Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more accurate and concise. Start with a clear topic sentence, correct grammar (use gerunds/infinitives and plural forms), and add one specific detail. Use linking word if expanding. Avoid redundancy.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. For example, when I visited Mount Fuji in Japan, I took many landscape shots because I wanted to keep the memory of the scenery and the trip. The clear composition and morning light made those photos special.

제안: Provide a clear, grammatical topic sentence and give two specific reasons. Fix errors (e.g. "I prefer rural areas"; remove unclear phrase "taking a bill"). Use a linking word to connect reasons.

예시: I prefer rural areas because they are usually quieter and offer more natural scenery. For instance, I enjoy hiking on country trails and photographing wide-open fields, which is much harder to do in busy cities.

제안: Be direct and correct vocabulary (e.g. "country"). Start with a clear statement, then give one or two specific reasons and an example. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases like "help personal connecting connection."

예시: I prefer views in my own country, especially around Chiang Mai, because they feel familiar and meaningful to me. For example, I often walk with my family on the nearby mountains, and those walks let me relax and appreciate the local scenery.

× I love to taking picture of different view like when I go to Japan and I went to Fuji mountain and it's so beautiful and I want to take a memory when I come to my country.

✓ I love taking pictures of different views. For example, when I went to Japan and visited Mount Fuji it was so beautiful, and I wanted to keep a memory when I returned to my country.

The sentence has multiple issues: 'to taking' is incorrect because after 'love' you should use the gerund without 'to' (grammar problem type 8). 'Picture' and 'view' should be plural to match 'different' and general meaning (singular/plural issue, type 1). 'When I go to Japan and I went' mixes present and past tense; use past tense consistently for that past trip (past tense issue, type 5). 'Fuji mountain' should be 'Mount Fuji' (word order/name). The final clause 'I want to take a memory when I come to my country' is unnatural; use 'wanted to keep a memory when I returned to my country' to match past context. Suggestion: after verbs like 'love' use gerund (loving/ taking), keep noun number consistent, and keep verb tenses consistent within the same time frame.

× I would like to prefer rural areas because it's more peaceful and you can it's convenient to go to any place that you want to taking a bill.

✓ I prefer rural areas because they are more peaceful, and it is convenient to go to any place you want.

Several errors: 'I would like to prefer' is incorrect word choice and redundancy; use 'I prefer' (modal/phrase misuse, type 4). 'It's' referring to 'areas' should be plural 'they are' (pronoun/number agreement, type 12 and 1). 'You can it's convenient' mixes structures; use one clear structure such as 'and it is convenient' (sentence structure/type 26). 'to taking a bill' is incorrect; 'taking a bill' is unclear and uses gerund after 'want to' incorrectly (verb + -ing issue, type 8) — remove it. Suggestion: use 'prefer' for preferences, keep subject-pronoun agreement, and avoid redundant modals.

× Well, I prefer view in my own county, especially in Chiang Mai because they feel familiar and I help personal connecting connection to them.

✓ Well, I prefer views in my own country, especially in Chiang Mai, because they feel familiar and I feel personally connected to them.

Errors: 'prefer view' needs plural 'views' (singular/plural issue, type 1). 'County' is a misspelling of 'country' (spelling, not in list) but corrected here. 'They feel familiar' is acceptable but 'I help personal connecting connection to them' is ungrammatical: incorrect verb/pronoun use and word choice. Use 'I feel personally connected to them' (incorrect use of pronouns/adjectives and sentence structure, types 12 and 26). Suggestion: use 'views' plural, 'feel personally connected' to express emotional connection, and keep present tense consistent.

× So then meanwhile to me, for example, I like visiting the mountain near my hometown and walking there with my family and I, I do that often.

✓ For example, I like visiting the mountains near my hometown and walking there with my family. I do that often.

Problems include awkward connectors ('So then meanwhile to me') and incorrect singular/plural 'the mountain' when referring generally to nearby mountains (singular/plural issue, type 1). The phrase 'with my family and I' is incorrect; use 'with my family' (pronoun case/structure, type 12 and sentence structure type 26). Break into two clear sentences for clarity. Suggestion: remove redundant transition phrases, use correct pronoun case and plural nouns where appropriate, and split long run-on sentences into shorter ones.