Views— Part 1 채점 보고서

제안: Your answer is coherent and thoughtful, with good content and clear reason. To improve, make it slightly more concise and natural: start with a direct topic sentence, avoid repeating ideas (e.g., ‘life in context’ and ‘everyday human stories’ overlap), and limit phrases like ‘in the pictures’ when unnecessary. Use one or two linking words (for example, ‘because’ and ‘so’) and keep the total to no more than 3–4 sentences.

예시: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views as a hobby. I especially like including strangers in my shots because their presence adds life and context to a scene. For example, a market photo with people shopping tells a story about daily life and cultural variety, which I find inspiring.

제안: The answer addresses the question but is repetitive and disfluent (fillers like ‘uh’ and repetition of words). Improve fluency by removing fillers, making a clear topic sentence, and providing one specific supporting reason or example. Use linking words such as ‘because’ and ‘for example’ to make it coherent. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

예시: I prefer urban views because they offer a wider variety of scenes and human activity. For example, city streets, markets and public transport show diverse behaviours and stories that I find more interesting to capture.

제안: Your idea is clear and relevant, but there are grammatical issues and a repeated word (‘and and’). Replace unclear phrase ‘seen enough muse’ with a precise expression (e.g., ‘familiar with the scenery’). Keep the answer natural by giving one concrete reason and an example, and avoid repetition. Use linking words like ‘so’ or ‘because’.

예시: I prefer views in other countries because being abroad exposes me to different cultures and landscapes. For example, photographing architecture in Europe or markets in Asia helps me compare lifestyles and better appreciate the atmosphere of my own country.

× Yes, I like taking pictures of different views as a hobby, especially when there are strangers in the pictures, because they add life in context to the views and seeing those images helps me reflect on everyday human stories and the variety of the world.

✓ Yes, I like taking pictures of different views as a hobby, especially when there are strangers in the pictures, because they add life and context to the views, and seeing those images helps me reflect on everyday human stories and the variety of the world.

The phrase 'add life in context to the views' misuses the prepositional phrase and pronoun structure. 'Life and context' is the correct collocation. Also a comma is needed before 'and' joining two independent clauses. Suggestion: use 'add life and context' and include punctuation to join clauses clearly.

× I prefer urban areas because, uh, many things that you see in rural areas, you can find them in some urban areas.

✓ I prefer urban areas because many things that you see in rural areas can also be found in some urban areas.

The original sentence has redundant commas and an awkward word order causing subject-verb alignment issues. Reordering to 'many things ... can also be found' makes the modal construction and subject-verb relationship clear. Remove filler 'uh' in formal responses.

× And furthermore, uh, the urban areas, uh, can make you reflect on humans, human beings and their problems more.

✓ Furthermore, urban areas can make you reflect more on people and their problems.

Usage of 'humans, human beings' is repetitive and wordy. 'People' is the natural pronoun. Also adverb placement: 'reflect more on' is the correct order. Remove fillers 'uh' and unnecessary commas.

× I've seen enough muse of my own country, so I prefer to see views from other countries.

✓ I've seen enough of the museums in my own country, so I prefer to see views from other countries.

The word 'muse' is incorrect; likely meant 'museums' or 'my country's museums'. Also 'seen enough of the museums' needs the preposition 'of' and plural 'museums'. Ensure correct noun choice and article usage.

× Visiting or watching scenery abroad helps me compare different cultures and and understand my own country and its ambience a lot better.

✓ Visiting or viewing scenery abroad helps me compare different cultures and understand my own country and its ambience much better.

There is a duplicated 'and and'. 'Watching scenery' is unnatural; 'viewing scenery' or simply 'traveling' is better. Use 'much better' instead of 'a lot better' for smoother formal phrasing. Remove duplicate conjunction and correct verb choice.