Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Make the response more natural by starting with a clear topic sentence and then briefly explaining why, using one linking word and a concrete example. Keep it concise (max 5 sentences) and avoid vague phrases like "that moment."

예시: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because it helps me capture memories. For example, when I visited a coastal cliff last year, I photographed the sunset to remember the colors and the feeling. This makes me feel satisfied and connected to that place.

제안: Structure your answer with a clear topic sentence stating your preference, then give 1–2 specific reasons using linking words (e.g., "because", "however"). Avoid long mixed clauses and repetition; be more specific about what you photograph in rural areas.

예시: I prefer taking pictures of rural areas because I grew up there and the scenery reminds me of home. For instance, I often photograph old farms and winding country lanes, which bring back childhood memories and a sense of calm.

제안: Give a clearer reason and a concrete example. Use correct grammar (e.g., "new experiences") and link ideas with words like "because" or "for example." Keep it concise and avoid vague expressions like "unique to me."

예시: I prefer views in other countries because they offer different landscapes and cultures that I haven't seen before. For example, when I visited Japan, photographing traditional gardens and mountain temples created lasting memories and broadened my perspective.

× I feel like having that moment of being able to immortalize them in my phone gives me a sense of accomplishment.

✓ I feel like having that moment of being able to immortalize them on my phone gives me a sense of accomplishment.

The phrase 'in my phone' is a preposition choice error when referring to photos; standard English uses 'on my phone'. This fits under incorrect use of prepositions (ID 11), but the main verb structure 'having that moment of being able to immortalize' is acceptable. Suggestion: use 'on my phone' for clarity and naturalness.

× Honestly I much prefer taking pictures of rural areas because I grew up in a rural area but a city calls to me so I tend to stay in the city a lot.

✓ Honestly, I much prefer taking pictures of rural areas because I grew up in a rural area, but a city calls to me, so I tend to stay in the city a lot.

The original sentence lacks necessary commas to separate clauses, making it a sentence structure and conjunction flow issue (ID 16). Adding commas clarifies clause boundaries and improves readability. Also add a comma after 'Honestly' as a discourse marker.

× But it also makes me miss home so being able to take pictures of rural areas helps me remember the place of my childhood.

✓ But it also makes me miss home, so being able to take pictures of rural areas helps me remember the place of my childhood.

This sentence needs a comma before 'so' to join the independent clauses correctly; this is an incorrect conjunction use (ID 16). Adding the comma fixes the run-on flow. The verb forms are appropriate.

× I prefer views in other countries, mainly because those views are unique to me and I love being able to make new memories and see new experience.

✓ I prefer views in other countries, mainly because those views are unique to me and I love being able to make new memories and see new experiences.

The phrase 'new experience' should be plural 'new experiences' to match 'make new memories' and general count usage; this is an incorrect use of quantifiers/number (ID 14). Use plural 'experiences' when speaking generally about multiple events.