Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fragments and repetitions, and use linking words to connect ideas. For example, say why you like taking pictures, then give one specific supporting detail. Keep it to 2–3 sentences and remove filler words.

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because changing the angle reveals details you miss from a straight-on shot. For example, shooting from a low angle can highlight textures and lighting that show the scene’s hidden beauty.

제안: Open with a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then give one or two specific reasons and an example. Use linking words like 'because' and 'for example' and avoid redundant phrases. Aim for clear noun-verb agreement and natural phrasing.

예시: I prefer rural views because they offer peaceful natural scenery and more variety in plants and landscapes. For example, I enjoy walking among trees and fields where the colours and textures change with the seasons.

제안: Answer directly and confidently even if you lack personal experience. Start with a clear statement, then qualify it and give a specific reason or example from what you’ve seen. Remove fillers such as 'umm' and avoid vague words like 'precious'; choose precise adjectives like 'scenic' or 'dramatic'.

예시: I would say I prefer views in other countries, based on photos I’ve seen, because places like Switzerland have dramatic mountains and clear lakes that create very scenic panoramas. Although I haven’t lived abroad, these landscapes look more varied and striking than those near where I grew up.

× Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views because. Are taking pictures from a different angle instead of just one angle at the front. It actually helps because it it shows the hidden beauty.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views because taking pictures from different angles, instead of just one frontal angle, helps to show hidden beauty.

Original contains sentence fragments and repetition: 'because.' is incomplete and 'Are taking pictures...' is a fragment. Also 'it it' is duplicated. Fix by combining clauses into a complete sentence, removing fragments and duplication, and using plural 'angles' for consistency. Suggestion: connect the reason clause directly and ensure subject-verb structure is complete.

× As a girl who grew up in rural area and who also experienced living in urban areas, I would definitely prefer rural areas since it shows the natural beauty of the world, which is the nature you would see the trees and leaves.

✓ As a girl who grew up in a rural area and also experienced living in urban areas, I would definitely prefer rural areas since they show the natural beauty of the world, such as trees and leaves.

Original misses the article 'a' before 'rural area' (article error) and uses singular 'it' to refer to plural 'rural areas' (singular/plural issue). Also phrase 'which is the nature you would see the trees and leaves' is awkward. Correction uses 'a rural area' and changes 'it shows' to 'they show' to agree with plural 'rural areas', and rephrases the example. Suggestion: ensure articles before singular nouns and match pronoun number to the noun.

× That I cannot answer since I haven't been able to experience living in another country. But from the photos of the Internet I would say that I prefer living in other country like Switzerland since it shows umm more beautiful, scenic, precious.

✓ I cannot answer that since I have never lived in another country. But from photos on the Internet, I would say I prefer living in another country, like Switzerland, because it seems more beautiful and scenic.

Original sentence fragments and awkward verb forms: 'That I cannot answer' is unnatural word order; 'haven't been able to experience living' is wordy and awkward for present perfect; 'living in other country' lacks article; 'it shows umm more beautiful, scenic, precious' misuses 'shows' with adjectives and includes unnecessary filler. Correction uses natural present perfect 'have never lived', adds article 'another country', and replaces 'shows' with 'seems' to pair with adjectives 'more beautiful and scenic'. Suggestion: use concise verb forms and correct articles, avoid fillers, and choose verbs that collocate with adjectives.