Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific supporting details using linking words. Correct verb agreement and article use. Avoid vague adjectives like “incredible” without explanation.

예시: Yes, I do. I enjoy using my DSLR because different lenses let me capture views from unique angles that the eye can’t always see. For example, a wide-angle lens helps me include dramatic skies, while a telephoto lens isolates architectural details.

제안: Use correct nouns and plural forms, remove filler words, and organize into a topic sentence plus specific reasons with linking words. Replace vague phrases with concrete descriptions and correct collocations (e.g., “urban areas,” “architectural details,” “concrete jungle” used properly).

예시: I prefer views in urban areas because modern cities have striking architecture and neon-lit streets that inspire my photography. For instance, I often photograph the geometric patterns of facades and the contrast between glass towers and narrow alleys.

제안: Be direct and fluent: state your preference, then give a specific reason and an example. Fix tense and word choice errors (e.g., “I have lived in China for 24 years,” “abroad,” “for example”). Avoid repetition like “different” twice.

예시: I enjoy photographing views abroad because travelling exposes me to fresh styles of architecture and street life. For example, I’d like to shoot the futuristic skyline of Singapore and the mix of traditional and modern buildings in Tokyo to expand my portfolio.

× These photos was really incredible.

✓ These photos were really incredible.

Subject 'photos' is plural so the verb must be plural too; 'was' is singular past of 'be'. Use 'were' for plural subjects to agree in number. Suggestion: always match subject number with the verb (photos -> were).

× I prefer uh rules in urban area because now modern cities have many grand buildings and architectures that give me a sense of cyberpunk.

✓ I prefer urban areas because modern cities have many grand buildings and architectural designs that give me a sense of cyberpunk.

'rules' is incorrect here—likely intended 'views' or 'areas'; also 'urban area' should be plural to match general preference ('urban areas'). 'architectures' is uncountable or used as 'architectural designs' or 'architecture' (uncountable). Suggestion: use 'urban areas' and 'architecture' or 'architectural designs' for grammatical and natural phrasing.

× I love to take photos of these beautiful architecture and wandering around these concrete jungle give me a sense of enjoy.

✓ I love to take photos of this beautiful architecture, and wandering around these concrete jungles gives me a sense of enjoyment.

'these beautiful architecture' mixes plural demonstrative with uncountable noun; use 'this architecture' or 'these buildings'. 'concrete jungle' should be plural to match 'these' and 'give' must agree with singular gerund 'wandering' (subject), so use 'gives'. 'enjoy' is a verb; the noun 'enjoyment' is needed. Suggestion: ensure noun/adjective agreement and correct verb agreement with the subject, and use appropriate noun forms.

× Well, since I grew up in China and I lived in China for about 24 years and I would like to explore some new views in the foreign countries such as Singapore and Japan.

✓ Well, I grew up in China and lived there for about 24 years, and I would like to explore new places in foreign countries such as Singapore and Japan.

Mixing 'since' with simple past 'I grew up' is awkward; starting with 'Well, I grew up' is sufficient. 'lived in China for about 24 years' is fine but 'in the foreign countries' is incorrect—use 'in foreign countries' or 'in other countries'. 'views' is awkward for places; 'places' or 'sites' fits better. Suggestion: simplify tense use and choose correct nouns and articles for countability and natural phrasing.

× The end I would like to take different photographs of the different grand buildings.

✓ In the end, I would like to take various photographs of different grand buildings.

'The end' is incorrect; use 'In the end' or 'Finally'. 'the different grand buildings' overuses 'the'—remove or use 'different' without 'the'. Also 'different photographs of the different grand buildings' is repetitive; 'various photographs of different grand buildings' is clearer. Suggestion: use appropriate transitional phrase 'In the end' and avoid unnecessary definite articles and repetition.