

× I stay in Australia for seven years more so be honestly, I have a lot, uh, different view, uh, with in my country.

✓ I have been staying in Australia for over seven years, so honestly I have seen many different views within my country.

Original mixes tenses and has wrong prepositions/word forms: use present perfect continuous 'have been staying' or 'have lived' for duration up to now, 'for over seven years' for duration, 'so honestly' reordered to 'so honestly', 'a lot different view' should be 'many different views', and 'with in' should be 'within'. Suggestion: use 'I have lived in Australia for over seven years' or 'I have been in Australia for over seven years' and 'seen many different views within my country.'