Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and correct grammar: start with a clear topic sentence, then give one or two specific reasons with linking words. Avoid redundancy and fix articles/plural forms (e.g., “moments”).

예시: Yes, I do. I enjoy taking pictures because they help me preserve memories for the future. For example, I often photograph sunsets and family gatherings so I can look back on those moments later.

제안: Simplify and correct grammar: state your preference clearly, give 1–2 specific reasons using linking words, and avoid repetition. Use correct noun forms and natural collocations (e.g., “green scenery” or “greenery”).

예시: I prefer rural views to urban ones because they feel much more peaceful and are full of greenery. For instance, I enjoy photographing fields and forests where the natural scenery is calm and colourful.

제안: Be direct and fluent: give a clear topic sentence, then support it with a specific reason and an example. Remove filler sounds and fix tense/grammar. If you haven’t travelled abroad, say so briefly and explain why you still prefer home views.

예시: I prefer views in my own country because I find its landscapes very beautiful and familiar. For example, my home state has many green hills and rivers that I love to photograph, and I haven’t had the opportunity to travel abroad yet.

× Yes I do. I believe taking pictures is one of the most memorable things for in the future so also I love to capture each and every moments as a picture.

✓ Yes, I do. I believe taking pictures will be one of the most memorable things in the future, so I also love to capture every moment in a picture.

Errors: incorrect preposition and word order, unnecessary 'for', wrong quantifier 'each and every moments' (plural mismatch), and awkward phrasing. Reason: 'in the future' should follow 'one of the most memorable things' without 'for'; 'each and every moments' is wrong because 'each and every' requires singular 'moment' or simply 'every moment'; 'capture ... as a picture' is unnatural—use 'capture in a picture'. Suggestion: Place time phrase correctly, use 'every moment', and use natural collocation 'capture in a picture'.

× As compared to urban, urban areas, I would prefer rural areas views because rural areas views makes gives a most very peaceful and also the greeneries and, uh, very beautiful sceneries will be there.

✓ Compared to urban areas, I would prefer views of rural areas because rural views are very peaceful and there is a lot of greenery and beautiful scenery.

Errors: redundant 'urban, urban areas', incorrect noun phrases 'rural areas views', incorrect verbs 'makes gives', incorrect article/quantifier 'a most very', and awkward future 'will be there'. Reason: Use 'compared to urban areas' or 'compared with urban areas'; the noun 'views' should follow 'rural' as 'rural views' or 'views of rural areas'; subject-verb agreement: 'rural views are'; 'greenery' is uncountable so use 'a lot of greenery' or 'much greenery'; 'scenery' is uncountable so singular. Suggestion: Remove redundancy, fix noun order, use correct verbs and uncountable nouns.

× And also it's most of the rural areas are very natural scenes we can see.

✓ Also, most rural areas have very natural scenery that we can see.

Errors: ungrammatical construction 'it's most of the rural areas are', and 'scenes' used awkwardly. Reason: 'Most rural areas have' correctly expresses possession/feature; 'scenery' is the appropriate uncountable noun. Suggestion: Use 'most rural areas have' and 'natural scenery'.

× Actually, I would prefer always my country because it's very beautiful and one of the most, uh, natural, uh, greenery areas in the, in our country is our, our state.

✓ Actually, I would always prefer my own country because it is very beautiful, and one of the greenest areas in our country is our state.

Errors: wrong word order 'prefer always my country', awkward repetition 'the, in our country is our, our state', and 'natural, greenery areas' incorrect collocation. Reason: Adverb 'always' should come before the verb 'prefer' or after 'would' as 'would always prefer'; 'greenery' is a noun, use adjective 'greenest' or phrase 'areas with a lot of greenery'; avoid repetitive phrasing. Suggestion: Place 'always' correctly, use 'my own country', and use 'greenest' or 'areas with a lot of greenery'.

× So always I would like to, umm, prefer our own country's views. Umm, but I didn't get a chance to go other country if.

✓ So I would always prefer views of my own country. However, I have not had a chance to visit another country yet.

Errors: awkward word order 'So always I would like to', incorrect article 'other country', and incorrect tense and condition 'didn't get a chance to go other country if.' Reason: Place adverb properly: 'I would always prefer'; use 'views of my own country'; use present perfect 'have not had a chance' to indicate life experience up to now; 'another country' is correct. Suggestion: Use clearer sentence connectors ('However'), correct article 'another', and present perfect for experiences.