Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Be more concise and reduce hesitations and fillers (umm, uh). Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific reason and a brief example. Use correct grammar (e.g., 'to keep memories' or 'to preserve memories'). Aim for 2–3 sentences, linking them naturally.

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing new places because it helps me preserve memories. For example, I always take photos of landscapes or local markets so I can remember the atmosphere and share it with friends later.

제안: Give a clear direct answer first, then support with two specific reasons using linking words (for example, because, whereas). Avoid repetition and correct grammar (e.g., 'rural areas' plural, 'they have' or 'there is'). Keep it within 3 sentences.

예시: I prefer rural areas because they have more green spaces and cleaner air, which helps me relax. Also, rural views are less crowded and quieter, unlike urban areas where traffic and noise are constant.

제안: Answer directly and use better grammar and cohesion. State your preference, give specific reasons (culture, landscapes), and include one brief example. Replace vague phrases ('different view') with clearer terms ('scenery' or 'landscapes'). Limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy discovering new cultures and diverse landscapes. For instance, I once visited a coastal town abroad and was fascinated by its unique geology and traditional architecture, which felt very different from home.

× Yes, I love to take a picture when I visit a new place.

✓ Yes, I love taking pictures when I visit a new place.

The verb 'love' is commonly followed by the gerund form (verb + -ing) to express general preference or enjoyment. Also plural 'pictures' is more natural when speaking about taking photos in general.

× Umm, I think it's very interesting, umm, and it's very good for uh, keep the memory in a photograph.

✓ Umm, I think it's very interesting, and it's very good for keeping memories in photographs.

After 'good for' we must use the gerund form 'keeping'. 'Memory' should be plural 'memories' and 'in a photograph' is better as 'in photographs' to match general context.

× MMM I would say it's different umm I prefer rural area more because it's have umm a lot of green umm like more green space and the air is making me feel relaxing and fresher compared with in the urban area is very like umm it's how the traffic congestion.

✓ I would say it depends; I prefer rural areas more because they have a lot of green space, and the air makes me feel relaxed and fresher compared with urban areas, which have heavy traffic congestion.

Multiple issues: plural 'areas' required (singular/plural issue mapped to 1), 'it's have' is incorrect subject-verb agreement (should be 'they have' — subject-verb agreement mapped to 27), 'a lot of green' should be 'a lot of green space' (word choice/quantifier), 'the air is making me feel relaxing' should be 'the air makes me feel relaxed' (incorrect adjective/adverb use mapped to 13 and tense/voice), and comparison phrase simplified to 'compared with urban areas, which have heavy traffic congestion' to correct structure and meaning.

× I would love to visit and look in a different view in different country, learning their culture and the new landscape, their geology.

✓ I would love to visit and see different views in different countries, learn about their cultures and new landscapes, and study their geology.

Use plural 'views' and 'countries' when speaking generally. 'Look in a different view' is unnatural; 'see different views' is correct. 'Learning' should be parallel with 'visit' so use base verb 'learn' or rephrase; 'their culture' becomes 'their cultures' to match plural countries. Also make items parallel with commas and conjunctions.

× That more fascinated me compared with just the normal boring view that I see it every day.

✓ That fascinates me more compared with the normal, boring views I see every day.

Tense and structure need correction: use present tense 'fascinates' to match general statement. 'That more fascinated me' is awkward; 'fascinates me more' is natural. Remove redundant 'it' after 'see'. Make 'view' plural to match 'every day' and add comma and adjective order for clarity.